Members Harpy6 Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 As the title says...I have a very hard time getting my husband(who is only 27) in the mood for sex. He seems to not want it almost ever. There are days were all I want is to be naked with him and start fooling around but he will slap my hand away or just tell me no. I have tried walking around the house nake, sitting on the couch naked next to him...but it seems like nothing really works. We even together decided to buy some toys to experiment with. (These are the first toys I have ever owned) He just seems uninterested in using them. Advice on things I can do to make him more interested or anything really to help. Thanks 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Frank82 Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Sounds like you too need to really talk and have him tell you what he really would like. Sounds like the needs some thing else then what has been done so far. He may not even know what that is maybe. The only other thing is maybe some thing medical is all I can think of. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted October 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 I know how frustrating it can be to have a partner that is not interested in sex. I was once told if I never have sex again that would be good with me. She never wanted to work on her lack of desire. Having said this, I suggest a very blunt conversation with your husband about your needs and why sex is important in the relationship. There are several books that address low sexual interest. You might want to look at a book Sexual Awareness by McCarthy (I believe that is how the name is spelled). A good sex therapist can help. But mostly keep talking. I wish you the best. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team JnWputer Posted October 11, 2014 Review Team Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 There are all sorts of factors that go into it, I have the same issue. I have had a frank talk with him and I have explained to him I need to be held and touched. I also said if you don't want to I can find someone who will. It works for about a week to a month and then he goes back to the same ways. Toys are my saving grace.Now I find if i feed him seafood, it seems to put him in a better mood for it. Also I drag him in the shower with me with promises I want to give him a shower and use my body to wash him. I smack his butt, I bite him, he bends over and I rub him. Pretty much use any reason to touch him. I really try all sorts of stuff. Get creative and brazen. Even in public find reasons to rub him or just be naughty.Its a struggle even with therapy, but I hope I have given you some help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bigcock Posted October 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Put some Viagra in his coffee on the morning he doesn't go to work. I promise he will be trying to fuck anything with a hole, including yours, he will take the doorknobs out the door!!!!! Lol!!! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted November 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2014 It is a tough situation. My ex husband was that way. When we did finally have sex maybe once a month it was very short and not sweet. It was definitely a quickie every time. This along with some other things made me to finally end the marriage. After leaving the marriage I learned so much about myself and how I deserved to be pleased as much as my partner needs to be pleased. I was always doing everything for my ex and he would not for me. I am so thankful for the partner I found at the end of my marriage. It was an eye opener. I now embrace my sexuality. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted November 3, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 It could be an emotional issue. Have you ever sat down with him in and just asked him if there was something he's dissatisfied with in your relationship or, is he getting what he need from this relationship, or does he feel the weight of the world on his shoulders for some reason. Have a open heart to heart (outside of the bedroom) to get to the bottom of it. This could change your world. However if he hasn't been very interested in sex since your dating days, perhaps it's a biologic issue. Have him go to the MD and get his levels checked. Let us know what happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted October 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2015 Gypsyndn, I feel for you. I personally know how frustrating it is to be in a relationship where the other person is not sexual. I was there in my past marriage. Unfortunately I don't know what will help if he is unwilling to make strides to be more sexual. He may have or be suffering from a low sex drive. Unless he is willing to get help, professional help there is little that will change. It sounds like you have talked and tried anything you can think of to stimulate him. I wish you had a better response from him. As for you taking medications,I would be very cautious and actually advise against it. All of the medications that will lower sex drive have side effects. They may also flatten your mood or interfere with other parts of your life. I know what it is like to have a sex drive that runs at 110%. Even though I get frustrated and long for sex (being single now), I would rather feel that have those feeling damped down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted October 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2015 More toys, more fantasy, more... I wish you the best, Gypsyndn. If you can make scrap booking sexual you have amazing talent and it would be something to see. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members michelleddd Posted October 18, 2015 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2015 Sorry your husband doesn't want to fix his problem. I'm not sure there is anything you can do other than keep stressing to himhe needs to see his Dr. Maybe preface it by saying someone having erection issues probably has health issues also, blood flow/heart or diabetes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team PlayfulKitty Posted April 20, 2016 Review Team Report Share Posted April 20, 2016 Ugh I can relate to this 100% my husband and I are 10 years apart which is why I think we have this issue, my libido is always roaring! He likes sex but definitely not as frequently as I do.. it sucks! On top of that he doesn't last or want to go several times as much as I would like him too.. Im sure the more children we have and the older I get maybe well be on the same sexual wave length, but right now its definitely something I just deal with.. I also think we are both on different sexual maturity levels I know I have had double the amount of sexual partners he has-he was a late bloomer in the dating world- so i know what i like and iv tried a million things, he just likes plain and simple..and oral. like all men. so harpy. Im with ya sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted April 20, 2016 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2016 "Just plain and simple...and oral, like all men." Funny line... peole have different rent levels of sexual desire. Sometimes based on age, sometimes based on experience, sometimes based on circumstances. Both men and women can see spikes and declines in sexual interest and activity over a lifetime. I know I have always had a much stronger, higher sex drive than my past partners. I have been told "I can't keep up." I know I am the one who likes to introduce new things to sexual play time. I tended to be the more creative and experimenting one in my past relationships. I have like being playful. Unfortunately not all partners have seen it the same way. The key is to keep play alive, keep sex alive and keep intimacy alive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crazy Cat Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 I find myself in this same situation. I long for the days of our youthful marriage. When the amount of sex we had, and the creativity in which we had it was incredible. I find myself feeling angry for bottling up my desires. My self-esteem has taken a major hit. Then I feel tremendous guilt because I know it is due to health reasons that he can not or does not want sex. I do not want to be a shallow person. With no compassion for my husband and what I am sure is difficult for him as well. As my daily frustrations grow so does my guilt. Do we communicate? yes. Is there understanding on both parts? yes. The end result is there change? no. There are many great qualities in my husband that lately I am having a difficult time seeing on a daily basis. And so then there is more guilt and frustration on my part. Not really looking for answers. Not quite sure there are any. Just venting tonight. Thanks for listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted March 10, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 Crazy Cat, I totally empathize with you. I went through much the same thing with my ex. She stopped being sexual. It was very frustrating and difficult. There were/are many great things about her, but the lack of affection and sexuality finally took its toll on the relationship. We still are good friends, but lovers we stopped being long ago. I wish you all the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crazy Cat Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 Thanks for your words. If I my ask, how long were you married RC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tiedupnaked33 Posted March 16, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 16, 2017 On 10/10/2014 at 1:25 PM, Harpy6 said: As the title says...I have a very hard time getting my husband(who is only 27) in the mood for sex. He seems to not want it almost ever. There are days were all I want is to be naked with him and start fooling around but he will slap my hand away or just tell me no. I have tried walking around the house nake, sitting on the couch naked next to him...but it seems like nothing really works. We even together decided to buy some toys to experiment with. (These are the first toys I have ever owned) He just seems uninterested in using them. Advice on things I can do to make him more interested or anything really to help. Thanks Must be something bothering him. Maybe work. Just reading your post makes this old man ready to go. You just have to get him to open up to you. Good Luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tiedupnaked33 Posted March 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 Perhaps you should show us those boobs for a little excitement. I just have a feeling this might be possible. Based on private conversations I think she may bless us with a little encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members scubadiv1951 Posted March 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 Wow, your body is gorgeous , Very Beautiful !! Thanks for sharing ! Sorry to hear of your situation with husband ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted March 18, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 I unfortunately know the feeling all to well, Big Rack. BTW, your photos are stunning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 My ex husband was in an oil field accident, where he was jarred from the platform he was on, and damaged his spinal cords and a couple of discs. He was depressed that he couldn't perform as well, and was in pain all of the time. He retreated into video games, and basically mentally left the marriage and family (we have a daughter together). Even with many talks, cries (on my part), begging, and yelling sessions, he just couldn't shake the issues the accident caused him. I used toys to satisfy my physical desire, but it came to a point that "the bed hurt his back", and he stopped sleeping in bed with me. I was totally ignored all of the time.....unless I was "nagging", then he got pissed and shut me out. And, he refused to go talk to anyone either. I left 5 yrs after the accident. I tried that long. Some marriages can be saved, but only if BOTH parties are willing to do some serious LISTENING, compromising, trying, and actual doing. I wish you both much luck. I hope that everything improves. Feel free to message me if you're wanting to chat. Blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crazy Cat Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 Thank you for sharing your story Tyger. It has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me. And I am trying anything I can to find purchase. I could have said with strong conviction once apon a time. That I would never cheat on my husband, but I am seeing signs that I am mentally checking out. And that scares me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted March 18, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 23 minutes ago, Big Rack said: . . . VIAGRA???? Does it just make a guy hard or does it make them horny? Is there a difference????? . . . I tried Viagra a couple of times (for low sex drive that seems to hit every winter). Gave me a hardon that didn't want to go away, but didn't make me horny in the least. Took me forever to come. It was more of a chore than a pleasure. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted March 18, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 All the erection enhancing drug will help with erection, but have little impact on desire or erotic interest. Pain meds and viagra may not mix well. That is a question for his physician. i have always had desire, lust, erotic focus. My partner did not. She stopped sex years before we ended the relationship. I was frustrated, sad, angry, hurt, fearful, lonely and felt rejected for a long time. It had a huge impact on the relationship. I was committed and did not stray. I was tempted often, had my chances, but stayed faithful to the relationship to the end. She is a wonderful person, just not sexual at all. Now I am not involved with anyone. That is just as hard or harder at times. I keep seeking a partner. It is not easy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 6996horney Posted March 23, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 23, 2017 Well my problem is with the wife never wanting sex. We might have it once a month and it is always the same finger her to cum and then I get to cum in her, so boring. My drive runs crazy and hers doesn't even get out of first gear, so trust me I know how you all feel. I will use some of your advice and see where it goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 6996horney Posted March 23, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 23, 2017 On 3/17/2017 at 11:20 AM, Big Rack said: Tied up, only since ya asked nice... Ok they were in the gallery? Some of them. I can try to do that, no telling where they'll end up. I see four pics... Is this encouraging? Bigrack you are lovely sorry to hear about your hubby. I can relate but in the other way as wife hardly ever wants to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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