Iwant2Bfree

I had the most intense orgasm ever the other day. No words to describe it but something strange happened afterwards and I was wondering if someone could tell me what it was. After all was said and done I stood up and squirted all over the place. I've never seen anything like this in my life. It was completely clear and odorless. Anyone ever have this happen?

AT least I have an idea where to start now thank you so much!

Sorry, my PC messed up I didn't mean to post twice.

Thankyou ALL for your replies I feel alot better now having people to talk to about this that have been in my position. I have a question for you Howard. My husband has threatened to take my kids even though I know he doesn't want them nor could he handle them. He already using them as pawns. He later said that he would never do that but I didn't think he'd ever even threaten that so I need to be prepared. My kids would be miserable living with their dad. I told him it would be over my dead body. Anyway, what do you know about this? Being a full time student, I do not have any money for a lawyer. Do you know how I can keep this from happening if in fact he tries? I live in Washington State.

Thankyou ALL for your replies I feel alot better now having people to talk to about this that have been in my position. I have a question for you Howard. My husband has threatened to take my kids even though I know he doesn't want them nor could he handle them. He already using them as pawns. He later said that he would never do that but I didn't think he'd ever even threaten that so I need to be prepared. My kids would be miserable living with their dad. I told him it would be over my dead body. Anyway, what do you know about this? Being a full time student, I do not have any money for a lawyer. Do you know how I can keep this from happening if in fact he tries? I live in Washington State.

Thankyou for you're reply. I have read alot of your advice given to others on these boards and I like your honesty. I know I am partly to blame for this mess but I also know I have been more than willing to do what ever it takes to make things work. As it turned out it was left up to me to fix it (EVERYTHING) by myself while he laid in bed and watched TV and I did everything else. I finally decided to go to school and do something to try and make things better for us. Since I've been able to get out and get away from the situation now I see really how dysfunctional it is. Honestly I've tried most of your suggestions. I've been to counseling myself and am going to be starting again. I try to be as honest because I really do feel this is the right decision but I want people to know everything so they can tell me if this is my fault. I would almost love it if they would cause then I could fix it. I've tried though and I have learned that the only way things go smoothe is if I give him what he wants and keep my mouth shut. I honestly never gave my needs a thought it is all about my kids. I've always been good at not really needing anything BUT........ you're right there is more to the story. I did pretty much tell on myself in my last post but not in a way that EVERYONE would know because I am ashamed of myself. It's against everything I believe in but it feels so good to be loved and appreciated for who I am and not what I can do for you if that makes sense. It also feels good to be able to love somebody and trust somebody and totally let my walls down. I don't remember the last time in my life that I was able to be so free in a relationship. I'm not making this decision for this other person though. I don't want to bring a bunch of different men in my childrens lives and I will not. I have told this person that I would not want to start a long term relationship like this. I don't know. I just know from day one honestly my marriage has been bad. My husband told me the day we got married that he wanted a divorce. I married him because we had a child. I thought I was in love but I don't think I knew what love was. I am an ACOA so I know I have alot of work to do on myself. I'm just tired of always having to fix everything while my husband lays in bed and thinks everything is okay. He's already been to anger management and we separated for two years and not even days after we moved back in together he was back to the same old person. It's always been all my fault according to him and before me it was all his ex's fault. Everything that ever happens is somebody else's fault. I can't fix this and I can't ignore it any more either. Am I being too bull headed? I never used to believe in divorce but now I feel like I see what I've been missing and I feel without too much doubt that this is what I should do.

Yes, you are right he is a little too late. I've been here and done this so many times it's not even funny. He did got to a few couseling sessions and you're right he thought "we're all fixed" and the cycle began again and again and again. Thank you for your affirmation. I feel more right about this decision than ever.

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this info, forgive me if it's not. I really like these boards, you people seem to be very caring and honest. I have been reading for a while but haven't posted yet. I really need some help with my situation. I'm just going to be totally honest here and tell it like it is. I have been married now for almost 13 years. Pretty much very unhappy. I used to try to get my hubby to go to counseling but it was like trying to drag a two year old to a place he didn't want to go. We both come from very dysfunctional families. He is and always has been a very angry person. To be honest, I don't know if I've ever truly been in love with him. All I knw for sure is that I tried and tried to get him to get help w/me and he didn't want it. He thought we could do it on our own. Now, I no longer want any part of this relationship. I know what true love is now and it"s definitely not what I have with him. It's a long story. All I can say is he's okay with our relationship as long as we have sex. If he gets what he wants(which is only minutes long) then the rest of his free time is spent watching TV in bed. Nothing else matters to him. Now I'm kinda going my own way because I got tired of asking him to spend time with me and our kids. That's all I wanted was a partner. SOmebody to have fun with and raise our children and enjoy life with. Our kids have never seen us really happy. I've stayed in the relationship because I never had my Mom and Dad together. It's all anger and fighting. I have major walls that in the past if I let them down, I was always hurt so I no longer let them down. I don't know what to do because now he seems to want to work on the relationship but only because I no longer give him what he wants. Do I keep trying for my kids? or do I move on? The answer seems clear as I type this but to be honest, my kids have it good compared to what I had growing up but I want them to have so much more. I want them to know what love is. I want them to know how their partner should treat them. I want them to be happy and I don't want them to think this is what love is. But what's it gonna do to them when they are torn between their parents? I am very close to my babies and I can't imagine being away from them. At the same time though I want to be with somebody that loves us and isn't miserable all the time. Am I being selfish? ANY advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.