Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted March 14, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Im Up Somewhat Early...Or Somewhat Late, Depending On What Part Of The World You Reside...Humor is always a good way to start a morning...Here are a few humorous thoughts regarding "The Value Od A Drink"...Enjoy, I hope it brings a chuckle or two to your morning...Value of a Drink'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drinkI feel shame, Then I look into the glass and thinkabout the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopesand dreams .If I didn't drink this wine, they might be outof work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'~ Jack Handy ***************************************************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hellhappened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When theywake up in the morning, that's as good as they'regoing to feel all day. '~Frank Sinatra (I thought it was Dean Martin)*****************************************************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'~ Henny Youngman ***************************************************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.. Coincidence? I think not.'~ Stephen Wright ***************************************************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's allget drunk and go to heaven!'~ Brian O'Rourke******************************************************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.'~ Benjamin Franklin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'Without question, the greatest invention in thehistory of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that thewheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel doesnot go nearly as well with pizza.'~ Dave Barry *************************************************************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!~ Dave Howell************************************************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.Here's how it went:'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.' ***********************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted March 14, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 awwwwww You gotta love Cliff and Norm where Everybody knows YOUR NAME 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted March 15, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 So true. Its why I am not allowed to get drunk in a bar, my husband just won't allow it. I get naked and even more sexual than I am now. He gets pretty "bold" too just leaves his clothes on until I rip them off. So looking forward to drinking this weekend. Its the first weekend I've had off in 8 months and its baby making weekend so hopefully alcohol will be on our side, like it is with everyone else. I know its probably irresponsible but I do everything else I'm supposed to and we need a good fun night after the year we've had.Great Brandy...I hope it works out for you both...Also, dont forget this warning as well...LoL...******************************************************************************************WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Let me know in 9 Months... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted March 15, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 I really really hope so!! I joked with some friends that I was going to be a slutty teenage girl who forgets to take her birth contol pill and only have sex one time and then maybe I'll accidentally get pregnant. Too Funny...Maybe that is the approach to have...Just forget about it for awhile, and have fun...If it happens, Awesome...If it doesnt, at least you had fun without stressing over it...Dont worry Brandy, It'll happen...When you least expect it, It'll happen... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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