amberlin

i just wanted to say that this whole thread made me feel so awesome right now! it's really what i needed to hear, thanks guys!

I understand your frustration LoveBitten, i have a sorta similar problem with orgasms... i'm 25 and in a great relationship, but i have never been able to orgasm with my boyfriend, i can come, alone, most of the time, but getting there can be difficult. i can not imagine how you feel, i get super frustrated when i cant have an orgasm, but never getting there would be hard for me to handle. i think the biggest problem for me is just thinking about it too much.... i get close when i'm with my boyfriend, but then it just fades away. when i'm alone, the same thing happens quite a bit, but when i do have an orgasm i think it is because i was able to just let go and enjoy the moment (I know, easier said than done). what has been working for me lately are fantasies! (at least when i'm alone) i have read many "how-to" guides on orgasms and these guides advised me to focus on myself, and think about my body, and the feeling of stimulation... that's great, but never really worked for me because i would just get bored. i have a great imagination, and the scenarios i come up with are reallll niiice... dont feel guilty about them either! no one will know what you are thinking about when you are having some "alone time" ...i think about my supa hot ceramics instructor, or being in a porno, or a lot of time i think about gettin down and dirty with my bf. let your imagination wander! dont be afraid to talk it out either, when i'm all alone i'll say whatever feels good! fantasies tend to work for me a good amount of the time, but i need to change things up sometimes. it's really hard for me to orgasm when i don't feel sexy... when i'm going to have a masturbation session i get naked, maybe put on some lipstick, or put my hair in pigtails.... depends on my mood. i'm also waxed down there and i highly recommend it! soooo smooth and it looks really great! before i begin, i usually look at myself in the mirror (i'm far from a swimsuit model, but i've learned to love my body) and start to touch myself. i pretty much always look in the mirror when i masturbate... maybe kinda weird, but whatever works... i like to see my toys inserted, and i have a really pretty glass toy. just in all a nice visual! because i'm a very visual person i also like to watch porn from time to time. it may not be for everyone, but i like it sometimes. plus my boyfriend looooves porn, and he has a immense selection. one dvd that i really like is called Girl's Lie... its kinda artsy, and almost everyone has tattoos (turn-on for me). no bad lighting and there is some sort of story line. now when it comes to having an orgasm during intercourse i cant really offer any advise, but i think when you are able to consistently orgasm alone, it may be easier. i have masturbated in front of my boyfriend and have had an orgasm. i think that is a big step for me! its just a process, dont give up! you will get there! i was a late bloomer too, and exploring my body and finding out what turns me on took time. the fact that your boyfriend wants to please you is really awesome. don't give up!

i agree, i wish it could work out. thanks for everyone's imput! feels so good to vent on these forums!

unfortunatly our relationship has always been like this... our lives together outside the bedroom is great, the only problem for me is sex. we recently opened up about to each other about private time (masturbating) and we both do it alone everyday... i would rather have sex with him, but i think he just really loves porn and mastrbating by himself. when it comes down to it i think he is lazy... porn is so easy, and he has a huge collection. im open for anything, and he just doesnt really care. ehhhh... ive thought about leaving him, but he is my best friend. i just need to decide what is most important for me. after i get my degree and finally can afford to live on my own, he might get the boot i dont think he will change, we have talked about this since we have been together, so i might have to move on. too many fish in the sea!

unfortunatly our relationship has always been like this... our lives together outside the bedroom is great, the only problem for me is sex. we recently opened up about to each other about private time (masturbating) and we both do it alone everyday... i would rather have sex with him, but i think he just really loves porn and mastrbating by himself. when it comes down to it i think he is lazy... porn is so easy, and he has a huge collection. im open for anything, and he just doesnt really care. ehhhh... ive thought about leaving him, but he is my best friend. i just need to decide what is most important for me. after i get my degree and finally can afford to live on my own, he might get the boot i dont think he will change, we have talked about this since we have been together, so i might have to move on. too many fish in the sea!

i can so relate to this post. i have the higher sex drive in our relationship, and it can be very frustrating. (i'm 25 he's 31) we have been together since i was 18, and i can never get him to have sex more than once a week. i felt like i have tried everything... "date nite" worked for a while, but sometimes sex isnt fun if its planned... what i find has been working for me recently is to just "accidentally" take off my shirt and spread my legs i get his attention real quick and he knows for sure what i want. not really romantic, but i get what i want and he likes my confidence (not easy for me to achieve, btw) with my boyfriend... he can be kinda absent-minded when it comes to sex, and ive stopped beating around the bush... i like sex, and i like it often, so he needs to know. its weird that when he initiates, (rarely) i dont want sex as much... i think i like being the one to initiate? i dunno, like a powertrip sorta? im innocent and shy in the outside world, but i would like to have the power to turn on my bf at anytime... however, when i super confidently ask for sex, and he still doesnt want sex, it hurts so much more than if i were to just timidly ask if he wanted to go to bed with me... i wish we could find a happy medium... i dont think our sex drives will ever be equal, but that sure would be fun if he could keep up with me

getting better!

I'm sorry guys... i was a little shy, but i might as well go ahead and ask... i was having some alone time a while back and experimenting with finding my gspot. i really, really want to learn how to squirt, but i dont think im quite there yet. after i had an orgasm with a gspot stimulator and a clit vibe, i did experience some "leaking" a few minutes later. i kept having the "i gotta pee feeling" after i came... i'm thinking that if i didnt rely so much on clit stimulation i couldve held out longer and had a gspot orgasm? i dont think i truly squited really, but i was really hoping i was on the right track. i dunno... maybe i just had to pee what was it like for those of you ladies who had to learn to squirt?

nvm

i love when they happen...

has anyone had an orgasm in their sleep? i have! and more than once!

hmmm... that sounds fun, ill have to try and find it! *found it, and its super awesome!

oooh this is a good one! ...i think the sexiest song i can think of is one by the reverend horton heat... "one time for me", the guy singing wants his girl to masturbate in front of him. its totally dirty but also really funny. another one by the reverend is about his "wiggle stick" ...they're all good! another sexy song is one by melanie, but i dont think it was meant to be dirty... "brand new key" ...it's sexy cause its a little innocent.

hello! I'm trying to get my bf to "go the distance" when giving me oral, but he just doesnt like the taste... (bs in my opinion! but another thread...) I was wondering what the best flavored oral sex gel for women would be. I've heard to stay away from gels and lubes with sugars in it because of the of risk of yeast infections. I can't always tell which ones have sugar, or other forms of sugars in them. Also, is it safe to use gels/lubes/oils on men that contain sugars? Thanks for you help!