Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Ok I thought that would get the fellas attention it sounded kind of Barbaric anyway... I was wondering My boyfriend cannot seem to get anywhere sexually if I am the one that initiates sex. It is better Now but when we first got together it was a Not gonna happen, come to think about it, this has happened with one other boyfriend. It is not a fun feeling to get turned down from your partner. I am just wondering why Men feel that they get the lead? Where is the Line on this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 8, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Ok I thought that would get the fellas attention it sounded kind of Barbaric anyway... I was wondering My boyfriend cannot seem to get anywhere sexually if I am the one that initiates sex. It is better Now but when we first got together it was a Not gonna happen, come to think about it, this has happened with one other boyfriend. It is not a fun feeling to get turned down from your partner. I am just wondering why Men feel that they get the lead? Where is the Line on this?No it's not a fun to be turned down. I'm not a man (obviously ) but my DH use to LOVE when I initiated, period. Now our sex drives are not in sync, but up until that point he loved it. Does you Man have some other issues with erections and arousal?; does he take meds to be enhance his erections? Maybe you should find the answers to these questions. Don't take for granted you already know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Freeagent Posted March 8, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 GREAT POST!!!!!Just a guy's opinion here but I can't think of any reason why a guy would be scared of a woman initiating sex. EVER? My excitement level has always been higher when a partner initiates to me. For one, it shows you hace clear intentions and desires and alleviates of thinking we will be shot down. Open communication between couples is required for loving couples, and we guys are more open to communicaton in this sense!! I can only remember turning it it down a few times that was due to not feeling well and desperately needing sleep from lack of the night before. Unless, there are feelings of inadequacy and not feeling that you can fully pleasure the partner. But, hell, give it your best shot, LITERALLY!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 No it's not a fun to be turned down. I'm not a man (obviously ) but my DH use to LOVE when I initiated, period. Now our sex drives are not in sync, but up until that point he loved it. Does you Man have some other issues with erections and arousal?; does he take meds to be enhance his erections? Maybe you should find the answers to these questions. Don't take for granted you already know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Things are better now I realize that if I am sneaky about it or whisper in his ear and dont take the lead to far it is more exciting for him. He does take anti anxiety meds sometimes. We are a lot more comfortable sexually now but in the start of our relationship I think we were just too comfortable with every other aspect of our relationship that sexually he still was uncomfortable, he is still married tho they have been seperated for quite some time now and she is the one that said the good bye's. She was completely blown away when he found someone else. She wanted to meet me and we did I think that she made it hard for him to move forward, He was married three times well still is I guess. She is engaged now that we have met she and her now lover have somehow made this like a competition I think that made it pretty uncomfortable for him sexually. I was kind of pulling away also I have never been in this situation before. She still talks the him like they are married and when this was still new she was calling him every second or texting him as well so I think that may have had a little to do with it. Its way better now I just had to find a way that works for him I think I did it so far lol who really knows. We have gone through a lot together sense we have met and it has brought us so much closer so I think all is well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 GREAT POST!!!!!Just a guy's opinion here but I can't think of any reason why a guy would be scared of a woman initiating sex. EVER? My excitement level has always been higher when a partner initiates to me. For one, it shows you hace clear intentions and desires and alleviates of thinking we will be shot down. Open communication between couples is required for loving couples, and we guys are more open to communicaton in this sense!! I can only remember turning it it down a few times that was due to not feeling well and desperately needing sleep from lack of the night before. Unless, there are feelings of inadequacy and not feeling that you can fully pleasure the partner. But, hell, give it your best shot, LITERALLY!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted March 8, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Just from my own perspective, as a Male... Im definitely not "SCARED" of a womans advances should she decide to take the lead of initiating SEX ... I believe most Males would welcome his Woman to take such a LEAD...Im currently in a Long Distance Relationship, so it doesnt take much to stimulate my urges....When I am with My GF, she has often been the one to initiate Our sessions of SEX, and I am more than Happy to oblige Her...Now your man or men may re~buff your advances, but thats a different reason all together. Somewhere you may want to find the reason/s as to why this is happening. I wouldnt label it as being "Scared" though...But again, this is just my own opinion from my life experiences... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 @ Free, I Hear what you are saying and that brings up another Question, IF a man comes and the female has not yet is it that hard to keep going to make sure she gets to her final destination? My weekend friend before I met my boyfriend he was not few times a day kind of friend it was the one good sex fest and that was it, He could go weeks and sometimes months with out sex and then he would get in there like a mad man and that would be it. Me, if your gonna make me wait for it you better give it to me good and a few more times then once a day if you get my drift. He is still like that we have always been very open with talking about our sex lives I have two friends I used to go back and forth with neither was boyfriend material both players nor did they know each other so it wasn't the way it probably sounds here. I really liked both of them for reasons I cant explain. One of the guys I have known my whole life. He knows me like no one probably ever will. I have a hard time with him because He is my BIRD I am not going to explain that but. We have an agreement that if we are both not in a relationship that is gonna last by the time we are 40 we already know where we will live its where we started from. I gave up hope for a long time that I would ever find someone that would love me for me that could put up with all that makes me me and not want to change me. Or for that matter the same for my partner. I am a one partner person but I need someone i feel connected with that will not make me feel bad about what we are doing or that we are on the same page. I think that for My boyfriend it was the same thing he was in two directions and that might have made it hard for him to completely let go. At first it was very awkward sexually and it made me feel like something was wrong so I was ready to leave but its gotten so much better and its not just sex when we are together. that was hard for me to grasp at first because his style was really different for me and hard for me to grasp. He takes a very long time with slow intense movements and when he is done he stays in there for a very long time and when we were first together he always had to be on top and it was always missionary? I would come a lot because of his movements it was toe curling intense. but after a while of that it was more like........ Enough already stairing at the walls. But if I initiated it he could not get it up at all and it frustrated both of us. I think now that I look back it was like he was trying to find all the places that make me melt and he did a very good job. I think he was studying me if that makes sense it worked for him tho because I am still here 6 months later that is pretty big for me. after my relationship of 7 years I never really wanted to be to close to anyone so I guess he gets the gold star for his massive effort Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Some men are just plain weird and I'm sure its a power thing. My husband is somewhat the opposite. Rarely does he initiate sex and I do get turned down a lot. It hurt so bad in he beginning and now I just blame him and his laziness and need for so much sleep I don't really have any advice but that the pain should go away and be easier to deal with and its definitly worth a discussion with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 @ Brandy, That is why I left my relationship of 7 years we were both so good at hurting each other in the end that it just seemed like being hurt was normal I am sorry that you and your Hubby are like this. I wish you well and you should never ever have to live comfortably numb EVER. I did it for so long that it made it hard for me to ever really get close to anyone even friends. I pushed everyone I mean everyone away. I am just now starting to have normal relationships with people and it seems more like having two left feet for me. My good friends are still here and know how hard it has been for me but they know I am gonna have spastic moments lol because that is my nature but I do not suggest doing this for long because it is so Hindering. I was so angry at my ex for getting married after we split like almost the next month that I just walked around with a scrunched up face for so long that I think the wrinkles in my nose are finally starting to subside. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Just from my own perspective, as a Male... Im definitely not "SCARED" of a womans advances should she decide to take the lead of initiating SEX ... I believe most Males would welcome his Woman to take such a LEAD...Im currently in a Long Distance Relationship, so it doesnt take much to stimulate my urges....When I am with My GF, she has often been the one to initiate Our sessions of SEX, and I am more than Happy to oblige Her...Now your man or men may re~buff your advances, but thats a different reason all together. Somewhere you may want to find the reason/s as to why this is happening. I wouldnt label it as being "Scared" though...But again, this is just my own opinion from my life experiences... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 @ Ready, I think when you are getting to know each other there is always a little something to work on and if you are not that great together and you don't know how to communicate then its not gonna work no mater what you do. I am glad I stuck this out its been a challenge but its been for the most part wonderful thank you for your input Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted March 8, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 @ Ready, I think when you are getting to know each other there is always a little something to work on and if you are not that great together and you don't know how to communicate then its not gonna work no mater what you do. I am glad I stuck this out its been a challenge but its been for the most part wonderful thank you for your inputAll relationships require some type of work, if they are to last any amount of time... And Sex is something extremely important, hopefully for both partners involved in the relationship. It really takes a lot of patience and understanding of each others needs, as well as the willing to try NEW things. I dont believe in any "NEW" relationship, either partner can be closed minded. Though I am not saying you should give into each and every whim, but at least keep an open mind and discuss what the interests are of your SO...And if your Man is not overly excited with your sexual advances, talk with him... But at the same time, dont force him to say something he isnt ready to say...If the relationship is worth it, be patient and allow him to be forthcoming when the time is right. If he continues to withhold what is troubling, then maybe you should seek other avenues...Maybe its only stress from work, or something completely unrelated to SEX...But I dont believe he's "Scared"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 All relationships require some type of work, if they are to last any amount of time... And Sex is something extremely important, hopefully for both partners involved in the relationship. It really takes a lot of patience and understanding of each others needs, as well as the willing to try NEW things. I dont believe in any "NEW" relationship, either partner can be closed minded. Though I am not saying you should give into each and every whim, but at least keep an open mind and discuss what the interests are of your SO...And if your Man is not overly excited with your sexual advances, talk with him... But at the same time, dont force him to say something he isnt ready to say...If the relationship is worth it, be patient and allow him to be forthcoming when the time is right. If he continues to withhold what is troubling, then maybe you should seek other avenues...Maybe its only stress from work, or something completely unrelated to SEX...But I dont believe he's "Scared"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 @ Ready, I hear what you are saying completely agree I am just letting my guard down and I am glad I did is all I am saying just some observations I have had in the past to now I never had an outlet to ask about with out offending anyone Thank you again for your Input Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted March 8, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 My exhusband of 13 years would never initiate I always had to. Also with him it was 5 minutes and done from the beginning of foreplay to off to the shower. With my So it is much different. He has no problem with me initiating....in fact encourages it. I hate predictability so with either of us initiating that part is definitely gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Wow, lots of great input friends thank you for all your wonderful replies I m pretty happy with where we are right now. It just seemed in the beginning it was a little challenging. I wasn't sure I wanted to take on all the things that came with him because I am still working on all the things that come with me. Together we make a pretty good team mostly with Laughter. I think it is rather selfish on my part if I were to get upset if he couldn't get it up just because I wanted to seduce him. It does not seem to be the issue now. We do not get to see each other that often so when we do there is not an issue as to who seduces who any more we are kind of like rabbits lately I will be spending the weekend with him as of Tomorrow and I CANNOT WAIT come on FRIDAY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted March 9, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Wow, lots of great input friends thank you for all your wonderful replies I m pretty happy with where we are right now. It just seemed in the beginning it was a little challenging. I wasn't sure I wanted to take on all the things that came with him because I am still working on all the things that come with me. Together we make a pretty good team mostly with Laughter. I think it is rather selfish on my part if I were to get upset if he couldn't get it up just because I wanted to seduce him. It does not seem to be the issue now. We do not get to see each other that often so when we do there is not an issue as to who seduces who any more we are kind of like rabbits lately I will be spending the weekend with him as of Tomorrow and I CANNOT WAIT come on FRIDAYRabbits Again!...LoL...I just had this discussion with Samma Bear concerning "Fucking Like Rabbits"...And now here it is again...Too funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Rabbits know what its all about GO RABBITS WOOT WOOT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 9, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Rabbits know what its all about GO RABBITS WOOT WOOTGood for you! I'm glad it's all working out for you, your perseverance has paid off.Just a quick FYI - Do you know some anti-anxiety meds can inhibit libido and performance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted March 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2012 Doesn't scare me!Bring it on, wenches!!Yes, we women LOVE to be in control once in awhile. I tried to find you a hot sexy pirate wench.I did find a couple who looked like they would have NO PROBLEM with taking control of you and enjoying it VERY much ! But I have trouble loading the pictures in here. So, you'll just have to use your imagination Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 You mean like this? having trouble Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 trouble.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted March 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 RG----I should have known you'd find some nice ones !! That one with the black boots was one of pics I found for you (I have no luck with posting them though) Yes, with all these hot women all over you-- you'd have your hands (and mouth) full---LOL---and would be enjoying EVERY SECOND of it ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted March 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 Well, for the sake of all men...I'll volunteer to be ravaged by several women, over and over.No need to be greedy...Were you not taught to share... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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