Women Should Masturbate

[Mikayla1]

Well, let me tell you, midnight baby feedings make for excellent late night TV watching and last night I was watching a talk show that I do not even know the name of. One of the guests was Dr. Sadie Allison (author of Tickle His Pickle) and they were discussing how to liven up a stagnet or lame sex life. Dr. Sadie said the MOST important thing a woman can do to help her sex life is to MASTURBATE!

Once again, reiterating what many on this site have said over and over and over.....if you do not know how to touch yourself and give yourself pleasure, you can not possibly expect ANY man to do it for you!!!

So gals....you heard it once again....MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE!!!!!

[krisleightate]

Thanks for the info

[Shameless1]

Men and women have their sexual peaks at very different ages. At 48 I'm more phsyically hungry now than I've ever been at any other time in my life. At 52 Beloved Hubby has much less interest and some medical issues. If it weren't for masturbation I couldn't remain the faithful spouse I am.

Besides the orgasms now are just incredible! Not only are they very intense but it seems the more there are the more there can be. Give me a day at home alone and 4 is not unusual...6 is my personal best so far. The only down side it does make it hard to get anything done on a day off!

[Kirk]

Well, let me tell you, midnight baby feedings make for excellent late night TV watching and last night I was watching a talk show that I do not even know the name of. One of the guests was Dr. Sadie Allison (author of Tickle His Pickle) and they were discussing how to liven up a stagnet or lame sex life. Dr. Sadie said the MOST important thing a woman can do to help her sex life is to MASTURBATE!

Once again, reiterating what many on this site have said over and over and over.....if you do not know how to touch yourself and give yourself pleasure, you can not possibly expect ANY man to do it for you!!!

So gals....you heard it once again....MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE!!!!!

Funny you should mention the "Tickle His Pickle" book as I just put it in my shopping cart yesterday. I would love to get this for my wife as she could use a little help in that department, but she usually gets mad at me (or just ignores me) if I even vaguely try to give her some pointers and I will probably chicken out on the complete order from TT since the last time that I got her some toys she cried so much that we were both miserable. I have pretty much given up on all of my fantasies (and yes, there are many ) that I desire with my wife, except for one; I absolutely refuse to give up on my first fantasy. To watch a woman (preferably my wife ) masturbate. Even though rimming/anal penetration is my greatest desire, I would be satisfied if she would just masturbate for me! I have shared my desire verbally, but she says her fingers do nothing for her so she absolutely refuses to touch herself. What is really confusing to me is that she loves using a vibe on her clit every week or so, but ONLY when we are having intercourse (Trust me on this, after 15 years together with me sneaking in at all hours day & night I have never caught her even remotely close to a compromising position). She also refuses any foreplay other than her stroking me to an erection. Weird thing is, I have fingered her to strong orgasms several times over the years, each time assuming that we have broken through only to have her close her legs each and every time that I try to touch her. I jack-off at least 10-12 times per week, how do I get my wife to join me?

[kitkatty]

Since I had a hysterectomy five years ago, my orgasms have totally been much more than before. I have a sexual appetite now more than I ever had in my 20's and it is not unusual for me to have at least 10 or more when I am with my lover and this is a two hour span. Is this normal?

[almondjoy]

Well, let me tell you, midnight baby feedings make for excellent late night TV watching and last night I was watching a talk show that I do not even know the name of. One of the guests was Dr. Sadie Allison (author of Tickle His Pickle) and they were discussing how to liven up a stagnet or lame sex life. Dr. Sadie said the MOST important thing a woman can do to help her sex life is to MASTURBATE!

Once again, reiterating what many on this site have said over and over and over.....if you do not know how to touch yourself and give yourself pleasure, you can not possibly expect ANY man to do it for you!!!

So gals....you heard it once again....MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE!!!!!

I love to masturbate as often as I can by myself or during sex with my husband. I love the feelin that I get when I cum and the fantacies that I have with them .

Enjoy yourselves ladies, you have not had an orgasm until you have one with yourself. Trust me touch yourself.

[brandyfan411]

I honestly didn't have much of a "sexual appetite" before 18...actually I could have cared less about it. I never masturbated except for once but my fingers do NOTHING for me. As soon as I turned 18 and was able to buy myself a vibe, things have changed. My appetite has finally joined me (since masturbation is VERY fun) and now I'm very full lol.

If you don't know of pleasure then of course you'll be miserable. Orgasms are insanely great...and even if you don't have one, it's fun to try.

[Amylynn920]

Masturbation is and has always been *me* time. There's times that I just want to be with myself and I fully expect my husband to have his *me* time too.

We both love each other very much. We prefer to be with each other sexually than alone, but I don't think it's healthy to not take time out for yourself.

I encourage him to get DVD's for his alone time. I want them for mine too. As well as I think it would be great to watch them together.

I always stimulate myself if he's not doing it to me during sex. Sometimes he physically can't. He's got his hands on my legs or my breasts and when he's not touching me there, I just take over and do it.

Sometimes it's my fingers, most times it's a bullet. I love bullets for this reason, no one's fingers get tired

I was never self concious about masturbating in front of him or having him masturbate me. It's part of our lovemaking.

I hope your wife can loosen up and find the world of pleasure that awaits her. It does sound like a mental block.

[DirtyBlonde]

I've recently re-discovered the magic of the bullet, lol...I have a few but really haven't used many of my toys after discovering "the big Kahuna" (my Hitachi, lol) a couple of years ago. I was bored one night last week and fished them out of my closet...man, I love those little suckers My favorite is a double I have from Swedish Erotica. It has dual controls and it's very powerful

On a scale of 1-10, my current love is a 10 compared to the -1 of the husband I'm in the process of divorcing. He keeps m very happy in that department but I don't get to enjoy him nearly as much as I'd like to due to work, kids, life in general, I'm glad I have my little box of playthings to keep me happy when I have to be alone ... I spent almost 5 LONG sexless years at the tail end of my marriage....THANK GOD for MYSELF and my toys!!!!! I think I would have gone insane, lol.

I don't understand how anyone could NOT masturbate...I think most who gasp & say "Oh NO, I would never do that!!" do it too....probably alot

[brandyfan411]

I haven't had the pleasure of using a bullet yet. I had bought myself one like a week before Christmas and it didn't work. Usually they check the toys to see if they work before you pay for them but we had both forgotten to check. Ah well, at least I've ot my vibe lol.

[froggystyle1977]

masturbation is necessary ok then I will keep doing it!! I don't know about having 10 O's in five min I wouldn't think it were possible one big O with its many highs and lows mabye. hmm definetely something to look into,And a far as taking small gulps of air you can pass out from this I know I have it all depends on your lung capacity and many other factors all woman are not the same.

[froggystyle1977]

Dictionary hyperventilation(hī'pər-vĕn'tl-ā'shən)

n.

Abnormally fast or deep respiration, which results in the loss of carbon dioxide from the blood, thereby causing a fall in blood pressure, tingling of the extremities, and sometimes fainting.

Ok Howard you are correct in that it is blood pressue that causes fainting, also you are incorrect in that it can happen due to hyperventilating the idea that its an old wives tale that I just thought up is very insulting

Boy, OH, BOY ! Where did you hear that old WIVES TALE???? That is the kind of thing told to liitle girls to scare them to death about SEX and masturbation! It is so NOT TRUE.

Now as I stated everything in my post as being from personal experience, I have passed out while having sex due to hyperventilating!!!! What some consider to be multiple orgasms to me only feels like one, this is my feeling. While I have read many articles on this site and may eventually read the one your refering to. telling me to go read it as if I am a child who has no clue how to orgasm is down right rude!! not to mention that article contains information about the Gspot orgasm that I commonly see you stating everyone can have. I can't and may never have one and don't feel like reading about things that I know are not possible for me. Every person is different and every situation is different to put everyone in one big bowl and say have at it is not OK.

[Tyger]

In medicine, hyperventilation (or overbreathing) is the state of breathing faster and/or deeper than necessary, thereby reducing the carbon dioxide concentration of the blood below normal.~Brought to you by Wikipedia

So, yes, it IS possible to pass out taking short quick breaths. It's called hyperventilation. Though, I'm sure most women don't do this, it has, in fact happened. No, this is NOT a wives tale. I know of 3 friends who actually BRAGGED that, during their orgasm, they couldn't seem to control their breathing, and passed out, freaking their lovers out, but coming too with a HUGE smile on their face. Apparently, these women did it a bit too much.

So, your recent post, Howard, when you spoke of hyperventilation, is a bit conflicting, IMO. You said yourself that you felt "heady" from holding your breath, but never passed out. And that you trained yourself, as a swimmer, to allow yourself to hold your breath. Well, good for you, but most everyday people don't do that. And it is a MEDICAL fact that irregular breathing can cause someone to pass out, not just get "heady". Sex is a PHYSICAL activity. So, therefore, your breathing is normally increased. All of which, can induce hyperventilating and even passing out.

I think the key to the whole breathing thing, again, is control and relaxation. I've passed out, so I know what it feels like. Though mine wasn't from sex, though the softer surface would've been more appreciative than the cold floor I got laid on!! LOL

I have used the deep breathing techniques (for years) that Howard has spoken about, and they DO work. But as an asthmatic, I have to be careful when and how long I have to do this. I've made the mistake of not paying attention to my breathing when having sex, and, having an asthma attack during it. NOT a wive's tale, it HAPPENED. Thankfully, I always have an inhaler on my bedside and purse, so, no matter where I am, I'm covered. Though I have to take a break (I do, however, make sure to stimulate my hubby when this happens, so he won't loose his mood, though he's usually more concerned about me than getting off at this point! LOL).

I truly believe that each woman is different in how orgasms feel for them, as with men. I think Mikayla and other Sex Goddesses (aka women!!) out there will agree with me on this too. As with anything else, different women feel the same things different at times. For instance: tolerance for pain. Me? I don't have a high tolerance for physical pain. When I brought my friend with me for my tattoo on my back, I was laying in her lap, cringing and "ow"ing the entire time. She had one done, same area, and not a FLINCH!! I wanted to beat her!! LMAO Or taste buds. For instance: I LOVE guacamole. My mother thinks it's the most disgusting thing on the planet! LOL On orgasm is, for the most part, a physical reaction to stimuli, which, again, everyone reacts differently too, so saying that EVERY woman can do this, that, or the other and reacts the same way, is, WRONG.

As for the original intention of this post, I believe that orgasms are extremely important in ANY adult's life! It feels good (nuttin' wrong with THAT!!), releases wonderful endorphins that can help relax, alieviate pain....the list goes on and on!

[Tyger]

OK, never ONCE did *I* say that it was a rush of oxygen or lack thereof, that causes fainting. Nor did I specifically SAY that YES you WILL pass out when you orgasm. I said that IT IS POSSIBLE. Howard just can't seem to understand THAT. Hell, I don't want girls thinking that they need to be scared when they orgasm, and it's insulting that you even think that I do, TYVM. I specifically said that it is RARE for this to happen. Sex can be as, if not more, strenuous than exercising, and we all know that many people have passed out due to that, whether it be poor breathing techniques, dehydration, or something else.

I took a lot of time before I answered this one, and did a bunch of research on it before I even posted. And, dear Howard, more than ONE site said the same thing: that if you breathe in too much, or in short gasps, you CAN hyperventalate and faint because of it. NEVER in my post did I say that it WOULD happen!!! It's RARE. It's RARE. It's RARE. I don't know how much clearer I can get on that.

As many of you (hopefully) know, or will come to know, that I don't usually just shoot my mouth (or in this case, fingers) off without thinking about what I want to say, first. Choose to disagree with me, everyone has that right. However, saying that I am "spreading wive's tales" like they are true, when there is SOME basis to it (even a nurse friend of mine who is current in all her education) agreed with me on the whole passing out issue. So, you can balk all you want, you are wrong on this Howard. And, it is my right to defend myself to what I KNOW to be true.

Unfortunately, due to some reasons, Howard thinks that most doctors are full of, well, something other than knowledge. At least that's how I see it, so he is going to argue that pretty much every medical journal/professional is somehow wrong in one way or another. Whatever. I'm done arguing my point. I've made it.

I do NOT wish to scare ANYONE. The majority of women don't ever pass out from an orgasm. But, I would hate to think that, if someone did, and was reading this forum, that there was something totally WRONG with them if they ever did.

[froggystyle1977]

well tyger has stated it perfectly I think I will control my fingers and leave it at that.....

[ToyQueen]

Hyperventilation DECREASES the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood. Even short panting breaths decreases the amount of carbon dioxide. This CAN shut down the respiratory drive in the brain, and that is why some people faint.

[synirr]

Just gonna throw in my two cents here... it makes me feel kinda inadequate when I hear people saying that I should magically be able to have 40925894095829052 orgasms in 5 seconds or less. I can't, at least not yet, and no amount of proper breathing is going to change that for me -- it's going to take a lot of practice, and I am working on it. I hope to be able to achieve serial orgasm easily some day, but honestly, I think it's a misconception that all women can accomplish any such sexual feat if only they practice hard enough. They told me in grade school that if I practiced hard enough I'd be able to touch my toes with ease, and I tried and tried multiple times every single day for a solid year, always with the mindset that I could accomplish it if I kept trying... to this day I still can't touch my toes without it being painful, because I am blessed with my father's incredibly tight tendons. There came a point where I just wasn't improving any more, no matter how hard I tried. The mind was willing, but the body just wasn't capable. I agree that the vast majority of problems women have with sex are mental, and one can get around them if they try, but let's face it... there IS a physical aspect to it as well, and it's unfair to deny that. You should absolutely exhaust every possible option (if you're so inclined) and try Try TRY, but I also don't think it's fair to tell a woman, who may have a completely fulfilling and wonderful sex life as it is, that she is doing something wrong just because she isn't having 10 orgasms in 5 minutes or less.

As for myself, I've been having at least 4 orgasms a day here lately, with 10 being my record, because I am practicing very hard in hopes of achieving my goal! And what fun practice it is. It's getting easier as I try new things, but it still typically takes me just under 10 minutes to reach another orgasm after I've had one. I had two in a row yesterday, but they were both small and rather unfulfilling, so if it's a choice between lots of those and the ones I am used to having, I'll take my singles, thanks. When I have a big orgasm I am too sensitive to continue intense stimulation; decreasing stimulation keeps me excited for a while, but the problem I am having currently is that I still lose the peak before I lose the oversensitivity. I'm working on it.

I usually start out trying your breathing technique, Howard, because it is so highly advocated here. However, I typically give up on it because it's distracting to me!! I am so concerned with my breathing that I forget to enjoy myself! It's exactly like spectatoring for me, it makes me lose focus and actually makes me LESS relaxed, mentally. I'm not too worried about it anymore because I have noticed that if I just relax, my breathing pattern during arousal very closely mimicks the one you suggest anyway -- I am apparently not prone to taking short, quick breaths. I think the key is going to be finding something that works for me, as an individual, with my own body and my own experience of sexual pleasure, and while I love this site and have learned a lot so far and hope to continue learning, I do think that some here are prone to stuffing all women into the same box whether they mean to or not. We don't all have the same problems with our sexuality that are inhibiting our orgasms (though admittedly certain problems are extremely common,) and the same technique just isn't going to do the trick for each and every one of us. That's the only beef I have with the advice given here -- I wish individual experience were stressed more, and that the ideas presented were more often presented as (VERY GOOD) suggestions instead of sure cures.

[Tyger]

Good for you Synnr. Hey, if you find something that works for you, then, by all means, GO WITH IT!!

LOL iha!!

[synirr]

I've tried it with a lover too recently. Same result. It's really, really mentally distracting to me to think about my breathing and I forget to just enjoy myself. I appreciate that this has worked for many women, and that being the case it must be great advice, but I honestly just don't find it helpful to me in the slightest, and I have given it many chances now (and continue to do so occasionally, "just incase". Who knows, things might change in the future.) You saying it as "you will go from one orgasm to another" makes me think I must be doing it wrong or my body mustn't be working properly, when I know that neither of these are true because I followed instructions to the letter, have no trouble achieving orgasm normally and enjoy my sexuality greatly, and the boy was doing everything right and giving me all kinds of pleasure. That's kinda what I was saying in my intial post to this thread -- while I appreciate the advice and am more than happy to take it and give it a shot (or a dozen), there comes a point when you just have to realize that the same trick isn't going to work for every woman. We're all different, as I'm sure you realize.

[Mikayla1]

I completely agree Synirr. In fact, I think that what is a fullfilling sex life to you, is just that...fullfilling! If you are having rewarding, satifying sexual sessions (alone or with partner) do you constantly HAVE to be going for the multiple Os? I think not. I have multiples easily, it took me a while to train myself to get there. In any session of lovemaking I have at least 4 or so. I don't HAVE to, I just do. If I had less I would not feel any less satisfied.

You are not doing anything 'wrong' and I hope no one here is making you feel like you are! There is not one way to orgasm, not one way to masturbate, not one way to give pleasure to oneself or another and the insinuation that you are doing it 'wrong' is ludicrious at best! Please do not feel like if you can't breathe as Howard suggests or have multiple Os in 5 minutes that there is anything 'wrong' with you - there certainly isn't.

Sex is a learning process. We learn to get better, we learn to get and give more pleasure, we learn to satisfy ourselves and our yearnings differently. I think as long as we are striving to continue to learn and pleasure that we are all doing it RIGHT!

[froggystyle1977]

Mikayla said it perfectly its about your own personal satisfation. No breathing technique or sexual position or anything else compares to that!! Synirr enjoy practicing!!!!!!!!

[Tyger]

Well said iha.

[synirr]

Thanks guys.

I'm really not trying to criticize, but as a newbie to the site I did sometimes feel like it was being implied that I should be trying for more, or wasn't "doing it right" if I couldn't achieve some of the things spoken about here. I'm still pretty new here, but now I realize that that's just the atmosphere on this particular forum, and it isn't meant that way. I am young compared to most members here, but I am fairly knowledgeable (if not always well-practiced or experienced ,) and I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality and know enough about the subject to realize that as long as I, personally, am feeling completely fulfilled in this aspect of my life and am being safe, then I'm doing everything right, no matter how I am doing it. I honestly don't feel like that is stressed enough in the advice given here, and I do see a lot of potential for alienating newer members because of it.

Just a thought I've been having. It isn't my intention to step on any toes by expressing this opinion, so I hope nobody takes it the wrong way.

[bettedaviseyes]

One word: AMEN

[Shypuppy]

I have felt that way also many times. I am new here and was rather prudish in my sexual journy.

I have found since my masterbation sessions that I am much more comfortable talking about sexual issues and questions that I may have.

I also want to thank the person who wrote me to invest in a pair of "balls" for my vaginal muscles... what a fun way to kill an evening.

Sweet dreams