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Where Are You During An Orgasm


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Where are you during an orgasm? I mean your mind.

All I can say is I'm not in the room. I don't know where I am, or how to explain it, but I'm not in the room. After the orgasm peaks and winds down on the other side, I start drifting back into the room. I'm not even sure if I've always been this way, or if it's relatively new.

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Where are you during an orgasm? I mean your mind.

All I can say is I'm not in the room. I don't know where I am, or how to explain it, but I'm not in the room. After the orgasm peaks and winds down on the other side, I start drifting back into the room. I'm not even sure if I've always been this way, or if it's relatively new.

I am right there where I need to be. I am visual, so I am watching what is happening, her reactions, her expressions, her sensual sexuality. My mind is right there on the Sex before my eyes.

My question to you is, If youre not in the room, where are you and what are you thinking?

Interesting to hear your reply. :)

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I never really noticed anything mindwise. The only times I have actually had orgasms is either in my sleep :lol: or by myself. I have come somewhat close with my husband, he does have great fingers but he stops or moves just right and it goes away.

My God Brandy, if this is true, you really do need to have a good talk with your SO. Sex should never be as bad as you have explained here within these forums.

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I'm sure it sounds worse than it is. I think it is mostly me orgasm wise. I, honestly, don't have a lot of feeling down there. I don't know why. I can't actually feel intercourse and no jokes about his size. He is fine, its the same with the first guy I had sex with and any toy I use. Its me.

I have tried to have one with him by my own doing but I can't, its probably my mind not letting me because I am preoccupied with how I look while doing it.

Ok, you really need to stop beating yourself about your looks while having Sex. Evidently he finds you sexually appealing, as he is intimate with you. And if you are not personally satisfied with your own looks, do something that will make you feel better. You need to Help Yourself. And please dont criticize yourself as you have here.

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I'm sure it sounds worse than it is. I think it is mostly me orgasm wise. I, honestly, don't have a lot of feeling down there. I don't know why. I can't actually feel intercourse and no jokes about his size. He is fine, its the same with the first guy I had sex with and any toy I use. Its me.

I have tried to have one with him by my own doing but I can't, its probably my mind not letting me because I am preoccupied with how I look while doing it.

The lack of feeling can be medical and not only in your mind, you may want to approach this with your Doctor.

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I don't really know how to explain it. Its like I'm numb. I know its there but I don't have any good or bad feeling. I can feel him hit my cervix a lot though, it hurts a little but kind of a good hurt. I never had feeling though, thats why I didn't get the big deal about sex when I was a teenager.

Explain it just like that. Do yourself a huge favor and don't wait. Let us know what happens.

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I'm sorry I keep mentioning it. I know I'm strange but I will never get over my feelings and thoughts about myself. I've never been someone men desired so its weird if my husband does pay attention to me.

Like the other day when we were fooling around. I was on top of him riding and I decided to tease a little before he came. So I was sitting on him and he said to me "let me look at you" and so I let him and he started masturbating and looking at me while I was sitting on his lap. The whole time I felt awkward because why would he want to see me naked and enjoy it?? That kept running through my head, I think I even muttered something about not knowing why he'd wanna see my fat ass..........

I make things weird and I am sure drive him crazy with my negative comments about myself. In fact I know I do because when we first started dating all he did was stare at my ass, make comments about how it was the best ass in the world and he'd find every chance to touch it or grab it or say something about it. He stopped doing that and when I asked him why since I secretly loved it haha, he said because I don't believe it so why continue saying it. Horrible I know.

Proof is in the pudding...Meaning he does find you sexually appealing, however your criticism of yourself has affected his intimacy with you. You need to be supportive, both verbally and intimately. Even if it feels awkward, and it will, but you have to have the mind set that to do this, even if you feel embarrassed. Dont hide your most intimate thoughts from your DH, he still finds you sexually appealing. Please dont hinder his efforts to be sexually intimate with you.

Also, As LL stated, you may have a medical condition if there is no feeling, you need to seek attention for what is or is not happening there. You should not prolong this...

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I'm with Suzy, well, I mean, not when I am cumming, lol, but I agree with her post. When I am really hitting a big O, I am mindless - I have not thoughts and all feelings are wrapped up in my orgasm.

I do have some, I guess I could call them "little orgasms" and during those, quite often my mind is with my SO, since these little O's usually happen during solo play.

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I'm with Suzy, well, I mean, not when I am cumming, lol, but I agree with her post. When I am really hitting a big O, I am mindless - I have not thoughts and all feelings are wrapped up in my orgasm.

I do have some, I guess I could call them "little orgasms" and during those, quite often my mind is with my SO, since these little O's usually happen during solo play.

Really...Ok, now I am intrigued...I will most certainly discuss this topic with my GF when we are next together and naturally after we're sexually exhausted. I understand the numbness, as I have felt as though my body goes numb, but my mind is still focused on the pleasure I am having with my GF at the given time. Ive never left where my mind has gone blank.

But I will discuss this with her!;)

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The only way I can get there is to stop thinking and just focus on sensation. I love watching and being aware of it all, watching his face, listening to his breathing change, but the only way I'm gonna go over is when I STOP paying attention to anything other than the build up I'm feeling and focus only on that.

Now when I'm flying solo it's a whole other thing....fantasy going 100 mph in my head as I explode!

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I am right there where I need to be. I am visual, so I am watching what is happening, her reactions, her expressions, her sensual sexuality. My mind is right there on the Sex before my eyes.

My question to you is, If youre not in the room, where are you and what are you thinking?

Interesting to hear your reply. :)

I am in the room focusing on what I'm doing, until the orgasm gets close. Then, while I'm still aware that I'm in the room and aware of what is happening, it's like I'm not there at the same time. Like an out of body experience. Like I said, hard to describe.

My wife is usually pretty muffled on account of the kiddies. A few weeks ago, she had a pretty good and pretty long one. I told her after that it was also pretty loud. "Really," she said, totally clueless. "I didn't know; I was in la-la land."

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I totally get off on the sounds. I love to hear her little moans, breathing, and breathless gasps. During my own orgasm I try to focus on those as things seem to be even more intense when we're able to go together.

Randy.

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I make things weird and I am sure drive him crazy with my negative comments about myself. In fact I know I do because when we first started dating all he did was stare at my ass, make comments about how it was the best ass in the world and he'd find every chance to touch it or grab it or say something about it. He stopped doing that and when I asked him why since I secretly loved it haha, he said because I don't believe it so why continue saying it. Horrible I know.

It is pretty bad. Why would you have wanted to do this to him? Does it make you feel better? It seems to me like it would have hurt you both.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I am in the room focusing on what I'm doing, until the orgasm gets close. Then, while I'm still aware that I'm in the room and aware of what is happening, it's like I'm not there at the same time. Like an out of body experience. Like I said, hard to describe.

My wife is usually pretty muffled on account of the kiddies. A few weeks ago, she had a pretty good and pretty long one. I told her after that it was also pretty loud. "Really," she said, totally clueless. "I didn't know; I was in la-la land."

My GF is the same way...Though I dont know why I havent ever followed up and asked her what she had been thinking during these times of sexual bliss...Something I must remember to follow up on, definitely, as I am curious to her own answers...Hmmmm...;)

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I'm sorry I keep mentioning it. I know I'm strange but I will never get over my feelings and thoughts about myself. I've never been someone men desired so its weird if my husband does pay attention to me.

Like the other day when we were fooling around. I was on top of him riding and I decided to tease a little before he came. So I was sitting on him and he said to me "let me look at you" and so I let him and he started masturbating and looking at me while I was sitting on his lap. The whole time I felt awkward because why would he want to see me naked and enjoy it?? That kept running through my head, I think I even muttered something about not knowing why he'd wanna see my fat ass..........

I make things weird and I am sure drive him crazy with my negative comments about myself. In fact I know I do because when we first started dating all he did was stare at my ass, make comments about how it was the best ass in the world and he'd find every chance to touch it or grab it or say something about it. He stopped doing that and when I asked him why since I secretly loved it haha, he said because I don't believe it so why continue saying it. Horrible I know.

Brandy---Being able to have confidence in yourself and get over your insecurities takes time---

-Sometimes a LONG time. I was insecure about myself when I was younger also. I am not the same person mentally now that I was when I was in my 20's. It's that confidence that you exhude that is a turn on to your husband. When you are able to look directly into his eyes while the two of you are making love---speaks VOLUMES to him. I know it's hard to stop criticizing yourself outloud in front of him---but you have to stop. Every time you want to say something negative about yourself- compliment HIM instead. Think about all the great things--great qualities you have that make up YOU. Thank him when he compliments you (even if you don't believe it ) He wouldn't say it if he didn't think it was true. We all have our insecurities. It's when we are able to look through our partners eyes and see ourselves the way THEY see us, is when we can truly love ourselves.

As far as where I am during an orgasm--well I have my "go to" thoughts--the fantasies I have, the things that push me over the edge. I suppose sometimes I'm in another "place" mentally. Each time is different.

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  • 3 years later...
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I found TT while searching for help for me. In my intro I talked about several experiences I'd had as a young teenager. We did not engage in sex, no petting (I know, hard to believe) it came purely out of nowhere other than kissing a lot, sure we were both worked up but never taking it any further. On three occasions I had full body orgasms, had no clue at that time what was happening to me. The last time I pushed him off the couch and withdrew. I was in over my head and just didn't know anything about anything. Fastforward to adulthood. I've never again experienced an orgasm, came close at times but as soon as i'd get there it would go away. During those years I was very old tradition and never said a word about what was happening or ever indicated what I liked or didn't like. Spent, wasted..way more years than you all could imagine being celibate. Recently that has changed...yeah for me. What has changed is having a partner who has given me the freedom to break out of my shell and totally get in to what is happening. He is aware of my lack of orgasms and has at times, I feel, feeling like he can't give it to me. I've tried setting that straight...it isn't his problem. I get so on the edge and he either switches things up..or stops. Yes, I've explained to him to pay attention to my body language...it will tell him what I cannot speak. When I am getting oral from him I go into space. I would have to describe it as being totally unable to speak or move. My brain absolutely goes to mush...I am very much aware of the intense pleasure but beyond that I am gone. I recently posted about this unaware of this thread. Glad I found this. What each of us need to remember is that our partners cannot know what we are feeling anymore than we can know what they are feeling. If only we could experience each others sensations it would be sooooo much easier to get it right.

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I'm right there eyes wide open gazing lovingly deep into my girls eyes, hearing her moan and watching as her eyes get wide as I explode deep inside her pulling back slowly filling her as she cums, mixing our love juices together. :D :D :D :D :D

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm in the moment, usually clinging to her as I cum, enjoying the feeling, and afterwards, I want to please her too.

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I tend to be in the present, overwhelmed and enjoying myself and my partner.

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