Keeping Your Man Wanting More

[HappilyMarried2]

Ok People, help! I have been reading over this site now, and more understand it. I need help. I want my hubby coming back for more, and I want him so hot and bothered before we get in bed. How do I do this? He is 39 and I am 32. We are not old, but it feels that way. We have only been married going on 4 years, and the sex is "norm" now. For a long time, we had multiple encounters within hours, now he is good for a day if not days. His excitement is gone once he cums. Mine however, has just started. It seems like I can go for days on end without sex, but once I have it, it seems that a sex fest would be great! The more I get it, the more I want. He is always good at pleasing me if he can't go again, but I want him to be just as excited, not like he is doing a chore by keeping me happy. How do I keep him turned on and begging for more???? I don't want to be unfulfilled, and I don't want him finding someone that makes him feel more sexual, what are you thoughts?

[Mikayla1]

Sex will not always stay the same once you are in a relationship for a long time...things get familiar, people get busy, stress happens. I particularly know that with my hubby when he is stressed at work, worried about money, or anything else, there is a decrease in his sexual desire. It is unfortunate, but it happens. It then falls on us as women to make them, or help them, turn their attention back to sex. Sometimes it will work, sometimes it won't. Sometimes life just takes precedence over sex.

Also, not everyone's sex drive is the same. Unfortunately whoever created man and woman made it so that at we get older (women) our sex drives get more intense, but as men get older it kind of weans for them a little. this doesn;t always happen...so before I get 100 posts from angry men telling me they are 90 and still horny....but it does on average happen that way. This could be the case with your man.

Now, if you want to know how to keep him coming back for more...make sex as hot as you possibly can...make every experience with him memorable and super enjoyable for both of you. Make sure you are giving him the best head he has had in years....moan, groan...tell him how much you want him. Make him feel like you really want him. He will in turn want to give you more. Give him tidbits of what you may want to do later....don't let him cum until you have gotten at least most of what you want. Play the dom role so he has to do what you say. Push his face into your pussy and make him eat you until you are satisfied. Maybe a new side of you is what he needs to see.

I think that if you use your imagination, something will spark his interest at one point or another. If not, if you love him you will give him some space, then you may have to get a vibrator. Perhaps if he hears the humming from the other room he will be more inclined to join in!

Just suggestions!

Mikayla

[HappilyMarried2]

Sex will not always stay the same once you are in a relationship for a long time...things get familiar, people get busy, stress happens.  I particularly know that with my hubby when he is stressed at work, worried about money, or anything else, there is a decrease in his sexual desire.  It is unfortunate, but it happens. It then falls on us as women to make them, or help them, turn their attention back to sex.  Sometimes it will work, sometimes it won't.  Sometimes life just takes precedence over sex.

Also, not everyone's sex drive is the same.  Unfortunately whoever created man and woman made it so that at we get older (women) our sex drives get more intense, but as men get older it kind of weans for them a little.  this doesn;t always happen...so before I get 100 posts from angry men telling me they are 90 and still horny....but it does on average happen that way.  This could be the case with your man.

Now, if you want to know how to keep him coming back for more...make sex as hot as you possibly can...make every experience with him memorable and super enjoyable for both of you.  Make sure you are giving him the best head he has had in years....moan, groan...tell him how much you want him.  Make him feel like you really want him.  He will in turn want to give you more.  Give him tidbits of what you may want to do later....don't let him cum until you have gotten at least most of what you want.  Play the dom role so he has to do what you say.  Push his face into your pussy and make him eat you until you are satisfied.  Maybe a new side of you is what he needs to see.

I think that if you use your imagination, something will spark his interest at one point or another.  If not, if  you love him you will give him some space, then you may have to get a vibrator.  Perhaps if he hears the humming from the other room he will be more inclined to join in!

Just suggestions!

Mikayla

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good thoughts! Tge thing is, he was always the sex freak, lol. It comes and goes with me, and unfortunately, it is here now, lol. I know the mental part of it all, what I don't know is what new to try. I hate to get graphic on here, but being as close to a natural blonde as I can be, I am afraid I might need someone giving me step by steps on how to rock his world... I have tried all my imagination knows, I need more input, haha... HELP again!~

[The_Shootist]

Also, not everyone's sex drive is the same.  Unfortunately whoever created man and woman made it so that at we get older (women) our sex drives get more intense, but as men get older it kind of weans for them a little.  this doesn;t always happen...so before I get 100 posts from angry men telling me they are 90 and still horny....but it does on average happen that way.  This could be the case with your man.

Now, if you want to know how to keep him coming back for more...make sex as hot as you possibly can...make every experience with him memorable and super enjoyable for both of you.  Make sure you are giving him the best head he has had in years....moan, groan...tell him how much you want him.  Make him feel like you really want him.  He will in turn want to give you more.  Give him tidbits of what you may want to do later....don't let him cum until you have gotten at least most of what you want.  Play the dom role so he has to do what you say.  Push his face into your pussy and make him eat you until you are satisfied.  Maybe a new side of you is what he needs to see.

Mikayla

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

As a middle-aged guy I can tell you that one of the first things to go is the plumbing , combine that with a little blood pressure medicine and the beginnings of benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and the ability to have good sex drops precipitously. The drugs they use to treat BPH can also cause erectile dysfunction . Add this to the STRESS of not being able to perform as you once did and it only gets worse.

The little blue pill, relaxation, hot showers and soaking in a bath or hot tub, a (very) small amount of alcohol, visual, audio, olfactory and tactile sensations can really help . If he can stand it, a little cannabis can go a long way in helping "to catch a nut". Timing is everything and full arousal while completly relaxed with no worries about performance will have great effect

It's damned embarrassing not being able to perform and the fear of not performing will keep a man in the showers.

[HappilyMarried2]

As a middle-aged guy I can tell you that one of the first things to go is the plumbing  ,  combine that with a little blood pressure medicine and the beginnings of benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and the ability to have good sex drops  precipitously. The drugs they use to treat BPH can also cause erectile dysfunction  . Add this to the STRESS of not being able to perform as you once did and it only gets worse. 

The little blue pill, relaxation, hot showers and soaking in a bath or hot tub, a (very) small amount of alcohol, visual, audio, olfactory and tactile sensations can really help  . If he can stand it, a little cannabis can go a long way in helping "to catch a nut". Timing is everything and full arousal while completly relaxed with no worries about performance will have great effect

It's damned embarrassing not being able to perform and the fear of not performing will keep a man in the showers.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I REALLY appreciate that reply from a man. I do understand what you have said, that is EXACTLY why I came to this site and didn't talk more to him about it. I don't want him feeling inadequate. What I wish you guys could understand more is US LADIES! How could you feel inadequate is my hard misunderstanding. If my husband wasn't so dagone GREAT in bed, I wouldn't want the seconds, now would I? If he were just ok, once would be enough. In my mine he keeps me so sexually turned on and wanting more of what wonderful sex he just gave me, but as I see ... in his mind he is failing me.... All the sounds great, but I feel NO FAILURE from him what so ever.. make sense?

[cmt]

HM2...

you are telling my story to a tee. It will get better agian tho, it did for us. and my hubby feels the same way, he is forever tellign me I am awesome and all, but he feels inadequate. and he is far from it. but I do know he hesitites to have sex because of feeling that way. you just have to intice him and make him want you !!

[phoenix]

I REALLY appreciate that reply from a man.  I do understand what you have said, that is EXACTLY why I came to this site and didn't talk more to him about it.  I don't want him feeling inadequate.  What I wish you guys could understand more is US LADIES!  How could you feel inadequate is my hard misunderstanding.  If my husband wasn't so dagone GREAT in bed, I wouldn't want the seconds, now would I?  If he were just ok, once would be enough.  In my mine he keeps me so sexually turned on and wanting more of what wonderful sex he just gave me, but as I see ... in his mind he is failing me....  All the sounds great, but I feel NO FAILURE from him what so ever.. make sense?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Some of the problem may stem from the fact that you want more. Think of it his way when you go to a restaurant and order a meal you get your food eat it and it is good but there’s just not enough of it there. Don’t you feel cheated?

It's the same with sex. He probably knows you enjoy what he gives to you but he also knows you still want more so that means he's not giving you enough because he can’t not because he doesn't want to. Do you see how that could make a guy feel bad?

As for things that may turn him on I personally like catching someone masturbating. Just pretend he isn’t there until he touches you if he gets home at a set time start before he gets there and just push your self to the edge waiting for him. This will also help you to be more satisfied even if your actual lovemaking is short. If that doesn’t turn him on he will probably just sneak back out and wait for you to finish and pretend it never happened.

[HappilyMarried2]

Some of the problem may stem from the fact that you want more.  Think of it his way when you go to a restaurant and order a meal you get your food eat it and it is good but there’s just not enough of it there.  Don’t you feel cheated? 

It's the same with sex.  He probably knows you enjoy what he gives to you but he also knows you still want more so that means he's not giving you enough because he can’t not because he doesn't want to.  Do you see how that could make a guy feel bad? 

As for things that may turn him on I personally like catching someone masturbating.  Just pretend he isn’t there until he touches you if he gets home at a set time start before he gets there and just push your self to the edge waiting for him.  This will also help you to be more satisfied even if your actual lovemaking is short. If that doesn’t turn him on he will probably just sneak back out and wait for you to finish and pretend it never happened.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks so much for those thoughts. I have a question for you. I understand the resteraunt theory, but... if I were at a resteraunt and I wasn't satisfied, I would order more. Why does my husband order the "all you can eats" when we go out? To possibly be satisfied? I understand that it is easier for a woman to go for rounds, we don't have to get hard... I understand that. However, if a man can't last forever, then perhaps he should hold himself off for a while, and not be so quick to feel "complete". I think after much thinking and studying replies on here, I have come to this conclusion. I have given hubby many quickies when he had to run off to work, or came home on lunch, or when he woke up in the night horny, even tho I get up at 5 a.m. every day to get kids ready for school and keep my 2yo through the day, and then work part time out of my home. With a job and 4 kids, I am tired quite frequently. Having said that... on a day off or weekend and we start with the sex, when I want more I think he should go to the ends of the earth to give me more, just as I oblige' him whenever he has desires. I didn't say needs, because his balls wont fall off after missing one night of sex, so I would call that desires rather. Why are womens feelings any less important?

I have had private messeges and then some on posts stating that I may be making my husband feel inadequate, but how should I feel any different or less important. What everyone needs to understand is that it is NOT just a womans job to please her man. If a man seriously wants to keep his woman he better step up to the plate and let his gaurd down some too. Let me put it this way. I would be afraid to deny my husband TOO many times with the "quickies". He may look somewhere else. I am not like some of these people who say "if he really loves you, he wont stray".. that is not true. Many couples have one or both that stray KNOWING right away they were wrong. Hey, look in the bible.... adultry was even happening then when Jesus was around the corner! I don't EVER count on love keeping my man happy. Why do men feel differently? I think it is master manipulation for a man to immediately reply to a woman who has just made it clear that she is ready for more, for him to say "Oh how inadequate I feel". He can eat some more, touch more, anything...if he gets aroused GREAT, if not there are MANY ways to have seconds, correct?

HM2

[Dingbat]

My husband just flat sux in bed, he can never go more then a few minutes and if by some chance he can it is because he is hammered and his erection goes away before either of us climax.

I do not help matters because I get pissy with him and act like a bitch about it but dangit! I am sick of bad sex. I have read the above posts in hopes to find some relevant info to help me help him. I think the only thing I can do is be more patient with him or slip him some xanax with his meal?

I am pretty uptight and conservitive and as I sit and reread this I am beginning to realize the problem is more mine then his, frankly i dont think i would want to have sex with me either, Any tips for loosing the conservitive bedroom play?

[Dingbat]

Dingbat: Buy the sex ed videos, from the store here, and buy books on sex. Tantric sex is a wonderful approach to the whole issue. Watch the videos with your husband. He needs to get educated too. And, insist that he does. This is not being bitchy, but just looking out for yourself. You have a right to be pleasured by your mate, and he should want to listen to you tell him how to do that, and accept instructions from you. He can also learn how to control his climax, and if he still comes very fast the first time, just take it as a compliment, and work him back up for a second erection and then make love. This idea that we fail because we get too excited- What is that? And Where is that coming from?  Aren't we suppose to get escited with our lover?  Are we at the races? Is there some maximum time allowed to climax in , and who dishes out the penalties points?  The two of you need to get an education, and then relax. Sex is suppose to be fun( A truly novel suggetion here in America, I know) and the time you play with each other should be filled with laughter, and tickling and feeling and lots of orgasms. Stop making it WORK.  And tell him to knock off the booze. One small drink or shot is the most anyone needs to loosen up. More than that and it becomes a performance inhibitor. Why would a man have to get drunk to make love to his lover?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you for that Howard. I am going to check out the videos APAS. I really enjoy this sight and reading all of the posts. I have learned more in the last 3 days about sex then I ever did in 8 yrs of marraige and 1 full semester of sex ed with Sister Rosemary. Maybe that was my problem all along, Sex Ed with a nun! lol.

[HappilyMarried2]

Thank you for that Howard. I am going to check out the videos APAS. I really enjoy this sight and reading all of the posts. I have learned more in the last 3 days about sex then I ever did in 8 yrs of marraige and 1 full semester of sex ed with Sister Rosemary. Maybe that was my problem all along, Sex Ed with a nun! lol.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dingbat,

I have never "got pissy" with hubby in the bedroom, I just clam up. Then when we have had a few drinks and our guard is down a bit, I try to talk about it. I still after reading all the posts, don't get why it is the womans job to make this thing work? So what if we get pissy? So what if we appear the biggest bitch out here? Is it any different when the personna of men is "if I don't get it from you, I'll get it someplace?" How many times you see on talk shows or hear of your friends who have been married for years, that the man cheats and his explanation is "I have needs and she wasn't meeting them". So then the WOMAN gets the talk about why she didn't please him in bed.... on the reverse, when the woman goes outside of the relationship trying to have her needs met, she is a scumbag, trailor trash whore?

We as women have needs as well. Just as the mens testes and penis WILL NOT fall off without sex, our clits will stay in tact too, however, We have the very same needs!

I have a question for Howard, or any other man who will answer honestly. Why is it that my hubby thinks he is f-n superman when he makes me cum 6 times in one night by oral stimulation, but he can't understand that I might get turned on by multiples from him? He is also a 2 second man, as far as cumming. He has to stop after every 3 or 4 pumps to make our "activity" last 30 minutes to an hour. But if it were straight pumping, he would go in seconds. Also answer me this. This site and many others as well as therapists are out here for people to get help and answers and MUCHO knowledge. I get sick of trying to find help for our relationship when it is out there for him to read too. By God he doesn't miss buying his Sunday paper, so it certainly isn't about reading! Going back to the question, men or he does, feel macho and feels like I am sexually turned onto him big time by being able to cum more than once, why can't the men understand we feel the same? It is almost like you feel like you really do still have whatever you had in the beginning. Now I feel like I could cut a hole in a melon, blind fold him, and getting off would be the same. I don't know....

ANY MORE THOUGHTS?

HM2

[crazy1]

HM, I know what you mean, I understand the question, and will do my best to answer it satisfactorily.

My wife asks me on occasion for a round 2 or even 3 on some nights like when we were first married. Well sometimes I can oblige her, and others I can't. On the times I can, I will say this: there is not alot I have to think about in the near future(i.e. work, school, kids, ect.), she is doing her absolute best for another round(oral, dirty talk, kissing, fondleing, ect.) and something has to be different than the first go 'round. Most men like visual stimulation and variety. So if the first time you do it doggy, let him try something different. Most men find missionary totally lame for the round 2 entertianment. Other than that, some days or nights have been too exhausting, stressful, painful, or just irritating to do it again. I don't mean to make it sound like a chore, but after the first time testosterone drops, and erections are harder to maintain. Hence the need for more "exciting stimuli". Heck, if I am totally unwilling, if she starts blowing me, there WILL BE a round 2. I have a close personal friend who is married. His wife loves to see him ejaculate, it hurns her on so much she is immediately ready for round 2, but he has just spent the last 30 or so minutes pumping away, he gets a bit tired. I guess what I am saying is that I understand that women want to see men's mulitpules. But she knows what really turns him on, almost on an animal level, and uses it to get more from him. They are also newly weds so that might help too. Now, I would say that you need to find what he really likes, and use it to your advantage, if he just rolls over and tries to go to sleep, get out the vibe and start working his bum with it. Wait a couple of minutes and start sucking him like you are gonna find Hoffa in his dong. That is the best advice on how to get your man "up" for a repeat performance.

Now as to the other question, it is horribly unfair(and I really mean this as proved by my presence on this forum) that men should have no obligation to bettering them selves sexually for thier partners. I say it is a duty that all men have to expand thier knowledge to ensure that their (in my ideal world) spouse get as much joy and gratification from love making that men do. However, men as a gender are shallow. Not each man has the ideas of sex that I carry. I know some very good men, who are reserved and deeply religious that have given me the best sex advice of my life. 1.) A man is like a microwave, women are like ovens. Take the time to preheat if you want it to work properly and not give out on you. 2.) Women are entitled to the same sexual experience as men, DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO! 3.) It's okay to leave the lights on. I spent most of my adolesence trying to help my guy friends be better lovers, even though I was abstaining from sex. I felt that all men have the duty to be as wise and educated on sex as possible. For each of my brothers/close friends weddings I attend, there is a special gift we prepare for them all. The Crate. In it, we mostly put items for fun or sillyness like barbeque sauce, or hot sauce, cherries, bananas, cucumbers, riding crops, cowboy outfits, Hammers(to nail it, get it), reddie whip, and things like that. Now we take it and saran wrap it to the top of the car and let everyone look at it. However, in the bottom there are the essentials for good sex, some lube(usually astroglide, or KY(when they came out with warming we added that), a nice small beginners vibe, a blindfold, cockring, and maybe one or two other items. Sometimes even a book on postitions and so on. So in summary(sorry I feel like I have written a paper here) I say that it is not just one sex's responsibility to learn about how to please themselves or their partner. Each person in a realtionship has the DUTY to seek continuing education on the almost limitless possibilities of pleasure.

BTW the attitude of "If you don't, I will go somewhere else" is just flat lame. No one should ever use it. That is so petty. If someone does use it, bye. All that tells me is that you are needing sex, not any other facet of my companionship, and therefore don't really need me. Tell him/her that if they really need to just get off, then they have missed the point of sex as a whole. It is not just for some physical pleasure, but to bring exquisite feelings of pleasure, happiness, and ecstacy to your partner FIRST and then your self when she urges you on(as I see it from a MAN's perspective). So if your husband ever gives you the line about going somewhere else, just remind him that locks can be changed and personal effects sold on ebay. Just for kicks you can remind him that Lorana Bobbitt is your 2nd cousin!

If I failed to answer you satisfactorily, let me know.

Crazy1

[crazy1]

sorry for the above novel, it is a very good subject and one that I take VERY SERIOUSLY. As if you didn't notice.......again, sorry everyone.

[rcmit]

ANY MORE THOUGHTS?

HM2

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

HM2: As others have pointed out in this thread, it's a lot harder for a man to orgasm multiple time than it is for a woman. Also quite a bit depends on age, health, stress, and the fear of not being able to perform. I'm not making excuses, but there's lots to consider. Make sure that you husband's health is ok and try to determine if he's stressed - even if he's worried that he may not rise to the task.

Being middle-aged as I am (ok, maybe a bit more!) it can be very frustrating not to be able to get an erection even when there's a beautiful naked woman wanting you. My girlfriend is 14 years youger than I and, fortunately for me, is very patient. While we have sex at least 3 or 4 times a week (we live far apart), most times I can only cum twice. But, since I really want to please her, I'll make her cum a few more times until I'm ready again. Most times just seeing her cum, and the smell of sex in the bedroom (or where ever) is enough to get me ready again. But sometimes it's not. After you husband cums, continue the sex talk, get a sexy DVD playing, talk dirty to him, surprise him, shock him!

As far as ejaculating too fast, well HE has to work on that. There's plenty written on how to make it take longer, and there are desensitizing creams that he can use.

Maintaing an active sex life isn't easy, but it's definitley worth the effort. Good luck!

[subboy]

Thank you for that Howard. I am going to check out the videos APAS. I really enjoy this sight and reading all of the posts. I have learned more in the last 3 days about sex then I ever did in 8 yrs of marraige and 1 full semester of sex ed with Sister Rosemary. Maybe that was my problem all along, Sex Ed with a nun! lol.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi HM2,

I'm in my mid-40's and have been married almost 20 years. I'm in good shape(work out 5-6 times a week). However, I'm still 45 and on some blood pressure medicine. I'm not overweight and can see my cock when standing up. Some guys can't.

My point is that I too am good for only one go. However, I know this and I give my wife oral for as long as she wants(at least a half hour sometimes 1.5 hours) not consecutively. I also give her full massages and love playing with her ass(rubbing and licking). When I do fuck her, she usually cums again and depending on the position, I last long(behind or her on top). I cum quickly when it is regular missionary. So try different positions.

Also, as for him going more than once, do you give him oral after he's cum? DO you give him a handjob? What do you do to get him hard again? If you just lie there and say come on I'm horny, he probably won't be able to get it up. Or you can push his head down and make him go down on you after just fucking you and tell him that when he can get it up he won't have to eat your creampie. If this gets him hard, you might be on to something.

[Something New]

Dingbat,

I have never "got pissy" with hubby in the bedroom, I just clam up. Then when we have had a few drinks and our guard is down a bit, I try to talk about it. I still after reading all the posts, don't get why it is the womans job to make this thing work? So what if we get pissy? So what if we appear the biggest bitch out here? Is it any different when the personna of men is "if I don't get it from you, I'll get it someplace?" How many times you see on talk shows or hear of your friends who have been married for years, that the man cheats and his explanation is "I have needs and she wasn't meeting them". So then the WOMAN gets the talk about why she didn't please him in bed.... on the reverse, when the woman goes outside of the relationship trying to have her needs met, she is a scumbag, trailor trash whore?

We as women have needs as well. Just as the mens testes and penis WILL NOT fall off without sex, our clits will stay in tact too, however, We have the very same needs!

I have a question for Howard, or any other man who will answer honestly. Why is it that my hubby thinks he is f-n superman when he makes me cum 6 times in one night by oral stimulation, but he can't understand that I might get turned on by multiples from him? He is also a 2 second man, as far as cumming. He has to stop after every 3 or 4 pumps to make our "activity" last 30 minutes to an hour. But if it were straight pumping, he would go in seconds. Also answer me this. This site and many others as well as therapists are out here for people to get help and answers and MUCHO knowledge. I get sick of trying to find help for our relationship when it is out there for him to read too. By God he doesn't miss buying his Sunday paper, so it certainly isn't about reading! Going back to the question, men or he does, feel macho and feels like I am sexually turned onto him big time by being able to cum more than once, why can't the men understand we feel the same? It is almost like you feel like you really do still have whatever you had in the beginning. Now I feel like I could cut a hole in a melon, blind fold him, and getting off would be the same. I don't know....

ANY MORE THOUGHTS?

HM2

I definately understand your pain...I have the same issue, except I don't even get to orgasm. My husband goes long enough for him to cum, after that its all over! So I am left with nothing, but a lot of frusteration...I am contemplating getting a toy to help myself

[Something New]

I cannot repeat this often enough: Love making is not about you; its about pleasuring your lover. Both partners have to have equal concern with their lover's pleasure, listen to direction, ask for instruction, practice, laugh when they fail, do it again when they do it right! , and communicate, comunicate with their partner to learn how to pleasure each other. If your husband is not pleasuring you, you have to tell him. Talk to him away from bed, or wherever else you make love. He needs to know what you like, want, fantasize about trying, and vice versa. Most couples don't do this well; I would venture to say most couples never do this at all- TALK ABOUT SEX! Both are afraid of what they don't know, ashamed that they don't know much, or anything, and mostly are afraid of being laughed at. That is why this website was created- to allow timid people to come on a neutral location to ask hard questions, and to learn answers. But, Sex is a participatory sport that requires more than a mouse! At some point you have to turn off the computer, and get down to business with a real person for a sex parther.

I also believe all women should own at least two toys, just in case one of them breaks down! I am talking vibrators, both the massagers, and penetrators, dildoes, butt plugs, whatever. Women need these to teach themselves what pleasures them. Not everything can be learned with your hand and fingers. And, with the quality of toys now available, there is no reason for any woman not to pleasure herself any time she wants. Women need to introduce their men to that fact of life. Men should never be jealous of or fear toys. They suppliment an active love life, and do not replace the man. If a woman can have orgasms anytime she wants one with her vibrator or other toys, she will be thinking sexy thoughts, and will be fired up for sex with her honey when he is available. That, of course, assumes that there is a healthy respect and love between the two. Toys should be used to expand your sex life with your partner, too. Just read some of Mikayla's toy reviews, or some of her answers to questions from readers to see how much toys have expanded the variety of the sex life she shares with her husband. That is a couple who never worries about being " bored ", with sex.

Great sex begins with a proper mind set. Then it takes work. But it always has to be fun, and if you aren't laughing when you are not kissing, or climaxing, something you are doing is wrong. A laughing orgasm is one of the most intense, and stress relieving thing you can experience, male or female. . But make sex fun before all else. If you will read the recently posted introduction to the new post on B&D that Mikayla has written, she stresses that even in SMBD the parties should be having fun.

Guys need to go to work to become better lovers. That means you have to get instruction- by reading books, or watching videos/dvds, and by talking and listening to your wife or lover. If you are hitting a brick wall, talk to us. We can help you understand what you are not doing right, and help you understand how to correct the technique so that you have success. But, without a commitment to improve your love making techniques, you can and will go nowhere. Women also need to learn how to control their men's excitement, and prevent orgasms, through a variety of techniques we have discussed here before.

To convince my second wife of the proper mindset for her to be in, the first day we were lovers, during a break, I sat next to her on the bed after we got out of the shower, and took her hand and put it on my cock and balls. I looked her in the eyes, and told her, " These are your toys to play with anytime you want them.". She kissed me, and told me how much that meant to her, and then she took my hand, put it on her pussy, and then pushed my middle finger into her vagina, and held me there. She told me, " This is your toy. Play with it any time, anywhere, as often as you want. " We communicated very well thereafter about our sex life, and taught each other how to pleasure the other. As our experiences grew, we tried new things, and talked to each other about new fantasies, different positions, new locations to make love. One night I was driving her home and the subject came up that she had never made love in the back seat of a car! I found a secluded spot within a mile, and pulled over, turned off the engine, and told her to climb into the back of the car. She began laughing at the suddenness and outrageousness of the idea, considering we were formally dressed, and the car was a little on the small size for the two of us to do much of anything in the back seat. But I persisted, we had " jungle sex ", and the next morning she could no longer tell anyone that she had never had sex in the back seat of a car. Damn near killed me doing it, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Have fun.

I cannot repeat this often enough: Love making is not about you; its about pleasuring your lover. Both partners have to have equal concern with their lover's pleasure, listen to direction, ask for instruction, practice, laugh when they fail, do it again when they do it right! , and communicate, comunicate with their partner to learn how to pleasure each other. If your husband is not pleasuring you, you have to tell him. Talk to him away from bed, or wherever else you make love. He needs to know what you like, want, fantasize about trying, and vice versa. Most couples don't do this well; I would venture to say most couples never do this at all- TALK ABOUT SEX! Both are afraid of what they don't know, ashamed that they don't know much, or anything, and mostly are afraid of being laughed at. That is why this website was created- to allow timid people to come on a neutral location to ask hard questions, and to learn answers. But, Sex is a participatory sport that requires more than a mouse! At some point you have to turn off the computer, and get down to business with a real person for a sex parther.

I also believe all women should own at least two toys, just in case one of them breaks down! I am talking vibrators, both the massagers, and penetrators, dildoes, butt plugs, whatever. Women need these to teach themselves what pleasures them. Not everything can be learned with your hand and fingers. And, with the quality of toys now available, there is no reason for any woman not to pleasure herself any time she wants. Women need to introduce their men to that fact of life. Men should never be jealous of or fear toys. They suppliment an active love life, and do not replace the man. If a woman can have orgasms anytime she wants one with her vibrator or other toys, she will be thinking sexy thoughts, and will be fired up for sex with her honey when he is available. That, of course, assumes that there is a healthy respect and love between the two. Toys should be used to expand your sex life with your partner, too. Just read some of Mikayla's toy reviews, or some of her answers to questions from readers to see how much toys have expanded the variety of the sex life she shares with her husband. That is a couple who never worries about being " bored ", with sex.

Great sex begins with a proper mind set. Then it takes work. But it always has to be fun, and if you aren't laughing when you are not kissing, or climaxing, something you are doing is wrong. A laughing orgasm is one of the most intense, and stress relieving thing you can experience, male or female. . But make sex fun before all else. If you will read the recently posted introduction to the new post on B&D that Mikayla has written, she stresses that even in SMBD the parties should be having fun.

Guys need to go to work to become better lovers. That means you have to get instruction- by reading books, or watching videos/dvds, and by talking and listening to your wife or lover. If you are hitting a brick wall, talk to us. We can help you understand what you are not doing right, and help you understand how to correct the technique so that you have success. But, without a commitment to improve your love making techniques, you can and will go nowhere. Women also need to learn how to control their men's excitement, and prevent orgasms, through a variety of techniques we have discussed here before.

To convince my second wife of the proper mindset for her to be in, the first day we were lovers, during a break, I sat next to her on the bed after we got out of the shower, and took her hand and put it on my cock and balls. I looked her in the eyes, and told her, " These are your toys to play with anytime you want them.". She kissed me, and told me how much that meant to her, and then she took my hand, put it on her pussy, and then pushed my middle finger into her vagina, and held me there. She told me, " This is your toy. Play with it any time, anywhere, as often as you want. " We communicated very well thereafter about our sex life, and taught each other how to pleasure the other. As our experiences grew, we tried new things, and talked to each other about new fantasies, different positions, new locations to make love. One night I was driving her home and the subject came up that she had never made love in the back seat of a car! I found a secluded spot within a mile, and pulled over, turned off the engine, and told her to climb into the back of the car. She began laughing at the suddenness and outrageousness of the idea, considering we were formally dressed, and the car was a little on the small size for the two of us to do much of anything in the back seat. But I persisted, we had " jungle sex ", and the next morning she could no longer tell anyone that she had never had sex in the back seat of a car. Damn near killed me doing it, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Have fun.

THanks Howard

[Still learning]

From a man's point of view, what makes me wanting more goes on different levels.

It starts with loving and wanting my partner.

If she doesn't treat me like a ... let's censor the language here. A man's mood can control the sex.

For the in-bed part, tries to overdo can turn someone off, be yourself.

Hangups, too many of them, can cool things off. If a man loves giving oral, or receiving oral, and she never goes there, it affects the quality of sex. I wanted to give oral so bad to someone who never wants it. It leaves something lacking and satisfaction decreases in the long run.

Doing the little things goes a long way even if it's not sexual. Touch your man where he likes it. Maybe learn a different way. Hold, squeeze, stroke his shaft, pay attention to the balls, well, you get the idea.

Let your man love you back, TELL him what feels good to you, or SHOW him, and how. BE PATIENT too when it's new for him.

Live your sexuality! I had someone who won't let me give her orgasms ever, didn't initiate often, didn't touch me a lot (I did a lot of touching her).

Be brave and do things. That does not make a woman slutty or dirty, it benefits HER sex life.

It\s not always about burying the penis for variety. Intercourse and BJ are great, so are HJ and titty fuck.

[ladylove]

That does not make a woman slutty or dirty, it benefits HER sex life.

It benefits every aspect of her life! Trust me I know.

[Still learning]

It benefits every aspect of her life! Trust me I know.

Beyond the sex life yeah.