Instead of using just your standard waterbased lube, try to use a oil or balm that will add some heat or senation to your shaft. The pleasure balm is great, if add too much though, you will think your penis is on fire! pleasure balm
Yeah I don't think the condom is the problem. Hopefully this is not a long term relationship. He may need to seek some professional help. But how do you bring that up to him? Besides a cock ring to hold the blood in the penis, I am not sure what toy would help him. You may need the toy!