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Sexy238

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Guest Mrs.BettyCrocker

Hi Sexy238,

It totally depends on what you're into! We have a large selection of toys for men, women and couples! Is there something in particular you were looking to try? 

-Ali from TooTimid

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Guest Mrs.BettyCrocker

Okay well you could approach it a few ways!

You could light some candles, grab some cuffs and tie him up, then use the feather tickler to tease him before adding a little oral into the mix! Bonus points if you blindfold him, since it will make every touch a sexy surprise! Then when you'er ready to ride him, throw on the nipple clamps and go to town! He'll see you, wearing them, and hopefully he'll take the hint! 

Another way to go at it would be to pull out some lingerie, your clamps, and the tickler and leave them on the bed! When you hear him coming home, hop into a hot shower so he has some time to ponder your goodies! When you get out you can ask him what he thinks of your "outfit"! 

Or you could order some fun new stuff from TooTimid, stick the stuff you've already got in the new box, and invite him to check out your new toys! If you're looking for some great restraints the Charlotte's Fetish Wrist Cuffs  are easy to adjust, comfortable to use, and have a short removable chain in the middle you can attach to your bed frame or other restraints! They're a really great option for beginners!

I know if can be nerve-wracking to try and broach a new sexual interest with you partner, even for someone like me who works with sex toys! You never want to feel judged, and I know I was always concerned with "What if he thinks I'm a freak!" but its so much better to get it out there and try then to be less-than-satisfied sexually! 

Good luck! I hope these suggestions work out for you!
- Ali 

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Does he know that you have these? Maybe send him a text with a picture of the toys and ask if he would like to use them on you! Simple and to the point. Texting the toys is easier if you're feeling shy about asking!

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He was turned off by the dildo. Then I suggest start slow. Try using a bullet or an egg, maybe a feather tickler or some silk ties. You could start with simple blindfolds and play with ice, a mini flogger, or a vibrating glove. Have him use these things on you and you spill it to him. Then build to possibly having him watch what you like to do with a toy and encourage him to do that to you. Be playful and laugh together. After all toy can be a bit strange (just look at some of them) if he has never used them before.   

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Some times a guy can feel like he is not adequate enough if you need a dildo, or what is wrong with mine. In relationships it is not that as we know, but if he really never used toys before this is where it can be coming from. I agree start with none penis type toys and work up from there. 

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Thx frank!  I thought it might have something to do with adequacy.  He is very well endowed.  No problem there.  But for some reason he took sex away.  Now its on his terms. I feel like just a hole. Like he has to relieve himself. 

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Boy, have I been where you are!!!

My ex thought, at first, that toys were a replacement in the bedroom. That, if he was good enough I wouldn't need a sex toy. Let me clue you all in on a little secret, and no offense to my TooTimid family, but, nobody NEEDS a sex toy. It's not like your coochy will dry up and wither away if you don't have one. It's not like water or air. No, nobody NEEDS one. However, nobody NEEDS chocolate either, and yet, we love it! Well, most of us anyway.

My ex knew I had a couple of sex toys and had been using them for a few years before he came along. He was totally against them, and hated the thought of me getting some sex toys to replace him with. It took a while, and several boxes from here, to prove to him that they're an ENHANCEMENT in the bedroom, NOT a replacement. Adding fun and laughter, and of course, pleasure, is always always a good thing when it comes to sexual intimacy with your lover. It can create more trust, bonding, and caring. Sex toys can be an adventure in the shopping for one alone! It can open up dialogues that you never even thought possible!!!

When I got a new box, and when our daughter was asleep, I'd bring out the box, or bring him into the bedroom, show them to him, and let him handle them. I'd let him use them on me first, so as to create a bit of excitement with them. And, after we were done with the toy, I made sure that we were intimate without it as well.

Why, after just about a year after becoming a reviewer, my ex was shopping on here too, and we went to a sex toy shop (sorry TT), and he was the one to pick out our first anal toy for him. He's a "good ole country boy-that will survive (LOL)", and HE was the one to pick out and pay for a Feeldo! He would ask me to request a thing or two to try out, including a male mastubator sleeve!!

For a guy's perspective: Compare it to an extra few things added to a classic car. Shiny new chrome bumper, for example. Does it NEED the shiny chrome bumper to run? Of course not! But it's a lot of fun to look at, and makes it exciting.

My suggestion to you would be to ensure him, gradually, that he wouldn't be replaced by a sex toy, but encourage him to use it on you with you.

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I love using toys with my wen. I can play and play and watch and when she's close to having a orgasm ill stop for a bit doing it over and over again until she starts begging me to climb on her.

I have noticed that when we don't incorporate toys into our sex time she dosen't have as big of a  toe curling, eyes rolling to the back of her head, pleasure screaming orgasm .

However using the toys to get her hot and steamy and ready for me to penetrate is when she soakes me from squrting multipule times

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Guest Mrs.BettyCrocker

It sounds like you really need to have an honest conversation about your wants and needs! A lot of women have trouble bringing up the things they want in bed, and while it sounds like you're doing a bang-up job of trying to subtly and not-so-subtly hint to him, there is no substitute for the old "We need to talk about this." If you're really feeling like your needs don't matter in your relationship then you're not going to be happy and no amount of sex toys will change that.

Sometimes I'll get emails from folks who have  a partner who has decided (consciously or unconsciously) that they're not really interested in having sex anymore, and my answer is always that when one partner changes the terms of a relationship, the other partner needs to reassess those terms. You said you'd only been together for a year, but if you started out your relationship having sex pretty frequently and then that stopped without a real cause or reason, well then that isn't necessarily the relationship you thought you were getting into. 

You're comment about feeling "like a hole" for him to "relieve himself" with really concerns me. Sex should never be a tool for control or manipulation, and it should never make you feel bad about yourself. It is totally natural for you to want some sense of control over when you have sex, and your partner should be just as receptive to you as you are to him. If its a case of mix-matched libidos that's one thing, and toys are a great way to bridge that gap, but if he's making you feel bad about using toys then he's not leaving you a lot of room for personal satisfaction. 

My suggestion is to think really hard about what you want, what you need, and how your partner makes you feel about yourself, your relationship, and sex in general. I really hope you're able to work through this and have a relationship where all of your needs are met, romantically, emotionally and physically! 

<3 Ali 

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On 6/16/2016 at 8:49 AM, Sexy238 said:

Thx frank!  I thought it might have something to do with adequacy.  He is very well endowed.  No problem there.  But for some reason he took sex away.  Now its on his terms. I feel like just a hole. Like he has to relieve himself. 

 

I missed this part, and for that, I apologized. I would have addressed this in my post had I seen it.

Again, wow, I've totally been where you are. About 5 yrs before I left, my ex husband retreated into his own world of XBox online and doing anything but spending time with me, or his family as a whole. I remember one time, being at a party (one of his friends), and me asking him if he was even going to pay any attention to me at all. He stood by me for about 2 minutes, not touching me, and then walked off. No joke. I told him I wasn't going anywhere else with him if I had to beg him to pay attention to me. I refuse to beg for anything.

Then, he'd get mad when, on the times he tried initiating sex, that I refused him. He even had tried that night of the party, He didn't get that women need intimacy with their spouse, to feel that closeness of being loved and appreciated. Without that, sorry buddy, no dice.

Like Mrs.BettyCrocker, it really bothers me that you feel like he's using you when HE wants it, but makes you feel like just a hole. BTDT. I really have. What you need to remember is that what some people have already posted is very true!!! Sexual intimacy shouldn't ever be used to control you, nor should you feel bad for wanting sex, nor should you feel bad about wanting to try new things.

Some male's egos can't stand that a sex toy will bring pleasure. After all, aren't they the one that's suppose to know all about sex? They think their sexual prowess should be unquestioned. Yeah, that doesn't play. Sexual intimacy should be between 2 loving, sharing people!

Each relationship has it's ups and downs. Yours is a relatively new relationship. Only a year? You should not be dealing with something this heavy as early on in the relationship. Not to sound like a Negative Nancy, but, my and my ex's issues started about 5 years into our marriage. I talked and talked, and tried to get it to open up, but he didn't want to listen, or compromise. The other posters said it right: when only one person in a relationship is doing all of the work, it's no longer a relationship.

I hope things work out for you in the best way for you.

 

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Take it from a guy we jack off with or with out you. This not a reflection upon you. It is just as much about the release as it is sex. Some times for me it is to relax to go to sleep. Just wanted you to know about this part from a guy. Love my wife and happy when we do it together but still jack off also. I hope this helps in this area.

 

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