Birth Control

[seetheshells1976]

Hubby was snipped a year ago. I have a Mirena IUD that I don't want anymore (I've had physical issues with it and hormonal issues with ALL other forms of BC). We always use condoms with others (not with each other though) for the disease factor. But I don't know if I should give up the Mirena, as I'm VERY fertile and still young, and I'm scared of a condom breaking and another man impregnating me (I don't believe in abortions). Is it too much of a gamble?

What do you all use as far as protection with others? Are condoms "enough" for you?

[square]

First off, I have not done a threesome, but wife would like do a FFM (me being the M ), so this is just some miscellaneous thinking on the topic from that point of view.

Bottom line up front, to me it would be too much of a gamble.

(I'll probably get yelled at for this, but) I hate condoms, so if we ever did do a FFM, I'd prefer to find someone we could trust to be clean, and forego the condoms. Even though I have been snipped, I would either want the girl to be on some sort of BC or get myself rechecked prior to the event, since vasectomies do fail every once in a while.

If we were to ever do a MFM (which neither me nor the Mrs. is interested in, but if . . . ), I would not be comfortable with just a condom. In fact, I'd be uncomfortable with the whole thing since my wife is a Fertile Myrtle, got preggo twice on BC pills, and her getting pregnant would be pretty bad since I'm snipped (explain that), she's got some health issues, etc. and so forth.

[Guest eminatic]

well i was always told that the general rule of thumb is to always use two methods of birth control. if hormones are not an option then usually the 2nd most popular combo is condoms + spermicide. the downside being that spermicide might cause irritation...and i think i remember seeing an article saying that it actually makes you MORE likely to get an STD if the condom breaks (someone correct me if im wrong?)

there is also a gel in the works called Buffergel and another called Amphora that are designed to function as a natural, non irritating female lubricant that does not upset the ph balance, prevents stds AND kills sperm.

its been in the works forever though but i still keep my eye on it...sort of. i remember hearing last year that Amphora was targeted to release in 2010.

link

[sass]

This may sound crazy, but I KNOW my cycle. I know the days I am fertile each month. I can almost even feel myself ovulate. I know, I know, someone is going to say this is impossible, but for whatever reason, I really do know. I am not on the pill or any other BC and have not been for years. The one time I got pregnant, while I wasn't trying, I knew there was a chance if the little swimmers lived long enough.

Anyway, with that being said, for me personally, if I was to have a mmf 3some, I would not do it any where near the time I am ovulating.

[Guest eminatic]

This may sound crazy, but I KNOW my cycle. I know the days I am fertile each month. I can almost even feel myself ovulate. I know, I know, someone is going to say this is impossible, but for whatever reason, I really do know.

this is actually a somewhat common method (calculating ovulation) it requires some work but if done correctly its fairly accurate. if you go to the planned parenthood website they have several different charts/methods for tracking ovulation, by either keeping a record of your period or temperature (body temperature rises by 1 or 2 degrees during ovulation). i also remember seeing a website that sold these...colored bead things...i forget how they work but it had different colors corresponding to different days of the cycle

[sun_flower969]

This may sound crazy, but I KNOW my cycle. I know the days I am fertile each month. I can almost even feel myself ovulate. I know, I know, someone is going to say this is impossible, but for whatever reason, I really do know. I am not on the pill or any other BC and have not been for years.

Nope it's not crazy me too!

I was talking to a friend who lives the swingers lifestyle and he said that condoms are an absolute must! Obviously to prevent pregnancy but that lifestyle can be risky. Because of the many and frequent partners, you could catch some STD.

I would say continue your preferred method of BC and use condoms! Better to be safe!

[square]

. . . condoms + spermicide. the downside being that spermicide might cause irritation...and i think i remember seeing an article saying that it actually makes you MORE likely to get an STD if the condom breaks (someone correct me if im wrong?)

I remember reading that too; it's been a while, but going by memory and a quick Google search, the particular STD you were more likely to catch was HIV. I don't recall anything about the condom having to break, though.

[Mikayla1]

As someone who has dabbled in the threesomes, I would say - BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!

Meaning, if you want to be completely safe, use the Mirena for the pregnancy risk and use condoms for the STD risk. You just never know, and you said it yourself, you are young...so don't blow your life for sex, even good sex is not worth it!

[ohshelly]

This may sound crazy, but I KNOW my cycle. I know the days I am fertile each month. I can almost even feel myself ovulate. I know, I know, someone is going to say this is impossible, but for whatever reason, I really do know. I am not on the pill or any other BC and have not been for years. The one time I got pregnant, while I wasn't trying, I knew there was a chance if the little swimmers lived long enough.

Anyway, with that being said, for me personally, if I was to have a mmf 3some, I would not do it any where near the time I am ovulating.

Your not crazy, MsLayD. I can tell when I have ovulated.

I am very in tune with what my body is doing.

[laadro]

WORD OF WISE- Personally don't trust a condom- Why you ask- went to P-cola fl. a few weeks ago- friends had a get together- to say the least a very sexy wife (her husband was a seemingly reeeaal kink freak and was participating}- his wife ms. no kidding a real baby doll -the kind of girl that if you ended up at her place after a date u would spend the next two days just kissing and teasing her little wet bootie) -was tied and taped to the dining room table- - yes i -her husband and another guy shared this girl. very consentual--- I ran into her at the beach later in the week and she gave me a big hug and said it was sweet(like she could remember a small goose or a mule that night...consentual - (or was she sharing us-hum) at the same time- however after i tired of the or lets say when i started to walk away -to find another interest- the guy which i have known forever - as it turns out told me that while she was getting off on letting me fill her little sweet mouth with cum -he in order to turn it up a bit on his own had ripped the end out of his condum and enjoyed taking / breaking the only rule this wife-and her husband had-

not cumming up inside her......which he totally seemed to enjoy- funny she didnt say a peep about it either....

who would have guessed.....

[leslieanne]

I would strongly (can't emphasis strongly enough) encourage you to use both condoms and another form of BC. As mentioned condoms for the STD factor and another form of BC to prevent pregnancy. Without using condoms you are at significant risk for STD's. If you have more then one partner, regardless of how "safe" you think they are and how clean they say they are, your risk is higher. Remember most people don't know they have an STD as most STD's don't have significant symptoms - that's the reason they get passed along so readily.

I'm assuming you've tried BCP and DepoProvera when you say that hormonal methods don't work for you.

As for IUD's - there is another option besides Mirena - it's called Paragard and has no hormones associated with it. If the IUD aspect (not having to think about) has worked for you and it's just the hormonal aspect of Mirena that's the issue it would be reasonable to switch to the Paragard.

If you are 100% sure you do not want any more children, you should consider a tubal ligation. This can be done by either "cutting" the tubes (done laproscopically - band aid surgery) or there is a new process called Essure. With the Essure procedure tiny plugs are inserted into the tubes. The tubes are accessed by going through the cervix, into the uterus and placing the plugs where the tubes come into the uterus. The procedure can typically be done as an outpatient office procedure. It has the same effectiveness as a tubal ligation (1% failure rate same as for IUD's and BCP) and is considered permanent just like a tubal ligation. It does not have any affect on your ovulation and there are no hormones associated with it.

Natural family planning is a viable option provided you are very diligent about tracking your cycle. Most women do have very regular cycles, however as you hit your 30's cycle changes are more common and you must remember that stress, illness, medications, and misc. other things can throw your cycle off.

[Tyger]

well i was always told that the general rule of thumb is to always use two methods of birth control. if hormones are not an option then usually the 2nd most popular combo is condoms + spermicide. the downside being that spermicide might cause irritation...and i think i remember seeing an article saying that it actually makes you MORE likely to get an STD if the condom breaks (someone correct me if im wrong?)

there is also a gel in the works called Buffergel and another called Amphora that are designed to function as a natural, non irritating female lubricant that does not upset the ph balance, prevents stds AND kills sperm.

its been in the works forever though but i still keep my eye on it...sort of. i remember hearing last year that Amphora was targeted to release in 2010.

link

Where spermicide itself doesn't promote STDs, if it DOES irritate you inside, then YES, you can be more suseptible to an STD. If you are irritated, and possibly have open sores, that can make it easier for viruses to get inside of you and infect you. Great point Em!

We've been using a condom and a spermicidal foam that I use an applicator to push up inside before my husband enters me. I have an STD, and, even when I was on the Pill last year, we used the foam (never hurts to be extra safe since I don't want any more kids), and I didn't get irritated, nor did hubby, and he has yet to get my STD (herpes).

I'll also be on the lookout for Amphora!