All Messed Up

[brandyfan411]

Ugh, I know this is my third post in this section but I'm totally messed up. After me trying my second time (remember me shaking into my failure?), I can't get anywhere. I'm not feeling rushed, I'm totally relaxed but nothing's working. I tried again this morning and got nowhere. I tried different positions, I tried thinking about different senarios, I even tried looking at magazines. Ugh, I even think I'm PMSing now. This has been a nightmare.

Oh, and I'm still shaking .

I really don't think this is going to work for me.

[Mikayla1]

Calm down....you are concentrating WAY too much about this - and that is your biggest enemy!

You said you live in a home with your parents, your mother is very ANTI-toy, you have to be quiet and you are going at this like it is a homework assignment. This is not the environment for good masturbation.

You need to truly relax - your muscle spasms in your leg tell me that you are sub-consciously straining yourself. This is stressful on the body whether you realize it or not.

My suggestion - take a long, hot bath. Soak and relax. Find time for YOU without the P's around. Use your toys, be NAKED, relax, light candles and seduce yourself. Take your time - do what feels good. Start and stop. Tease yourself. Take your time. Breathe....it will happen. Just R E L A X !!!!

[brandyfan411]

I guess I over analyze things without realizing it. Things at home have been hectic and I FEEL relaxed while I'm doing this, at least I think I am. I mean, in the mornings no one is up since it's the holidays so it's the perfect time to do it. Am I just wanting this too much?

Maybe a long bath is what I need. I'm not sure if my toy is water-proof or not. I'll have to find out because I can't remember. But still, a hot bath does sound nice.

[pappyld04]

It really sounds as though you are beating yourself to death over this. Relax is easy to say and many times we think we are but our brain is defeating it. Are you getting the same reaction with your fingers? Are you completely warm and comfortable? Is the door lockable? There are a million things that we cannot see that may be distracting you here. They say the mind is a terrible thing to waste but in your case the mind may be a terrible thing!! If you see my point!

[brandyfan411]

To pappyld04: I always get the same reaction from my fingers....nothing. My fingers do nothing for me...ever. The only thing that works is high vibration. Why? I dunno, it's just that way. Plus, I always lock my door. I couldn't bare the thought of my parents walking in and seeing me vibing away.

The thing is, I dont have anything that would be distracting to me. I honestly feel relaxed!! I don't have any mental blocks or anything. Plus I'm eating before hand. I don't know what could be going on.

I'm going to my mother's ob/gyn soon. I've been keeping a track on my period and it's out of whack too. I've started again for the second time this month and that's not right at all (it's only been a week and three days since my last period!!). Maybe something's underlying and I don't realize it? I mean, my period's screwed up, masturbation is [extremely] wierd, and I have NO feeling on my right side AT ALL. Something has to be going on.

I can't be crazy.....something's going on.

[ToyQueen]

Wait a minute---you have no feeling on your right side?!? The right side of your whole body, or what???

[brandyfan411]

I have no feeling on the right side of my vagina. I don't think I've posted in this thread about what happened but I've told everyone that I hit myself REALLY hard when I was younger. It was so bad I was bleeding (alot). I couldn't pee for like a day and a half. But I must've hit that side because that's where the blood was coming from.

When I orgasmed that first time, I felt it more on my left side than my right. I didn't real care because it was still nice but I'm just saying. I'm thinking about it now because I'm not gettin' anything on that side. I mean, if I rub the vibe on that side, I should be able to feel it.

[Tyger]

Wow! Lots going on here.

You may very well have damaged the nerves on the right side, when you hurt yourself. Sometimes feelings come back, sometimes they don't. Your doctor should have been following up with you on that, and making sure you were healing correctly, or, let you and your mother know that this sort of damage is possible, and what to watch out for. I would definitely go see an OB/GYN soon, tell him/her ALL of your concerns (trust me, they've heard it all and that doctor HAS to keep what you tell them confidential by law), and possibly see if there's permanent nerve damage not only to your vaginal area, but possibly the clit as well. If you've been able to orgasm before, and have feeling in your clit, then it's probably not damaged (or at the very least, only slightly damaged). I'm not a medical professional by any means, but it's something to discuss with your Dr. about.

As far as your difficulty with orgasming, it does sound like you're over-thinking & rushing into it. These things can not be over-thought and you CAN try TOO hard to reach your goal. The mind is the best, and worst thing when having an orgasm. If you lay down and think "OK I am GOING to orgasm, damnit!!", chances are, you won't. Especially if you're not sure exactly how to do it yet. Plus, if you're getting overly frustrated with yourself, your dooming yourself even before you start. Relaxing really is the key. Not just with the possible outside interuptions, which you've seemed to conquer pretty well, but the interuptions in your head are equally important to calm.

Each woman is different. I am like you, I can finger myself til the cows come home, and nothing. Give me my clit stimulating bullet, and I am to da moon baby!! Sometimes I enjoy a nice, fat vibe/dildo to give me that full feeling with the clit stimulation.

You said that you're using a vibrator? Are you giving A LOT of stimulation to your clit? 85% of women need clit stimulation (I personally think it's even more than that) to get off, so be sure to give your clit stimulation. It's your job to figure out what kind, and how strong, your clit needs to be stimulated. I need direct stimulation, with a strong vibe.

Good luck!

[brandyfan411]

Ok, I've found a numbered photo that may help me explain my situation a bit better. Please view:

Ok, this is me except you're not facing me, you're facing AWAY from me.

If I take my vibe (which yes I give alot of stimulation. If I don't.....well lets just say I'd have a better chance using my finger) and lay it on my RIGHT side, between my "labia majora #5" and "labia menora #4", I get no sensation. I would get the exact opposite on my left. Also, if I go up to my "clitoral hood #2" and put my vibe on the RIGHT side, I don't feel really anything at all. Now if I did this on the left side, the sensation is very powerful (make your toes curl powerful).

I do not have a bullet yet; I have a vibrator. It's mulitspeed and it only works on the high speeds for me (low speed does NOTHING).

And Howard, if I said that I thought of nothing, I meant that I wasn't thinking about stressful things. Of course I'm thinking of something lol, I'm not an airhead. I'm usually thinking of my sexy men in my magazines (they are usually out when I'm doing this lol). I haven't tried music though...maybe I should give this a try. I just never tried it in case someone came knocking on my door and needed to get in. I would hate not to hear it and they break in thinking I'm hurt or something.

I'm having fun trying but not getting anywhere can get kind of old quickly if you know what I mean. It's no different than having a husband/wife who can't get you going. If he/she sucks at it then you just kind of sit (or lay) there wondering when this ish is gonna get crackin' ROFL. If it goes nowhere, you're stuck wanting more but they can't give it to you. Wouldn't go get upset if you were honry and you couldn't get anywhere?