Newbie happymarriedguy Posted July 4, 2015 Newbie Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 does anyone else find sex toys just distracting? we delved into them recently for the first time to try to spice up the usual menu after 28 yrs of marriage (vibrating cock rings, which promised pleasure for both, and your basic vibrator) and found them kinda distracting. are we missing something??? any one else out there that's come to the same conclusion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members michelleddd Posted July 4, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 I like them from time to time, although I'm not a fan of buzzy toys. We have a few that I'm extremely fond of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted July 4, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 I think at first for some people using toys can be distracting or different. For me I like to incorporate the use of toys and be playful with them.some time there is a role play that makes the use of toys exciting. Sometimes the use of toys is important especially if we are switching roles or doing some BDSM play. And sometimes no toys are called for depending on the mood or setting. But when I started playing with toys during sex there was an awkwardness that occurred. The more I played with them the more relaxed and fun it became. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team l8niter Posted July 4, 2015 Review Team Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 Don't count them out because of the first time it is a learning curve.different toys affect women and men differently try using the cockring in your hand stimulating her clit while you gently finger her as she gets aroused it will arouse you seeing the pleasure in her eyes and then when shes ready go on in with or without the cockring and also explore other types of toys sit down with your wife and look thru and see what perks interest in both of you and discuss it with each other before purchasing it and it takes time to find the right toy to work the first time but im sure after you and your wife find that just right toy all others will fall into place and be very enjoyable for both of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 6, 2015 Report Share Posted July 6, 2015 No, I don't find them distracting, however, I've been using them for a long time now. The other "for" posters are correct. They do take time to get use too, and, it also depends on the toy. If you're looking at, say, a rabbit toy, which some can have quite a few buttons/features.And, if the first time you decide to try it, is when you're about to have sex, absolutely yes, this can be very distracting.I suggest, that, when you get something new, you explore it first. It doesn't even need to be when you're about to have sex. Read the box to see what features the toy has, battery needs, and so on. Wash it off first, insert the batteries, making sure that it's all ready to go, then play with the settings, seeing what button/dial does what. Find the setting that you like, and remember it. I could crack a joke and say that most men won't read the directions, however, most toys don't really come with any. Most of the time, the box just points to the buttons saying what each one does, and whammo, those are your instructions. Some boxes don't even do that. Some battery compartments show which way to put the battery, others just have a positive and negative symbol, and then there are others that just leave guessing. So, again, get your toy all ready to go BEFORE you decide on a toy night.Another important thing to familiarize yourself with, is the toy materials. Some lubes are not good with some toy materials. Such as, silicone toys and silicone lubes are a no-no. Silicione lubes will, ironically enough, break down a silicone toy. Water-based lubes are the safest way to go, whether it's toys or condoms, in my opinion. But there are those that do prefer silicone lubes. So, just be careful.Familiarizing yourself with it may sound a bit silly. But, think of it this way: when you get in a new to you car, do you just start it up and go, or do you sit there for a minute or 2, seeing where the gear shift is, turn signals, maybe the air controls? Yes, usually. Same idea. Remember, sex toys are an enhancement in the bedroom, not replacements.With anything, there are things to do, remember, and try. Sex toys are just another thing you need to learn about if you're going to start using them. I've been using them regularly since 2008, and, now, it's just second nature with what to do, materials, and what I prefer. It takes time and education. And it's TOTALLY worth the extra fun!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team l8niter Posted July 13, 2015 Review Team Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 I hope things are getting better for you and your SO in the toy department my GF and I use her toys a lot in the foreplay and have been slowly including them into the sexual encounter :) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie BetterLateThanNever Posted October 5, 2015 Newbie Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 Just got my first toy (Paris nubby from Too Timid - thinking about naming it Jean Paul), and husband doesn't know about it yet. Wondering how to start incorporating it without a huge awkward moment?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted October 9, 2015 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2015 I would suggest having a talk about how to make your play time more fun. Suggest trying some new things. Maybe show him the toy and let him handle it. Then talk about how much fun it could be to use the toy during sex. Show him how it works. If you are comfortable you could let him watch you as you use it then invite him to use the toy on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MDeb Posted October 9, 2015 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2015 Like l8niter said, there's a learning curve. This is different than what you did before. There are so many different toys out there, experiment and find what you and your SO like. There's no magic solution here. What works for one couple doesn't necessarily work for another. And, what works for your SO might not really be your favorite. And vice-versa. Be open with each other and talk about it. Here, we go by the theory that whatever gives the other pleasure is a GOOD THING. Maybe that will work for you, and maybe not. Remember, this is supposed to be fun, not work.M&D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted October 10, 2015 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 There are so many different toys. My wife and I have tried several and there were hits and misses. Some, like the rabbits, do nothing for her. Dildos - nada. OTOH restraints, floggers, and crops are part of nearly every playtime for us now. My wife loves the little Cushee butt plugs, but those are the only ones she likes. If you are worried about cost, the most cost effective toys we have are some 1/2 inch rope and a soft black scarf we use for a blindfold. My point is there is so much out there to try, if you keep looking you'll surely find something that works for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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