Sex Education In Schools

[Tyger]

I have no idea what some states, like the state I live in, with teaching "abstinence" only. In a large populated state like Texas, teaching the consequences of having sex, including oral sex, would be more important.

True, as a parent, it's our jobs to teach our kids, however, you have some parents, like my mother, that never think to talk to their kids about sex, or show their kids by example, that being free loving, uncaring, and getting knocked up with each man they're with to try and keep them, is ok.

Thankfully, I grew up in a state where they taught sex ed, and then you could go and have a couple of more semesters of it if you wanted. I also had common sense, and a mother that, by example, showed me that you don't need a man to be happy and have things.

Now a-days, kids don't have that. Common sense isn't so common, and people having a ton of kids is more normal than just one (I have just one, by choice). I never had a child that I wanted to try and hang on to a man with (and if you have to do that, that man isn't truly into you anyway, IMHO). My child was planned. There are ways, and I was thankfully educated, to prevent it, and learned how to tell a man that says "oh, c'mon baby, I'll pull out, or condoms are so uncomfortable for me" that unless he used a condom, there would be no nookie with me,and MEAN it.

I've seen parents, my age, with teenagers, that, when their teens get knocked up, or knock up some girl, treat it as a total blessing, with no consequences, and then they turn around and totally take care of their kids, and grandkids, plus the baby's other parent!!! WTF???

I do talk to my daughter about sex. She knows how it happens, and a lot of the terminology, age appropriate, of course. I'm working more on her self-esteem, and how to say no. I don't believe she's going to be one that gets guilted or "I'll like you more if...." type of girl. She seems pretty independent!

This is just a rant for me. Feel free to post your thoughts.

[RC4BLUE]

Sex education is schools in most states is nearly nonexistent. The policy of abstinence only doe not work. There are many places that can not even use appropriate terminology of body parts. I have friends who are educators and complain about being band from the words penis and vagina in a classroom. I hear the rhetoric about its the parents responsibility to teach children about sex. Then if you start asking parent about sexuality you discover how many parent have little to no education on sexuality. There is so much misinformation out there about sex. It is ashame that we in the USA can not get past our artificial (in my opinion) fears and have open and honest discussions about sexuality.

[l8niter]

Kudos to you Tyger for making and taking the time to talk to your daughter, Most parents don't talk to there kids and let things happen and deal with it when it happens. When I was in school they didn't have sex education so most of my learning was from hustler magazine and seeing the forbidden XXX movies.

[RC4BLUE]

Wen having parent who refuse to talk about sex and then basically demonize sex is horrible. Unfortunately it is not unusual. My parents never talked about sex. Your description of the type of education is sad, but to common. So many schools teach biology at a basic level. The rest of sex is left for us to discover on our own as teenagers. If we have more complete education about sexuality including pleasure, connection, and health I believe we all would be in a much better place with sex in the USA.

[Kama]

I barely remember the sex Ed in my highschool, and I might be one of the more younger members here. Let's just say that it was very general.  I have learned more about sex by just talking on forums and reading up on websites.

Letting kids learn on their own is bad advice, imho.  This opens up teenagers and young adults to encounter bad experiences or not know what's normal. Imagine a young couple that doesn't know about foreplay, and that may just lead to painful experiences.  Or, maybe someone isn't sure how to say no or set a boundary. 

 

[Kama]

On January 5, 2016 at 8:55 PM, WenWitch said:

We had sex education in school but it left me with a lot of unanswer questions. We learned about the basics. This is a woman. The woman has a vagina. This is a man. The man has a penis. This is an egg that comes from the woman's ovaries. This is a sperm. etc. The whole teaching was robotic and matterfactly. Followed up with a direct warning to use condoms to protect yourselves from receiving the aids virus should you become sexually active. My parents refused to talk about sex or puberty or even prementstral syndrome. My mother yelled at me for having my first period. From then on it was "if you get pregnant, I'm kicking you out of the house". That was my sex education.

 

 

On January 3, 2016 at 1:42 PM, Tyger said:

I have no idea what some states, like the state I live in, with teaching "abstinence" only. In a large populated state like Texas, teaching the consequences of having sex, including oral sex, would be more important.

True, as a parent, it's our jobs to teach our kids, however, you have some parents, like my mother, that never think to talk to their kids about sex, or show their kids by example, that being free loving, uncaring, and getting knocked up with each man they're with to try and keep them, is ok.

Thankfully, I grew up in a state where they taught sex ed, and then you could go and have a couple of more semesters of it if you wanted. I also had common sense, and a mother that, by example, showed me that you don't need a man to be happy and have things.

Now a-days, kids don't have that. Common sense isn't so common, and people having a ton of kids is more normal than just one (I have just one, by choice). I never had a child that I wanted to try and hang on to a man with (and if you have to do that, that man isn't truly into you anyway, IMHO). My child was planned. There are ways, and I was thankfully educated, to prevent it, and learned how to tell a man that says "oh, c'mon baby, I'll pull out, or condoms are so uncomfortable for me" that unless he used a condom, there would be no nookie with me,and MEAN it.

I've seen parents, my age, with teenagers, that, when their teens get knocked up, or knock up some girl, treat it as a total blessing, with no consequences, and then they turn around and totally take care of their kids, and grandkids, plus the baby's other parent!!! WTF???

I do talk to my daughter about sex. She knows how it happens, and a lot of the terminology, age appropriate, of course. I'm working more on her self-esteem, and how to say no. I don't believe she's going to be one that gets guilted or "I'll like you more if...." type of girl. She seems pretty independent!

This is just a rant for me. Feel free to post your thoughts.

 Good  for you, tyger! I wish we had more parents that tell their daughters straight up that they can say no. 

Some people think that we all naturally know how to say no. That's nonsense. If adults struggle with saying no, you can't expect every growing teenager to be strong and assertive.  So many problems would be avoided if we start teaching kids that it's okay to refuse unwanted sex. 

[Tyger]

On 1/5/2016 at 8:55 PM, WenWitch said:

We had sex education in school but it left me with a lot of unanswer questions. We learned about the basics. This is a woman. The woman has a vagina. This is a man. The man has a penis. This is an egg that comes from the woman's ovaries. This is a sperm. etc. The whole teaching was robotic and matterfactly. Followed up with a direct warning to use condoms to protect yourselves from receiving the aids virus should you become sexually active. My parents refused to talk about sex or puberty or even prementstral syndrome. My mother yelled at me for having my first period. From then on it was "if you get pregnant, I'm kicking you out of the house". That was my sex education.

That's very sad that you lacked any sort of sex ed or sympathy from your mother. Well, at least you have us now!!

[krisleightate]

My oldest lives with her paternal grandparents and I found out when she was visiting last that she thinks that the following words are bad words (also keep in mind she has Asperger's Syndrome so she isn't as mature as most 13 year old): Sex, penis. vagina, labia, breast, boobs, and titties.  I talked to my ex-in-laws and found out that they never told her those were bad words, but they also never talked to her about sex, at all.  I know having gone through what Texas considers sex ed is a joke, so I have been trying to teach as much as I can with out making her so uncomfortable that she has a breakdown.  I will have to say that I believe that sex ed needs to be completely scrapped and re done.  I know that the only reason I even knew what my lady parts were actually called was because of my mother.  When, my senior year of high school, I took a college course in anatomy through the high school I was the only one in the class that already knew what all the major parts of both gender's sex organs were called.  It was sad, 18 seniors in high school, only one knew what labia minora, labia majora, and what the seminal tract was.  There was a guy in the class that didn't know what foreskin was... It was so sad.

[12GAUGE]

Wow. In the 8 or 10 years I been here I thought I was the ONLY ONE who was fucked up in the head about sexual matters. I gradumacated high school in 1971. Older than all a y'all in this here thread. So glad I ain't the only one here with issues tho Tyger seems to have a good handle on it. Kris does also and Wen too.

1971 I was outta school. Prior to FREE AT LAST senior year Health class was required for graduation and NO ifs, ands, or butts. What a sick joke. One of the coaches taught the class. Another joke, just a BAD JOKE. I got the basics including drawings on the blackboard. I dint know nuttin prior to this class. Dint know nuttin after class was finished.

I was in a group we was all friends. Including 2 girls. Melanie was a STONE FOX. Her daddy was rich so she could dress hot and always did. Jan was small/petite. Straight blonde LONG hair and skinny as a rail. She wore mascara above and below her eyes. Her look is etched into my soul FOREVER. Still love that look.

I was sooooooooo ass backwards back then. Probly a miracle I ever got laid when I did.

Were it not for discovering masturbation AND Hustler magazine and XXX Adult motion pictures in 1970-1971 I'd be in solitary confinement doing the big bitch, Life.

'Murica could LEARN one Hell of a lot if we raised our children like traditional Japanese families did. Plus Japanese girls are SO HOTTTTTT.

Thank the good Lord above for Whiskey.

[Tyger]

I find it sad that our youth think that oral sex isn't sex. And that "you can't get pregnant the first time you do it" bullshit.

Sex is sex. If it involves any sort of genitals, it's sex. No and's, if's, or but's about it!

Kris, you're more knowledgeable with what your children can understand. Just please remember that those with any sort of disability are targeted more because they're less likely to report, and are more easily intimidated. Just putting it out there.

Since I was raped at the age of 6, I find that educating my daughter very important. We sometimes joke about it. But, the issues she's had with her father (non-sexual in nature), and him having a live-in girlfriend, who had a baby with him (so there's a lot of it's so-n-so's fault issues), who's not so quiet apparently, has opened the gates of communication. But I started talking about genital parts in 2nd grades.

[Tyger]

I also would like to say that our sex talks aren't the sit down and talk about sex type discussions. They're tied in to life lessons, or even when she asks me a question. I'm as age-appropriately honest as I can be, and I really think about what I'm about to say before I say it.

[krisleightate]

On 7/2/2016 at 11:34 AM, Tyger said:

I find it sad that our youth think that oral sex isn't sex. And that "you can't get pregnant the first time you do it" bullshit.

Sex is sex. If it involves any sort of genitals, it's sex. No and's, if's, or but's about it!

Kris, you're more knowledgeable with what your children can understand. Just please remember that those with any sort of disability are targeted more because they're less likely to report, and are more easily intimidated. Just putting it out there.

Since I was raped at the age of 6, I find that educating my daughter very important. We sometimes joke about it. But, the issues she's had with her father (non-sexual in nature), and him having a live-in girlfriend, who had a baby with him (so there's a lot of it's so-n-so's fault issues), who's not so quiet apparently, has opened the gates of communication. But I started talking about genital parts in 2nd grades.

My 13 year old is difficult to talk to about sex at all, but I do believe that we have made great progress over this visit so far.  She finally knows what all of her lady parts are actually called now, and I explained that anytime anyone does anything she feels uncomfortable with to immediately tell myself or her grandparents.  I also found out that she kissed a boy last year, she was scared she got pregnant from a kiss...

My youngest at 3 can already name all her lady parts, and knows that she doesn't have a penis but a boy does.  She also screams bloody murder if someone gets close to her vagina, even to wipe, unless it is me, my mom, or my sister.   

[Cyn]

That's great how open you are with your kids.  My daughter is 11 and she also has a hard time talking about sex.  My school district is pretty strict about sex talk until high school but the human body is part of the state curriculum in CA for middle school, so they have to get the reproduction system in, but that's changing with the new standards.

[krisleightate]

My mother was always very honest with me as a kid, about everything.  I feel that it is very important to be open with our children.  I still remember when I was 8 and asked my mom why Uncle Mark didn't have a wife.  She explained that he was gay, and then explained what gay was.  I remember that I was more upset by the fact that he wouldn't have a wife to inherit stuff from Memaw when she died (the week before she explained what a will was and why Memaw was telling us where her will was) than I was by the fact that he was wired to be in love with men.  

I actually had a breakthrough with my 13 year old, she called to ask me a sex related question and told me that she couldn't ask her Nanna or Dad, but that she felt like I would tell her the truth.