Foursome

[redhorse819]

As their as been much" TA DO"over Threesomes. Shoud we,would we, could we....What are your thoughts of two couples sharing partners (Now were talking friends not strangers), not nessasarlly going all the way but in the same room in a controlled situation like kissie,suckie, touchie,feelie....Has worked out well for us..to add a little spice to our relationship..what are your thoughts or experences??

[square]

What brought me to tootimid was my wife saying she would like to do a threesome (FFM). In searching the internet for info, aside from finding tootimid, I found one site that said finding the 3rd person for a threesome can be difficult, and to consider a foursome, and that foursomes were very, very common.

I thought that was interesting. For us, I would not like my wife with another guy, and she is not interested in other guys, so it would not be for us. Nonetheless, I am interested in what others have to say on the matter, if only for my own edification.

[sass]

I think I could see us doing this at some point. We are still a little too early in our relationship for it, but we have talked about having another woman join us in bed as well as having another man join us, so I could see where we would do both as well. I think it is all up to the couple and as long as their relationship is strong, it can be OK.

For us I don't know that it would so much be for variety as much as fulfillment of each others' fantasies. I know he would love to see me with a woman and since I started the thread on bi-curious vs. bi-sexual, it is clear I don't mind being with a woman. I want to experience being with two men at one time, and he says that he would enjoy seeing that too, so about the only part of a 4-some that we have not already discussed would be him being with another woman. I think, in time, I would agreeable to that as well.

And it makes sense for this to be with a couple considered friends, especially if this is going to happen on a regular basis, so that STDs and other issues would be less of an issue. I do think it would take a special set of friends to be able to go to this level, but I know such people are out there.

Like I said earlier, our relationship is still a little young for it, but one day ...

[Mikayla1]

I have done this (geesh, what the hell haven't I done???) - back in my younger days, not since marriage. Two couples, swapping partners....then the girls going at it while the guys watched. It did work well for a few times, until the other gal got jealous. Other than potential jealousy issues (i.e. I SAW how YOU touched her, ate her out, fucked her....) it can be easier to get a foursome over a threesome, mainly because many couples want to broach the subject of other partners, but finding a single is very difficult.

So, yes, not uncommon and for some I am very sure it works well. For others, threesomes or moresomes will never work. It really depends on your personal relationship dynamic!

[ladylove]

I'm married and have not done a three-some; I really don't have any desire to. I think having a three-some would add an negative element to my or any relationship. I have read on the board of people who do participate in such activities, but I'm not sure if there is fall out after or not. I just can't think anything positive would come out of it.

[Sunshine Sam218]

I'm married and have not done a three-some; I really don't have any desire to. I think having a three-some would add an negative element to my or any relationship. I have read on the board of people who do participate in such activities, but I'm not sure if there is fall out after or not. I just can't think anything positive would come out of it.

I agree. I've tried to start something like this with a friend of mine and the result of this turned very ugly. Now both of them are having relationship problems ever since then. I do feel bad about it cause I didn't want that to happen. It didn't even get too far cause as soon as she saw him and I kiss, the jealously came and then I suddenly backed off. I have no desire for it anymore cause of the situation, but do what makes you feel comfortable.

[ricksgirl]

I am married and have been for 7 yrs now and we have been "swinging" with freinds of ours for about 2 yrs. We decided to do this after we had experienced a few threesomes with another old friend of ours and loved it . We thought that with 4 people involved then it would be even more fun....and we were right. We have not had anything negative come out of this but I think that is because we have always been so close as friends. Our "get togethers consist of....the two girls going at it for awhile and then we basicly trade parteners, that is what we have found works for us but everyone is different....If you are going to venture into something like this the most important thing is that you are secure with your relationship. It works well for us and opened alot of new windaows!!!!!!!!

[Smile4Me]

Hey there!

My husband and I used to be part of the "swinging" community, I guess you could say (Blush-blush!) It all started with a 3-some with a close friend of mine, a particularly adventurous friend! After that we had a few more 3-somes with women, 1 or 2 with men, and then started attended lifestyle clubs. We had some good (actually GREAT!) times, but found the drama of it all was not worth it. Sex is complicated enough without having to worry about 1 or 2 extra people's feelings, and a lot of the time, the people you're messing around with aren't completely sure what they're comfortable with - SO, inevitably, when something is out of their comfort zone, they're going to come at you, guns-a-blazing. My whole theory on it is that it can definitely spice up yourself life, but at what cost? On the other hand, some people just seem to have the RIGHT relationship for it, which I feel is very few.

I know one thing, men tend to get spoiled to it (it's true, 100%!). A few months or years of messing around with different women and the thought of being with just your wife (OH NO, complete monogomy???!) again doesn't seem too thrilling anymore, and you can see where that would cause issues! I think if it's something purely supplementary to an already great sex life, SURE! The more the merrier! HOWEVER, if you're trying to recouperate your 'married-sex' and revamp your sexual chemistry, or fill in the gaps of where your partner is lacking...consider it a ONE-WAY to signing divorce papers (after all, no marriage will survive one person taking the other for granted). Close friends of mine have fallen to the fate of the open marriage, swinging lifestyle, even blatant polymory, really whatever you decide to call it. It's not pretty or glamorous whatsoever. Some though, seem to have made it a successful and integral part of their life.

Good luck to you! And have fun!!

[sun_flower969]

Just to clarify, having a foursome is still considered swinging... I have a friend who is a swinger, he and his girlfriend (who is Bi) go to clubs and what not, hook up w/ random other couples and have threesomes and moresomes. He told me the most was a sixsome (is that even a word??)! It works for them because neither of them are the jealous type. Recently they had a threesome with a girl who is a close friend of theirs. This concerns me because she is/was not a swinger! I wonder what the repercussions are going to be!

For me I AM the jealous type, so nope not my bag!

[Mikayla1]

Actually Sun, just having a foursome does not necessarily mean swinging. Technically, swinging means 'trading' partners - but it can also mean one partner or the other gets to have sexual action, while the non-intimate partner watches. There are so many definitions - soft swap, full swap, swinging...

I think for the most part, you can have group sex with 3 or more persons involved, labels are not necessarily important.

[chloegirl]

The fantasy of it is hot as hell but being able to keep that jealousy factor out of it is the question. When I was younger and less confident there is no way I'd even consider it....now I'd be up for it but there is no way hubby would ever go for it.....go figure! It remains a major turn on when fantasizing during "playtime" - just the thought of it can take me over the edge FAST.

[sun_flower969]

Actually Sun, just having a foursome does not necessarily mean swinging. Technically, swinging means 'trading' partners - but it can also mean one partner or the other gets to have sexual action, while the non-intimate partner watches. There are so many definitions - soft swap, full swap, swinging...

I think for the most part, you can have group sex with 3 or more persons involved, labels are not necessarily important.

I guess I should have said "From what I understand..." instead of speaking authoritatively. I thought all of those things fell under the swinging umbrella. Not to say you are a swinger forever if you do it once... but yeah who cares about labels I agree!

The fantasy of it is hot as hell but being able to keep that jealousy factor out of it is the question. When I was younger and less confident there is no way I'd even consider it....now I'd be up for it but there is no way hubby would ever go for it.....go figure! It remains a major turn on when fantasizing during "playtime" - just the thought of it can take me over the edge FAST.

Totally Chloe! I hear ya!!

[ladylove]

Hey there!

My husband and I used to be part of the "swinging" community, I guess you could say (Blush-blush!) It all started with a 3-some with a close friend of mine, a particularly adventurous friend! After that we had a few more 3-somes with women, 1 or 2 with men, and then started attended lifestyle clubs. We had some good (actually GREAT!) times, but found the drama of it all was not worth it. Sex is complicated enough without having to worry about 1 or 2 extra people's feelings, and a lot of the time, the people you're messing around with aren't completely sure what they're comfortable with - SO, inevitably, when something is out of their comfort zone, they're going to come at you, guns-a-blazing. My whole theory on it is that it can definitely spice up yourself life, but at what cost? On the other hand, some people just seem to have the RIGHT relationship for it, which I feel is very few.

I know one thing, men tend to get spoiled to it (it's true, 100%!). A few months or years of messing around with different women and the thought of being with just your wife (OH NO, complete monogomy???!) again doesn't seem too thrilling anymore, and you can see where that would cause issues! I think if it's something purely supplementary to an already great sex life, SURE! The more the merrier! HOWEVER, if you're trying to recouperate your 'married-sex' and revamp your sexual chemistry, or fill in the gaps of where your partner is lacking...consider it a ONE-WAY to signing divorce papers (after all, no marriage will survive one person taking the other for granted). Close friends of mine have fallen to the fate of the open marriage, swinging lifestyle, even blatant polymory, really whatever you decide to call it. It's not pretty or glamorous whatsoever. Some though, seem to have made it a successful and integral part of their life.

Good luck to you! And have fun!!

Have you settled the issues you were going through?