LANDSHARK

Aroused And Online Chat.. Is This A Problem?

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LANDSHARK    2

It has been 19 years since I have actually had intercourse.. I have recently discovered a couple of great vibrators because.. I get so wet it is hard for me to get off with my fingers plus I am heavier so it is easier this way. So I recently anonomously... sorry cant spell went online to a free sight and have been talking dirty to all of these men and getting them off. After a few hours, I get off by myself. My mother just died, ihave a bunch of stuff on my mind and I have been wanting to do this a lot. I stay aroused the whole time. It was fun but now I feel that it is becoming a problem so also feel kind of ashamed of myself. I never show a picture or anything but stil...I got off the site because it was getting more frequent... any thoughts on this???

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WendyNY    128

I am so very sorry about your mother. I think that you are using the online chatting as an outlet for everything you are holding inside.

Not having had sex in so long and not having anyone you can share in that way with is very difficult.

Sometimes being anonymous is nice as you can be yourself without fear of being judged. As far as the sexual chatting goes, I've never taken it to that level but I can certainly understand the feeling that must come from being in charge of being able to get someone else off. (especially someone you don't know) Since you are feeling ashamed and even guilty about it now, is a sign that it's time to stop the chatting.

I think you are very much in need of some one on one personal contact. No, not necessarily sexual but I do feel that you need to open up to someone about everything you're feeling . I know you have been trying to meet someone on that dating site. How is that going ?

I'm not sure if I've been of any help but I know there are lots of others on here with more insight who I'm sure will be posting soon. In the meantime please try not to get down on yourself about all of it. Do something for yourself this weekend and who knows--you just may meet someone when you're not looking for them in the most unexpected place !!

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Tyger    717

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. It's extremely hard when we loose a parent. My deepest condolences to you.

However,after someone close to us dies, it is very normal for someone to feel horny, ironically. Death makes us feel like living!

It sounds like you're using this site in replacement of real contact./interaction Why is that? Replacing real human contact with websites and sex toys isn't an answer for anything. Though, people on websites can't see you (unless you want them too), the attraction of fantasy is very strong. Online, behind a keyboard, you can be whomever you want to be, look & act however you want too.

If you think that visiting the site that you frequent is getting out of hand, then you may have to wean yourself off of it. Start by not going on there at your usual time, like an hour later, and only stay for half the time you normally do. If you find you can't wean yourself off, counseling may be necessary. If you feel that it may be a problem, then it probably is.

Please keep posting. :) Good luck.

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Tyger    717

This is a very previous topic. But I was wondering if anyone else goes online to get off for whatever reason?

I have only been on dating sites (not anymore). But, I do my best flirting in person.

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I visit fetlife a few timesa week but mainly I look at the images, read journal entries or erotic work. I don't get off on it, but I do enjoy it 

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l8niter    888

I don't go on sites like that because ive had friends that have and got bad viruses from the sites and my  network firewall wont allow those sites to be visited but its ok because all I need to get off is my sexy wenwitch and her toybox

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WenWitch    508

Like Tyger, I have done the dating service thing in the past and have flirted with others but after a while I have had some bad experiences from hooking up. People aren't always who they set their profiles to be. The dating service experience came to an abrupt end right after that. I met L8niter the old fashion way...offline. :D We just recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary as a couple. I'm happy and very pleased and lucky to have him in my life. :kiss::kiss::kiss:

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bbarney    46

I can certainly understand the appeal of those online chat sites. There is something that makes the experience more erotic because you are living wholly in a fantasy and you can act out those fantasies as long as you have a willing partner. I think the danger though is that it is very easy to reap large rewards and it can become addictive and dangerous. If you are feeling like its time to stop then there is no one on here that would be right in telling you otherwise. You know what is best for you.

At the same time though, I think it would be good for you to find someone you can open up to (as Tyger said) and release that tension in a healthier manner. Cybersex is great and it has its time and place, but you dont want to use it as a way to deal with the deeper issues. If you are using it for your sexual health, and you feel comfortable, then there is nothing wrong. On the other hand, if you are using it in lieu of healing, then you need to find a way to heal first.

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l8niter    888

Back in the late 90s my first wife and I got into the chat sites and she got into it a lot more then me, she ended up running off to texas for a guy that turned out to not be so nice to her ( live and learn I guess ) . As for me it wasn't that bad I found some good people and started meeting them at chat parties, so I agree to a point that chat sites can be bad but I made a lot of good new friends in my adventure into the world of chat. eventually meeting my 2nd ex wife but that's another story :D:D:D:D:D

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Tyger    717

I've met several nice people on HERE!!! In fact, I have shared phone numbers and Facebook page names with a select few of them!! Though this isn't a "chat/dating" site, I think that if you give people a try, and, over time, see what kind of people they are, you can find some really nice people.

I met my GF on a dating website. It was kinda a last ditch effort for both of us. I'm so glad we found each other!!!

As long as one doesn't REPLACE being online for real life interactions, I don't see much of an issue.

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RC4BLUE    872

I agree most people are nice here. I have had some interesting conversations with a select few. One person in particular I met here, she and I have shared a great deal. It started out as a fun game and developed into a friendship. There are a few others that if I had a chance to meet in person I am sure I would like. Sexy chat can be just for fun and in a few instances can be a bridge to relationships. 

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Tyger    717

Yep!

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Frustrated    11

Lanshark

 

i feel just like you.  Frustrated in a sexless marriage.  Haven't had sex with him in 22 years!

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krisleightate    135

I am sorry to hear that Frustrated.  

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Tyger    717
On 5/2/2016 at 9:00 PM, Frustrated said:

Lanshark

 

i feel just like you.  Frustrated in a sexless marriage.  Haven't had sex with him in 22 years!

That's so sad. I am sorry that you're having to go thru that.

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