Women Should Masturbate

[Angelina]

Since I had a hysterectomy five years ago, my orgasms have totally been much more than before. I have a sexual appetite now more than I ever had in my 20's and it is not unusual for me to have at least 10 or more when I am with my lover and this is a two hour span. Is this normal?

OMG that's something i'm looking forward to!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MystryKitten]

I tried telling my little sister that (shes 17, almost 18) but she wont do it!!!!! She wants a boy to give her her first orgasm...shes played around down there, but never orgasmed. This I know because she says she doesnt know if shes had one, and I say "You'll know its one when you have it!" She completely against it =[

oh well, she'll learn the hard way i suppose, older sis can only persuade her so much =/

[ladylove]

I tried telling my little sister that (shes 17, almost 18) but she wont do it!!!!! She wants a boy to give her her first orgasm...shes played around down there, but never orgasmed. This I know because she says she doesnt know if shes had one, and I say "You'll know its one when you have it!" She completely against it =[

oh well, she'll learn the hard way i suppose, older sis can only persuade her so much =/

I'm a Mom to 19 and 16 year old girls. I tell them all the time they need to know there bodies like and dislike before letting anyone in. It's very important!!!!! Don't wait for the BF to give you your first orgasm. Let her know a very conservative Mom said that!

[its1013]

I'm with 2Shamless. I'm 42 and my sex drive is OFF THE CHARTS. I'm in between beau's right now so thank the sex gods for toys and my imagination!

I think masturbation is good for your other energies, too. I relaxes you. It is a physical release as well as a mental one. People have been doing it for thousands of years setting aside religous zealots. So there can't be anything wrong with it. Mikayla has said that the brain is the largest and most important sex organ. I agree and solo work keeps the grey matter working!

VIBE ON LADIES!

[MystryKitten]

I tried telling my little sister that (shes 17, almost 18) but she wont do it!!!!! She wants a boy to give her her first orgasm...shes played around down there, but never orgasmed. This I know because she says she doesnt know if shes had one, and I say "You'll know its one when you have it!" She completely against it =[

oh well, she'll learn the hard way i suppose, older sis can only persuade her so much =/

I'm a Mom to 19 and 16 year old girls. I tell them all the time they need to know there bodies like and dislike before letting anyone in. It's very important!!!!! Don't wait for the BF to give you your first orgasm. Let her know a very conservative Mom said that!

Thats what I keep telling her! =S Next time it comes up ill stress to her about how important it is again and let her know I know an older woman who agrees =]

[schlingel]

Funny you should mention the "Tickle His Pickle" book as I just put it in my shopping cart yesterday. I would love to get this for my wife as she could use a little help in that department, but she usually gets mad at me (or just ignores me) if I even vaguely try to give her some pointers and I will probably chicken out on the complete order from TT since the last time that I got her some toys she cried so much that we were both miserable. I have pretty much given up on all of my fantasies (and yes, there are many ) that I desire with my wife, except for one; I absolutely refuse to give up on my first fantasy. To watch a woman (preferably my wife ) masturbate. Even though rimming/anal penetration is my greatest desire, I would be satisfied if she would just masturbate for me! I have shared my desire verbally, but she says her fingers do nothing for her so she absolutely refuses to touch herself. What is really confusing to me is that she loves using a vibe on her clit every week or so, but ONLY when we are having intercourse (Trust me on this, after 15 years together with me sneaking in at all hours day & night I have never caught her even remotely close to a compromising position). She also refuses any foreplay other than her stroking me to an erection. Weird thing is, I have fingered her to strong orgasms several times over the years, each time assuming that we have broken through only to have her close her legs each and every time that I try to touch her. I jack-off at least 10-12 times per week, how do I get my wife to join me?

did you ever get anywhere with this. as i read this, i thought that maybe i had posted this in my sleep. this is me, i mean, this is us. 21 years of marriage and this is the EXACT situation with my wife. i'm ready to give up altogether - she's 46 and i'm thinking of trading her in for two 23 year olds...funny, but really very sad.

[cybele]

did you ever get anywhere with this. as i read this, i thought that maybe i had posted this in my sleep. this is me, i mean, this is us. 21 years of marriage and this is the EXACT situation with my wife. i'm ready to give up altogether - she's 46 and i'm thinking of trading her in for two 23 year olds...funny, but really very sad.

Eddy,

I'm not speaking for all women of course, but only from my own experience. I went through a time when I thought that maturbating or touching myself (especially while I was engaged in foreplay or sex with him,) was kind of taboo since I was married. I even thought it was wrong if he touched me in ways that I might. I figured that he would think that I wasn't satisfied with him or with "traditional" sex. It went on like this until one evening, when we were very relaxed and he started talking about it. We aren't together anymore, but I've overcome those ideas.

Don't know if it will help, but just trying to let you understand one perspective.

[cybele]

Cybele:

I don't know if one of the reasons why you are no longer together has anything to do with your aforementioned refusals to expand your sexual behavior menu.

I know for most people, it takes a tremendous amount of courage (at least initially) to post here, and I appreciate that difficult self-revealing statement.

I am wondering if you might a have a bit more courage to state if your sexual reticence did have an effect on your break up, and if so, how much of an effect?

This kind of information, coming directly from a woman (in her own words, not a man's rendition thereof) , may be helpful to other people who are suffering from the same issues.

Iha,

Your first sentence was a doozy there. Ahem. Please, feel free not to hold back.

Looking back on it now, it's very very ironic that I felt that way.

I was just hoping to lend some insight.

From what I've realized in my short time on this site is that we're usually not alone in our experiences or thoughts - it's just that most people and places frown on the discussion. I'm finding it a relief. Even though I don't respond to a lot of posts, it's amazing the amount of comments people post that I can agree with or at least understand, never mind the quantity and quality of information.

That said, it's not like I went into my marriage, inexperienced. Just something happened during it. Maybe it was a combination of things, like he'd be trying, almost too hard, to please me. Again, I figured that if I touched myself, or had him touch me in like manner, then he'd think I wasn't attracted to him. Other parts of the bad combination was me being tense about responding to him, being exhausted from having three babies under four years old, and the subsequent body image from those babies. But as soon as I got more comfortable, so did our sex life.

Heads up now folks. Leap of faith coming at you (as I literally shake while I type this):

I loved him. We were married 23 years. It's taking me two years to try to learn not to. I still love him, but not in the same realm. It hasn't been easy. It wasn't a slow disintegration like some marriage ends. It was abrupt because I didn't know that he was such a good actor. And to answer your anticipated future question: No, I had no idea. Like I said, I wasn't inexperienced going into the marriage. What's funny is that you wrote, "has anything to do with your aforementioned refusals to expand your sexual behavior menu." Not likely. Two years ago, he sat me down in the kitchen and told me he was gay.

Now y'all know why I'm getting my degree in writing. It's not a "blame game" or "poor me" book. It's been outstanding therapy about taking what life throws at me and two other women I know (one emotionally abused, one emotionally and physically abused) and just dealing with it - making conscious decisions to do no harm, and coming out the better from it.

Well, iha... you asked

[vanilla_bean]

Hey Cybele

You've been through a lot * hugs*

Thanks for sharing your experiences. It takes a lot of courage.

[Amylynn920]

Cyb, thank you for sharing that, I'm sure you've helped others by doing that. And yes you have been through alot. ((hugs))

[cybele]

Vanilla and Aiden,

Thank you for responding.

Perhaps that was more information than what iha or anyone else out there was looking for? It just kind seemed like the most honest response.

The anonymity of this site allows me to be that honest. Most of my friends and co-workers, as well as several relatives have no idea why my "Ward and June Cleaver marriage" dissolved, quickly.

Just to let you know, my husband (not divorced yet) and I continue to have a caring friendship. I've met his SO and he is very nice (I wouldn't have expected less.)

I know that this is what prompted my "being frozen" for two years that I shared earlier. I'm just glad to be on the other side of it now.

Thanks again for your hugs.

[its1013]

any time IHA. bring your most rare Stones CD and we'll take it from there! ha,ha.

[cmwise1]

Now y'all know why I'm getting my degree in writing. It's not a "blame game" or "poor me" book. It's been outstanding therapy about taking what life throws at me and two other women I know (one emotionally abused, one emotionally and physically abused) and just dealing with it - making conscious decisions to do no harm, and coming out the better from it.

Cybele, you stay strong and know we are here to support you. <BIG HUG>

[ladylove]

Thats what I keep telling her! =S Next time it comes up ill stress to her about how important it is again and let her know I know an older woman who agrees =]

OLDER WOMEN HUH? God I never thought of myself as an older women. That was always some one older than me ....... Guess I better wake up smell the coffee

good luck with your sister, I hope she will understand eventually

[tootimidtoo]

Eddy,

I'm not speaking for all women of course, but only from my own experience. I went through a time when I thought that maturbating or touching myself (especially while I was engaged in foreplay or sex with him,) was kind of taboo since I was married. I even thought it was wrong if he touched me in ways that I might. I figured that he would think that I wasn't satisfied with him or with "traditional" sex. It went on like this until one evening, when we were very relaxed and he started talking about it. We aren't together anymore, but I've overcome those ideas.

Don't know if it will help, but just trying to let you understand one perspective.

I have to agree with Cybele here. I have been with my one and only for nearly 12 years and am just recently even touching myself during sex and feel "wrong" doing so. I feel like he will think he is not doing it "right". We do not talk about self masturbating at all. He just recently (I am talking 2 days ago) even admitted to me he on "occaision" masturbates. I know he does/has due to evidence, and one time when we were first married I saw him (though he to this day has no idea). Looking back at it now I think it turned me on, though at the time felt like I wasn't pleasuring him enough. I know he would have been mortified had he known. He does not know that I masturbate on occaision, and I am not sure how he would take it. I still feel ashamed of it at this point, though I am trying to be more comfortable with my sexuality.

This site is a real eye opener. I am very glad to have come across it, and hope to be as open as a lot of you with my hubby in the future.

[Valntyn]

tootimidtoo, have you thought of having a mutual masturbation night with your husband? The next time you're "settling in" to have sex together, give him a wry grin, shake your head, push him onto his back, place his hand on his penis, lay next to him on your side, nibble his ear, and start moaning against him as you pleasure yourself.

I love when we have mutual masturbation sessions -- I just love watching my husband please himself -- it gets me right worked up!

[Guest eminatic]

ive only just recently started masturbating (im 20) and it was AFTER i started having sex (at 19) my bf kept telling me i needed to but the thought of it grossed me out so he bought me my first toy so that i wouldnt have to touch it with my bare hands.

i have alot of toys now but i dont really use them on my own...they are more for him because he likes to use them with me.

oh and i still cant touch it with my bare hands

[sun_flower969]

I have to agree with Cybele here. I have been with my one and only for nearly 12 years and am just recently even touching myself during sex and feel "wrong" doing so. I feel like he will think he is not doing it "right"....

I still feel ashamed of it at this point, though I am trying to be more comfortable with my sexuality.

This site is a real eye opener. I am very glad to have come across it, and hope to be as open as a lot of you with my hubby in the future.

Hey I felt the same way! I would never touch myself while we were having sex. HE encouraged me to do it! In fact it is a huge turn on for him! It took me YEARS to finally try it! Now I am multi orgasmic! No joke! If you want to be fulfilled you have to get some clitoral stim in there one way or another. His penis will work together with your stimulating your clit! I swear the first couple times I did it I felt like I had been missing out on real sex all these years! I had never had an orgasm during intercourse, NEVER! Now I have several at a time! Even w/o touching myself! But you have to "wake it up" within yourself so to speak! YOU deserve to feel this, it is something your body is made to do. There is nothing wrong with it!!! I hope you have a success story soon

[mailahn97]

I led a very shy and sheltered life for quite a bit of yesrs til 6 months ago. I have leaned a lot of things since then. He I think was a little shocked when he asked if I masturbated and I told him now. We kept talking about it here and there. Finally I guess a couple of weeks ago I started useing my toys on my self and it felt good. I have since been doing it more and loving it. Now I can even give myself a gspot O and love every minute of it. The next hurdle that I want to work on is I would love to do it in front of him. I can't wait to try and overcome that. I have sent him a video of me doing it last week. I thought that would help me break the ice some as then he has seen me do it without being directly there.

Now I am like why have I been waiting all these damn years and missing out.

[vanilla_bean]

Now I am like why have I been waiting all these damn years and missing out.

*sigh* story of my life!