The Worst Lover Ever

[Smile4Me]

My worst was just about any time with my first wife. I just wasn't that into her. I avoided it as much as possible, either going to bed later than she did or falling asleep on the sofa. I even avoided seeing her naked. The only good thing was that she liked anal. We would go out to dinner and she'd have a few drinks and when we got home she's on her knees wanting it in the ass. She'd get up the next day every time with a sore butt and tell me, "Don't ever do that again," and the next weekend she'd get hammered and be sticking her ass in the air again. We probably went for a six months and that was the only kind of sex we had. It was kind of weird and disturbing that she wanted sex so bad and I was just not into doing it with her. I feel sorry for her because for years I only initiated sex with her out of a sense of duty.

Wow Sunday, this is really disturbing. Why would you marry someone that you "just aren't into"??? Or did this come later in the marriage? I have to wonder what kind of person admits to having sex with a spouse (regardless of former or current) and describes it as an obligation. Then to openly admit you feel sorry for her? How pathetic. I don't mean to be judgmental, but wow, the word "slimeball" definitely comes to mind after reading your post.

[Sunday]

Wow Sunday, this is really disturbing. Why would you marry someone that you "just aren't into"??? Or did this come later in the marriage? I have to wonder what kind of person admits to having sex with a spouse (regardless of former or current) and describes it as an obligation. Then to openly admit you feel sorry for her? How pathetic. I don't mean to be judgmental, but wow, the word "slimeball" definitely comes to mind after reading your post.

LOL! "Slimeball" does seem a little judgmental, even if you didn't mean it to be that way.

I married her because she was bright, witty, funny, and at 150 pounds she was attractive. Two years of 2 bottles of wine a night , an added sixty pounds or so, and a pack-a-day smoking habit and she wasn't so attractive anymore. Also, she could get mean when she was drunk, and she was drunk every night. I felt sorry for her because I think we all need to feel loved and wanted, but her habits had totally taken control of her. I'll always love her in a way, but after two years of abusing herself and watching it get worse all the time I could not make myself feel attracted to her. We finally agreed to split. I think she quit drinking and got her act together and I married the love of my life, so it worked out.

[sun_flower969]

I did not even have to think to remember this one! I used to "see" this guy, and we had sex a few times. EVERY time we did, once he penetrated me I SWEAR he would thrust like 3 maybe 4X tops and cum! ...and then he would say, "The first one always comes too quick"... I don't ever recall there being a "second one"! Come to find out, I had a conversation with a girl he had also slept with and she told me that he said the SAME thing while in bed with her! Boy oh boy did we laugh at his expense!

[mystofpric]

i went into seclusion for a few months and arrived at the answer that i just don't have another try in me.

it's because i can't have sex...and i don't just mean because of what happened. even before that i have NEVER been interested in sex...and no guy is going to get in a long term relationship without sex. i know everyone says "oh if he loves you he can wait etc" but its not a matter of waiting...its NEVER going to happen =/

But i thought you enjoyed "me time"? I mean that's a sure sign of having a sex drive, and I mean I gotta tell ya, my sex drive has gone to shit since I've gone this long without it but I have been "forcing" myself to have regular me times and now I gotta tell ya I'm ready to hump a door knob 1/2 the time. So maybe it's like Mikayla says you gotta use it or lose it.

Also sex is not the end all be all of relationships, just one facet and you decide how big it is for you. There are guys out there with low to no sex drives also, and they're probably thinking the same as you, so you just need to find those guys. Remember you do have to kiss a lot of frogs....

[Smile4Me]

...my sex drive has gone to shit since I've gone this long without it but I have been "forcing" myself to have regular me times and now I gotta tell ya I'm ready to hump a door knob 1/2 the time . So maybe it's like Mikayla says you gotta use it or lose it.

I'm sorry, this just cracked me the hell up

[Guest eminatic]

no, i don't masturbate. i've heard the theory that you have to orgasm more and it will stimulate your body to want it more...which is how i came to this site in the first place but that has not worked, and for about the past 5 months or so i have not orgasmed- alone or otherwise. i would try to force myself everyday but then i would forget just because i never think of sex...and i would have to start putting reminders everywhere which just seemed ridiculous. it started to feel like a chore and i didnt even know what i was doing it for because i realized it wasn't having an effect on my sex drive anyway so i just stopped trying.

[sass]

The worst is a former boss. He was very sweet and all but he has the littlest penis I have ever experienced! I mean, seriously, I could not really even feel him when we were having intercourse he was so small. Right before he would cum, I would feel it some, but not enough to get me off. And the worst part, intercourse was really all he did, so needless to say, we had sex very few times.

Runner-up is a former BF who had the exact opposite problem - he was too big yet he didn't seem to believe it when I told him. It was not uncommon for me to bleed after sex with him. He was a long-term BF who I thought I loved (I was too young to really know love) but the issues with sex between us would have always been a problem so I guess it was best that he broke my heart.

[sass]

no, i don't masturbate. i've heard the theory that you have to orgasm more and it will stimulate your body to want it more...which is how i came to this site in the first place but that has not worked, and for about the past 5 months or so i have not orgasmed- alone or otherwise. i would try to force myself everyday but then i would forget just because i never think of sex...and i would have to start putting reminders everywhere which just seemed ridiculous. it started to feel like a chore and i didnt even know what i was doing it for because i realized it wasn't having an effect on my sex drive anyway so i just stopped trying.

I had several years of no sex drive and this was after being fairly active for several years. I think most of the lack of a drive had to do with things going on in my life at the time, but some things I had been through before affected it, too. After several years of no sex, alone or otherwise, my drive came back and now it some sort of sex is nearly a daily experience.

I guess it is possible you will always feel as you do now, but it is also possible things will change. I wish you luck, Em, I know from personal experience how negative events affect you.

[chloegirl]

The worst is a former boss. He was very sweet and all but he has the littlest penis I have ever experienced! I mean, seriously, I could not really even feel him when we were having intercourse he was so small. Right before he would cum, I would feel it some, but not enough to get me off. And the worst part, intercourse was really all he did, so needless to say, we had sex very few times.

I think I knew the same guy!

[sass]

I think I knew the same guy!

LOL! Well, we are close enough for it to be possible!

[synirr]

Best advice I can give you, Em, is not to rush anything, but be open to possibilities. Some people never enter into a serious relationship, and if your life is fulfilling and you're happy then I don't think there's anything wrong with that. That said, I NEVER thought I would find someone I get along with as well as I get along with my BF, and being in a serious relationship for the first time has been (and continues to be) a wonderful experience, and I've learned a lot about myself and others. Sex or no sex, I can guarantee you there's someone out there for you... and hell, there's probably even someone out there who has the potential to change your mind about sex, you just haven't met him yet. You don't ever have to actively search for him if you don't want, but if you happen to meet him, I hope you'll give him a chance

[mystofpric]

I'm sorry, this just cracked me the hell up

Its not funny, they don't play every well with others!

[Smile4Me]

LOL! "Slimeball" does seem a little judgmental, even if you didn't mean it to be that way.

I married her because she was bright, witty, funny, and at 150 pounds she was attractive. Two years of 2 bottles of wine a night , an added sixty pounds or so, and a pack-a-day smoking habit and she wasn't so attractive anymore. Also, she could get mean when she was drunk, and she was drunk every night. I felt sorry for her because I think we all need to feel loved and wanted, but her habits had totally taken control of her. I'll always love her in a way, but after two years of abusing herself and watching it get worse all the time I could not make myself feel attracted to her. We finally agreed to split. I think she quit drinking and got her act together and I married the love of my life, so it worked out.

I apologize Sunday, as I thought about how harsh that came across after the fact. I don't know, I think at first glance it just seemed very cruel; that's why I asked if this point of view came later in the marriage. I still wonder why you wouldn't try and help her or something; ok yeah, she put on some weight, but I don't think you're superficial enough to deny the woman you loved over some extra weight, and if so that just bothers me. There must have been something else going on that made her develop these habits, and that makes me think life wasn't all that happy for her. Anyway, I'm glad you're at least happy now, and I hope she figured things out. I really didn't mean to sound like a presumptuous bitch, I just sensed some deep-seeded anger and resentment in your words; that being said, if there's anything I feel that people need more of, it's compassion for the living.

[mystofpric]

Here's my story: chick threw up on me.....'nuff said?

I think I'd be tempted to give Em therapy for free.

Ouch Iha, that's sucks. I can honestly say even he-who-humps-himself-sick managed to get to the bathroom!

[Sunday]

I apologize Sunday, as I thought about how harsh that came across after the fact. I don't know, I think at first glance it just seemed very cruel; that's why I asked if this point of view came later in the marriage. I still wonder why you wouldn't try and help her or something; ok yeah, she put on some weight, but I don't think you're superficial enough to deny the woman you loved over some extra weight, and if so that just bothers me. There must have been something else going on that made her develop these habits, and that makes me think life wasn't all that happy for her. Anyway, I'm glad you're at least happy now, and I hope she figured things out. I really didn't mean to sound like a presumptuous bitch, I just sensed some deep-seeded anger and resentment in your words; that being said, if there's anything I feel that people need more of, it's compassion for the living.

I don't look back on it as cruelty, I think of it more as self preservation.

I don't think I really knew her before we married. I thought the drinking was part of her just being a fun girl and she was always "trying" to quit the smoking. I was naive and thought when we married she WOULD quit smoking and would only drink when we were out. I was wrong. Yes, there is a some resentment there. We might have had a great life together.

Your other comments - about life not being happy for her and something else going on that made her develop the habits - are why I feel sorry for her now. You are right, she has something dark going on within her. I don't know what it is, but I do wish she had had an easier life.

I guess your comments got to me a little because I was never really comfortable with bailing after only 4 years. On the other hand, it was a learning experience that the love of my life benefited from. I stayed with her through 7 years of the most horrible experiences imaginable and supported and loved her all the while. I still love her so much it hurts at times.

[Shoop]

hmmm...that's tough...when i was 16 I was dating this guy who (also 16) couldn't keep it up. It was always rubbery. What was THAT about? (nerves?) As an adult I may have understood more, but as a teen? I thought teens were always rock hard...

Um....then there's my ex who didn't like to kiss me, touch my breasts or go down on me (he had reasons for each, as to why each wasn't pleasant for him) and that was pretty bad. He was good at the actual pumping (gotta give credit where it's due) but as for the rest..pass...

In high school (and early 20's) I had a lot of just "plain old pumping" sex. I put that down to young men who didn't know any better? Granted my best friend (i only found this out recently as we're still best friends) was getting ANAL and all sorts of sex in HS, whereas I was just getting the "pump and comes". Female pleasure didn't exist back in HS sadly. Even sadder was I didn't know that was WRONG.

[Shoop]

The worst is a former boss. He was very sweet and all but he has the littlest penis I have ever experienced! I mean, seriously, I could not really even feel him when we were having intercourse he was so small. Right before he would cum, I would feel it some, but not enough to get me off. And the worst part, intercourse was really all he did, so needless to say, we had sex very few times.

I had the same experience except I LIKED this guy so much that I did have sex with him a lot. But it was so teeny weeny it really didn't do much for me. But even granted that, I was generally so attracted to him that it didn't matter. I dated him the first time for a year and then pined for him after he broke up with me for another 2 years and then we got back together as "friends with benefits" a few years later...but ya, it was small. i think there is a term for that...micro penis. looking at the pics in the wiki, my man was thinner than the guy pictured, but maybe a TAD longer...still micro...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micropenis

[Shoop]

My worst was just about any time with my first wife. I just wasn't that into her. I avoided it as much as possible, either going to bed later than she did or falling asleep on the sofa. I even avoided seeing her naked. The only good thing was that she liked anal. We would go out to dinner and she'd have a few drinks and when we got home she's on her knees wanting it in the ass. She'd get up the next day every time with a sore butt and tell me, "Don't ever do that again," and the next weekend she'd get hammered and be sticking her ass in the air again. We probably went for a six months and that was the only kind of sex we had. It was kind of weird and disturbing that she wanted sex so bad and I was just not into doing it with her. I feel sorry for her because for years I only initiated sex with her out of a sense of duty.

wow, that is sad.

Minus the anal part, i feel like I was your wife. My ex probably could have written your post.

Too bad for him though, i'm cute and sexy. His loss!

Out of curiosity, what were you not attracted to about your wife?

[Shoop]

LOL! "Slimeball" does seem a little judgmental, even if you didn't mean it to be that way.

I married her because she was bright, witty, funny, and at 150 pounds she was attractive. Two years of 2 bottles of wine a night , an added sixty pounds or so, and a pack-a-day smoking habit and she wasn't so attractive anymore. Also, she could get mean when she was drunk, and she was drunk every night. I felt sorry for her because I think we all need to feel loved and wanted, but her habits had totally taken control of her. I'll always love her in a way, but after two years of abusing herself and watching it get worse all the time I could not make myself feel attracted to her. We finally agreed to split. I think she quit drinking and got her act together and I married the love of my life, so it worked out.

ok, just read THIS part of your post (secondary post) and this doesn't apply to me at all. But the initial post did.

[ohshelly]

When I was younger there was a guy who all the girls wanted.

So, of course I had to snag him for myself.

I dated him for a couple months one summer, and what a dud. NOT dude, DUD!!

His ego was the biggest thing he owned, and the only thing he knew how to use!!

[Guest eminatic]

hmmm...that's tough...when i was 16 I was dating this guy who (also 16) couldn't keep it up. It was always rubbery. What was THAT about? (nerves?) As an adult I may have understood more, but as a teen? I thought teens were always rock hard...

lol, that happened to me too...sad thing was he was using viagra and still couldnt keep it up D:

[sass]

... i think there is a term for that...micro penis. looking at the pics in the wiki, my man was thinner than the guy pictured, but maybe a TAD longer...still micro...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micropenis

HOLY CRAP! I had no idea, but yeah, I think my guy could have had a micro. I mean, I know that size really doesn't matter, but dang ...

[Sunshine Sam218]

I was in the middle with one of my past boyfriends. He was trying to finger me and he kept jamming his finger in like he was getting me off. Then as he was looking at me he said I heard all woman love it rough and hard. I actually started laughing and told him he obviously doesn't know how to pleasure a woman. I felt like he was poking me constantly, I felt pain afterwards and had a hard time peeing for weeks. It was horrible!

[pandoras box]

Yea those are the ones that get their advice from the boys bathroom. The worst is you find someone you are very attracted to and work it to get to go out with them..finally end up in bed and they whip out something that resembles a ballpoint pen.. I tried to make it work - but needless to say - that was a deal breaker.

[Sarahangel]

Yea those are the ones that get their advice from the boys bathroom. The worst is you find someone you are very attracted to and work it to get to go out with them..finally end up in bed and they whip out something that resembles a ballpoint pen.. I tried to make it work - but needless to say - that was a deal breaker.

I just dumped my worst lover EVER a month ago!!

I stayed with him for 7 months, he wasn't attractive or anything but I had enjoyed his company and he is black so I went into this thinking... OMG he's gonna be HUGE..

When we finally slept together and he whipped it out It took everything I had not to laugh, and when he would stroke himself to get hard... he only used his thumb and one finger to do it. It was also crooked and not in a good way.. and when he'd finger me, he'd finger me dry, would never dip his fingers in to lubricate them and actually hurt me so bad my Clit was swollen for 3 days and I had a blister on the inner part of my Vagina... made peeing very painful for a few days.

He is so small that it did nothing for me, I never could orgasm with regular sex, he always had to perform Oral on me, before, during and after I would do all the work to get him off.

He really ever only liked me on top, but I got him to do Doggy style and reverse cowgirl to spice it up.. but nothing worked and he would just lay there and let me do all the work then complain that I always forced him to do oral on me... I never forced him.. but I would get angry when he'd have 3 orgasms and just leave me hanging. Sometimes I'd just want to cuddle with him and he'd just whip out his Micro Cock and be like... Blow me... then he would demand I take him to get something to eat afterwords... He doesn't have a car or a license so I was his sex toy & Chauffeur. Plus he lived with his uncle and never took me out..

I gave up and dumped him... but now its looking like I may be stuck with this douche bag seeing as after our last encounter.. I might be knocked up... YA ME.............NOT!!!