Help Me Please

[helpmeeee]

hi. please hlep me. i masturbate but it never seems to be pleasurable. help please!!!!! tips?!?! i dont want toys and i dont want stories of toys, how can i get pleasure without them.

[helpmeeee]

any tips what so ever?!?!?!

[nosleepnmesa]

Hello and Welcome to Tootimid! Well to be honest you need to first off be comfortable with you, also explore your body. Find out what feels good to you. If you are stressed out and not relax it will be harder to masturbate.

I have a question for you to. To say that you masturbate and it isnt pleasurable, what is it that you are doing? What is unpleasurable about it? Have you ever totally relazed layed in the bathtub or in you bed and let your hands and fingers explore your whole body? Touching yourself lighting to see you it feels and rubbing, I am not talking about automatically going to your private areas. I mean explore your whole body. Rub your arms,play with your nipples, stomach etc...

I am sure with more information on what your doing and being a little more specific about on what you are finding unpleasurable, we will be able to help you more. Also in this section if you read threw alot of post here they are full of information and help. Also here is an article on masturbation tips and the link.

http://www.tootimid.com/sex_education/just...information.htm

I hope this information helps you some. Good luck and please keep us all posted.

[bazil323]

As a girl who also doesn't get much out of masturbation (so I thought), I found that the best thing for me, was to fantasize, read a sexy book, then start touching myself very, very lightly with my fingertips, brushing them over my upper arms, the inside of my forearms, my chest (above my breasts and between) down my stomach and the inside of my thighs. I don't like fingering my clit unless I'm very aroused already. I also don't get much out of putting my fingers inside my pussy. I *LOVE* clitoral vibrators and putting dildos and vibrators inside me, but the best way I can get off is to do the above and then rub against the corner of a slightly padded footstool or several hard pillows, that sort of thing. It helps alot if I have a dildo inside of me at the same time.

You can get a similar effect with a banana (I think I'd prefer a peeled one) or a cucumber. Look around for smooth objects of that shape that you could use. Always, always make sure it is safe and clean before you use it. Always clean it afterward. After using such objects for years and then recently graduating to real sex toys, dildos and vibrators, I must urge you to try them. For one thing, they are specifically made for sexual activity, so you know that they are safe. For another, you can't get that sensation anywhere else. It is much different from just using my fingers and even from sex with my husband. If you're worried about family or friends finding out, check out some discreet toys. I saw this cute little rubber ducky that was actually a massager! You could use it anywhere and keep it right in your shower and no one would be the wiser!

[KentJ]

Oh if ony I could get my wife to feel sexy about herself! So it is needless to say that I cannot get her to talk about masturbation...let alone do it.

Whenever we have sex, I tell her how absolutely insaine she makes me...how I am filled with lust and excitement for her...her looks, body, voice, even how she smells, and tastes! And that little giggle she makes when I tell her that her mouth and tongue can do such amazing things! But as soon as our bi-annual minutes are over, she doesn't want to talk about it.

I am so confused!

Njoy

[KentJ]

We've been married 14 years. And yes, I tell my wife all the time how attractive I find her, and how sexaully appealing I find her. I "flirt" with her all the time, as I believe that flirting is critical to maintaining the interest in a relationship. But it feels like I am getting into a subjest matter that belongs on a different discussion area.

My question is would any of the women here be offended if their husband gifted them a toy?

[Tyger]

Well, obviously, I wouldn't be offended if my hubby got ME a toy, however, I am not your wife, and going from what you posted, she possibly may get offended with a sex toy as a gift.

You said your "bi annual minutes"....does that mean you only have sex twice a year??? If so, you're marriage and relationship, IMO, is seriously in trouble! If that's the case, then she seems to be thinking that sex is a JOB, instead of playtime, where, it's not only for getting your "O" on, but to connect on a deeper level with your lover.

She may have a variety of reasons why she is the way she is, ranging from sexual abuse, religious background, never being spoken too about sex, or some other reason. Of course, her being allowed to keep up this sort of behavior all these years has just reinforced her opinions, whatever they are, about sex. Twice a year? It doesn't sound like she TRULY enjoys herself, may be faking it, and just does it to placate you.

Sexual communication is extremely important, and, it has to be 2 sided, not just one. To make ANY sort of relationship continue and make it better, there HAS to be a 2 way street!

I hate sounding like a broken record here, but I'd seriously consider getting into marriage counselling to dig down and see what her issues are with sex. She obviously doesn't want to talk with you about it, which is a shame, because sex SHOULD be discussed with lovers!

Good luck & best wishes!

[Amylynn920]

My question is would any of the women here be offended if their husband gifted them a toy?

No I would not be offended. We use toys together. You have sex twice a year?

[KentJ]

OK, so my wife and I have problems.

We have been in coouples therapy, but my wife frequently gets overwhelmed, and stops going. She feels that the experience is not pleasant. The best news is that she does return once I suggest that we need to return. Usually we return once she yells that we are not communicating!

I see a therapist, as I know that I cannot and do not want to go through life shouldering the baggage that my wife and our relationship saddles me with. Additionally, I realize that I have issues that I need to work on so that I can continue to be the best husband and father that I can be.

Now to the sex, my wife and I have had sex four times this year, but that is a dramatic increase from the previous five years. In statistical analysis, this year would be tossed out as an "outlyer", as it does not fit the trend. I had a very active sex life prior to getting married. My wife and I agreed prior to getting married that sex was both our responsiblilty and gift to each other. Tragically, we are not living into that.

Truth be told, I do not want my wife to "give me sex". I want her to want to have it. But it is clear, that she has some issues that have not allowed her to connect with her sexual self. My thought was that if she could begin to pleasure herself, then maybe she might be able to "release" some of her issues. Further, I thought that if I were to gift her an "adult toy" she might understand that I believe that she is supposed to be a sexual person and not just a "life partner" and mother to her children. I want her to be happy! And I know that climaxing and orgasms bring smiles to faces...and is one of the best stress relievers.

Thanks to the posters for their opinions and challenging support!

Njoy