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Well satisfaction isn't really a problem. I was mainly wondering if it was a normal aging change or something else. I was wondering if it was related to the PC muscles. I've actually tried urinating less frequently and holding it longer before I go. I've found that it has already helped "normalize" things. BTW, the "fighting it" part means trying to hold back once you are past the point of no return and you know an orgasm is inevitable. Thanks!

I have a question mainly for the guys I guess. Has the sequence and quality of your orgasms changed over time? I'm almost 40, married, and the typical sequence of it building and feeling something in my lower back and then having an orgasm has changed lately. Now it builds, skips the feeling of it building in my lower back, and then the orgasm happens. It is still satisfying but it feels like I can't "fight" it as long. I am very healthy and on no medications. I and am mainly asking if this has happened to others over time or it is just me. Thanks.

I find it hard to imagine anyone stimulating their genitals for 3 hours. To me people must be talking about the entire experience, not the actual stroking or fingering or vibrating. Who could either last that long or put up with it for that long?

Regular Astroglide gel. I find the liquids too messy. KY is a close second and the generic gels aren't nearly as good. I'll have to try the TooTimid stuff.

Howard, I know this is a light-hearted discussion, but I have to take issue with your explanation. I am an ophthalmologist and have never heard of any dry eye related to a position. A severe dry eye can cause a reflex blepharospasm but this would not be induced by lying on your back. Nor would it be cured by turning over or standing up. This is probably more a a reflex-type situation where it heightens sensation (like being blindfolded).

Alright, here's my take on it as a guy. Do what makes you feel good and makes you have an orgasm. I think almost universally, guys get excited when their woman is enjoying herself. I rarely orgasm with my wife on top, but it gives me full access to her breasts, inner things, and ass. You can always switch positions for him later. I think for the most part, a woman will prefer the grinding action and the guy the up and down action. So certainly talk to your man about what he likes, but my guess is that whatever you're doing, he likes (which is why he asks you to do it).

I once heard that there were two kinds of men, masturbators and liars... I don't want to start an argument, but it seems highly unusual. I agree with the crowd. Even with a very satisfying sex life, there are times when I want it and my wife really doesn't (someone has to have a higher sex drive than the other person). I'll have to take matters into my own hands a couple times a week.

This may be the difference between penetration (the bunny or a penis can pull fluids out) and licking her clit.

I think it is a little natural reaction, but he'll get over it. I have to admit, when I first watched my wife with her rabbit vibe, I felt a little inadequate after she had a toe-curling orgasm (after all I can't rotate my dick or vibrate at a high frequency). But after some of the newness has worn off, it will become a part of your sexual repertoire that you may or may not use on a particular night. Just like different positions on different nights. I'd make sure you get him very involved with using it on you and he'll change his tune. We're probably having even more sex since getting a few toys. It is hardly a replacement, but really an enhancement.

How about a condom? That cuts down on the sensitivity and eventually you can probably do without.

Even though you can't move your head up and down that quickly, your hand could do it. Have you tried to keep your mouth on him and move your hand like he does? Before I met my wife, I had never had an orgasm via a blowjob or handjob (girlfriend's handjob--no problem with my own of course). I think the biggest difference between a man masturbating and receiving a handjob/blowjob is the grip pressure. Tthere are times when I know my wife could finish me off quicker with a tighter grip. I think early, a lot of the stroke should be more on the shaft and as it goes on, more attention to the head. This is probably a lot like the clit. Obviously, the key is communicating and him feeling comfortable telling you to grip tighter, faster, etc. I think it is him though given the fact that you have been successful in the past. But the bottom line is sex should be fun, not a lot of work. Good luck!

I'm curious to see what people use for storage and hiding of their sex toys. Right now, we've got a couple of young kids and have our things in a shoebox among a lot of other shoeboxes. I know kids will snoop sometimes so I'd like to hear what others do. I'd hate to try to explain a rabbit vibrator or a fleshlight to someone under 8.

Thanks for the feedback. As far as cowgirl is concerned, she does face me and grind. I just let my hands and tongue wander. I thought if she faced away it was reverse cowgirl. Wording aside, my point was that she is able to orgasm during sex, but it isn't the penetration that does it, it's the clit stimulation. I did initially feel a little "intimidated" by the speed and intensity of the orgasm that resulted from the rabbit (actually an elephant, but that's beside the point). I thought, "Damn, I can't compete with that!" We tried a double dolphin cock ring but the vibrations were too strong for her and not adjustable. She did manage to orgasm with her on top, but I don't think it was nearly as good as the vibrator. I didn't specifically ask her about it because I don't want to make it seem like I want her to rate each and every orgasm. I wouldn't want to be asked that either. What is really important is that she's enjoying herself and we're having fun together. I get extremely turned on watching her. She did say that orgasms from the new vibe drains her much more than usual (orgasms from oral sex or her on top) so we'll try "me first" next time and I'll finish her off with the vibe. I know men place more of an emphasis on the end result of an orgasm. I think this is one reason why men feel competition from a vibrator (they get her there faster). The other reason I believe is that a lot of those rabbit vibrators are huge and in my estimation larger than the average penis size. I also believe women value the journey more than the end result. My wife tells me that an orgasm is not essential for her to enjoy sex, and it is probably true for a lot of women. For them an orgasm is a plus, but probably not 100% essential in every sexual encounter. Vibration has always been pleasurable to me, but nowhere near enough to finish the deal. I would think a male "rabbit" would be something like a moving artificial vagina. Place it over your tool and turn it on. Perhaps with adjustments for speed, grip, and length of the stroke. Maybe I can come up with something...

I guess this one is mainly directed at the women of the group. I recently got my wife a rabbit-type vibrator. She had mentioned that vibrators had worked well in the past but she mainly used them as clit stimulators and didn't really like inserting them into her vagina. She had a normal one but we hadn't used it together in years. For our 10 year anniversary, I thought I'd get her a new one since I had heard very good things about them. Well, to make a long story short, it took her all of maybe 1 minute to have what seemed like one of the most intense orgasms I have seen her have. Male ego aside (hoping I didn't just give her my replacement), my question is "is there a consistently signifcant increase in the intensity of orgasm with these dual action vibrators?" Or is it mainly the fact that two areas are being stimulated? She is able to orgasm with cowgirl and oral sex, but would she be less satisfied physically without the vibe because it seems much more intense? Does orgasm intensity matter to women? As a man, I know I experience differences in intensity of orgasm depending on how long it has been since my last orgasm, but that is the only consistent thing. Sometimes it will be more intense with sex, sometimes blowjobs, and rarely masturbation. I have to say that I don't think I've ever considered an orgasm to be "bad." Maybe that's what she thinks. I will eventually ask her, but I thought I'd solicit a few opinions from the group first. Now if I could only find something along the lines of a rabbit for me...

How's the angle? Seems a little upright from the picture.