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ShyBear

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About ShyBear

  • Birthday 10/31/1969

Member Info

  • Briefly Describe your last sexual encounter:
    Ride 'em Cowgirl!!! Yee Ha!!! LOL!! He is an awesome ride!
  • # of sex toys you own?
    four
  • Marital status
    In a Relationship
  • What is your age & gender?
    37 Female

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female

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  • Website URL
    http://

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  1. Now that is my kinda pumpkin!!!! What a TREAT!!!!
  2. 12 Yes, They heard you. LOL, I know if I can hear THEM, then they sure as hell can hear ME!!!
  3. By shut down I assume you mean you lose your desire for sex. Let me ask you, does your husband do anything to arouse you sexually before you actually have intercourse? Does he give you oral sex, fondle your breast, anything at all beforehand? Sex should be fun for both of you. What do the two of you as far as foreplay? Their is nothing wrong with him stimulating your clit during sex to bring you to orgasm if that is what it takes. Some women need some type of direct stimulation in order to orgasm. 99% of the time I need direct stimulation as well. Don't worry there is nothing wrong with you or abnormal about it. You can also orgasm by moving your hips up to meet him while he is inside of you or you climbing on top of him and riding. These provide direct stimulation to your clit as well, without the use of his hands. There are alot of great articles in the Sex Education section here that might help you find a way to orgasm easier without him using his hands if you would rather he didn't. Does your husband complain about stimulating you with his fingers to bring you to orgasm? I doubt that it is demeaning to him, however, if you are uncomfortable with it, allow him to perform oral sex on you to bring you to orgasm. That is also a very pleasurable, and very stimulating alternative, and it will definitely have you ready for him to enter you. Without knowing more about what it is that you two do to get ready for sex, or knowing what else you have tried to bring yourself to orgasm, I am not sure what else to tell you. Check the Sex Ed. Articles here, they are very insightful. I am sure others will be along as well to provide their wisdom and insight.
  4. Jack is not being fair to your or his girlfriend and you are allowing him to be unfair to you if you keep seeing him. You need to just walk away. I know it is hard...I had a man I was totally attracted to the way you are with Jack...he was no good for me either...he lied to me, made excuses why he could not see me, yet I was so totally attracted to him. I could not stop thinking about him...I thought if I did not talk to him everyday, I was going to go insane. I finally had to tell him how it was, that I had had enough of the bullshit, and things had to change, if they didn't, I was moving on...he stopped calling altogether and I moved on. It took a long while to do it but I did. One day at a time. First step was I deleted his phone numbers from my phones...I didn't have them memorized since I had them programmed. That stopped me from calling him. The next thing I did was delete all his texts messages. Then I could not text him anymore. A week or so later I removed him from my messenger and email lists. What took me over a month to do was deleting his pictures from my computer. That was the hardest because that meant I could not even see him anymore. But I finally did it. It takes willpower...you can do it. I have met a man now that respects me and dates only me...does not lie to me, and most importantly, has sex with only me. Think about this....Jack has a girlfriend right...but he is cheating on her with you. What if you were his girlfriend? Do you think you can trust him enough, knowing he is capable of cheating, not to cheat on you? I don't think I could. I don't think you should. Walking away is not an easy thing when you are attracted to someone but if you are not in love with him it will be easier to do now than if you end up falling in love. He is not the kind of guy you want to fall in love with. If he had any intentions of being with you, he would not be moving in with this other girl, right? Keep that in mind. Walk away before you get hurt,
  5. Welcome Big G! Looking forward to reading your post and answering whatever questions your might have...There is always someone here with an answer!
  6. I am sure you know that everyone is here to help and encourage you in your sexual experiences. You have been having them far longer than I have I am sure. With that said, I am going to throw my two cents into the bucket here. My boyfriend and I have great sex, but if there was one area I would like to improve on right now is him talking to me and telling me what he likes and doesn't like DURING sex. I would hope that would be an ongoing thing. As I put it to him, I would like for him to tell me if there is something that I do or did that he really liked so that I could remember it and do it again another time. If I am giving him oral sex, I want to hear him talking to me. That is how I know he is enjoying it. You said you like dirty talk and that kind of talk is fine with you..."suck it, suck it" is a form of dirty talk. It is not necessarily direction. If a man is enjoying himself and he is saying "yeah baby, suck it, yeah just like that," It is not direction, that is him saying, "OMG, I love what you are doing please don't stop!" Be flattered and feel good about it...you are bringing him pleasure! Don't get pissed over it. If you want him to talk dirty to you if he doesn't already, I was not clear from your post if he does or not, start talking dirty to him. He will eventually pick up on it. As for him pleasuring you with his hand...if it is too rough...again...don't get pissed over it...it is a problem easily fixed. Just take his hand in yours, and show him how you want it done, and talk to him as you do it...just tell him, "just like this baby, easy, I will come faster if you do it this way". IF he still doesn't do it right, then don't let him do it. If it is something he wants to do, he will learn to do it right or not do it at all. Even though you have had sex for 35 years and you know each other very intimately, your bodies and how they function sexually are going to change. What used to arouse him may not work as easily now. It may take something a little different. Same goes for you. Think of your bodies and sex as a life-long science experiment...Something to always explore and research together. His level of frustration with sex may stem from the fact that you get mad at his attempts to pleasure you are not good enough and you get pissed. Try to change that. Remember that you are not the same as you were 35 years ago....hell, you are not the same as you were 2 years ago...as I said, your bodies are constantly changing...estrogen and testoterone levels tend to fluctuate around your ages and can change sexual moods. Be patient. He may be having some issues here as well. Talk to him about it and see what is going on. You two have too many years here to let this bring ya down. Communication is still important at this stage in your marriage. Be proud that you have be together 35 years. That is amazing...
  7. Dr. Feelgood A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, ''Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue." He continued, ''Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut.'' The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests. Then he told the Greens the bad news. ''I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help.'' The Greens pleaded with him, and said, ''You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please help us. "Ok, go to the store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios...''
  8. Tyger, I love these rules...can we get them passed through legislation? LOL
  9. Thanks for all the advice and opinions guys. Yes, I have my eyes wide open on this one..I have from the beginning. I am not ready myself to fall "IN LOVE" again. I have been hurt as well, and I have some trust issues in that area. I don't want to be hurt again either, but, as I am sure you have all had happen, my head and my heart have begun this tug o war match and the heart has a slight lead. I am totally comfortable in the relationship the way it is, but that does not mean I want it to stay there forever and he is aware of that. I think he said once that if we lasted 10 years that would be great, if lasted only 10 more days that would not be great. He does send mixed signals, it seems like he puts himself out there, then realizes it, and reels himself back in some. I am a patient woman. Like you Tyger, we started out dating and friends only. This relationship has just progressed on its own without any pushing or pulling from either of us. I am not going to push anything, just let things flow as they have been and see what happens. He knows that I am not just merely a girlfriend, that I am a friend as well, and that he can trust me. I can see he is trying just from him opening up with me about certain things. I do know that, for some reason, I can trust him as well, despite his emotional disabilities. As far as being honest, faithful, etc. I am not sure yet that I want to trust him with my heart and that his were he and I are the same. Even though I am attached to him somewhat. I would be sad if he walked away. I would live, but I would be sad. Thanks again for the input.
  10. Here's my thing with some of what you have said...as far as him getting distracted and giving up because the bed squeaks or the dog is barking sounds like a lot of BS to me...sorry to be that blunt about it but it is true. Sounds like a cop out. I think he is using that as an excuse NOT to have sex or to continue until you are fully satisfied as well. I know if my bed started squeaking during sex I would not even notice because I would be so into the what I was feeling and into pleasuring my guy that I would not even notice. If I did happen to notice big freaking deal...tune it out...As for the dog barking...if it bothers him that much, shut your door with the dog on the other side of it or put the dog outside and again...tune it out. These are distractions that are easily overcome if he is willing too...sounds to me like he is not willing too. As far as the workout thing...he has to wanna do for himself before he will do it for you. Sounds like a great idea but to him it probably sounded like more work. I would not be to overly concerned by it unless he is just so out of shape you can't stand to look at him, in which case you may have to decide if you can live with him like that or not. Physical attraction plays an initial role in sexual attraction, the rest is his personality, intelligence, sense of humor, etc. Let's face it...looks are going to go sooner or later and those traits are going to be what you are left with...decide what is more important to you. His working out or the rest of him? Which do you wanna live with? When you try to talk to him, do you do it only after you guys have begun to disagree about something else and he is already on the defensive or do you sit him down and say "babe, we really need to talk." ? Your tone of voice when you approach him and how you talk to him throughout can make all the difference in the world. Make sure you also tell him that you think that while "this" is absolutely fantastic, you would really like it if we could try "this". Maybe we could ignore the bed squeaking or maybe make a pile of blankets on the floor instead. Offer him alternatives so that he can see you are not picking on him and that you are also trying to find a solution to make things better for you. Say that you know you are not perfect as well and ask if there is something that you can do better or different that he would enjoy more. This way he is not being singled out in the conversation. He won't feel like it is a "pick on the boyfriend" talk. Does that help any? I hope so. Good luck!
  11. I have dated several nationalities...Australian, Puerto Rican, Colombian, Moroccan, Italian (I married the Italian, and no they aren't the best in bed). I will tell you that the accent is what draws me in faster than anything else...lol. My guy now has the sexiest accent yet...I just love listening to him talk...such a shame he hates being on the phone...lol.
  12. Ok so here is why I am asking for your thoughts. For the last couple of months things have been going really well with my guy and me. He has recently been opening up with me about his past more and more, and I know that is a hard thing for him considering much of it is very private and personal for him and he does not share that part of him with anyone. I won't go into details because I don't want to violate his trust and his privacy but I will say that what he went through has caused him to be leary of getting close to a woman. My guy and I were talking the other day along these lines and he mentioned that he would not fall in love again, that he was not capable of it. I asked him "so your not even a little bit attached to me?" and he said he was sorry but no. I said, "Ok, if you say so", simply because his actions speak more to me than those words did. The reason I think he is actually a little emotionally attached and in denial with himself is because he is the one who didn't want the girlfriend to begin with and he has had many opportunities to walk away. Once he started calling me his girlfriend and decided he wanted that relationship he could have walked away when things got tough at times but he refused too...I have given him plenty of opportunities to do so. Then there is the fact that he drives 50 miles at least once a week to come see me and plans his activities on his weekends off from work to include me because I go see him. He has begun introducing me to friends and just this past week to his immediate family. I noticed it seemed to make him very happy that his mom liked me...He told me with a big smile "my mom liked you and said you were pretty". Why would that matter if he was not a little attached already? Why would it matter and why would he tell me even that his brothers liked me? I even asked him why do you come see me then? and he stopped for a moment and looked around...then said..well, you come see me right? I could see he was looking for a suitable answer. He talks to me everyday on the instant messenger, he says it is because I will get pissed off if he doesn't...well, why should it matter to you if I get pissed if you are not attached a little...if you ask me, I think it is because he wants to talk to me...not because I am going to get pissed if he doesn't. He hates mushy words and comments....he hates me to tell him I miss him but he is learning to tolerate it...lol. He told me once about a month ago that if I could find someone else that would make me happy that lived close by then to go ahead. I was very tired of him thinking I was not happy with him...so I said to him "based on how you feel right now is that what you want me to do?" He said, "I feel fine" I said, "no, that is not what I am asking," and I repeated the question. He said, "OH! NO! Absolutely not!" So I told him, "then stop telling me that, I am happy with you too, and I want to give this time to work." I mean it is a bunch of little things that add up to make me think that he is in denial. Am I imagining things?
  13. Thanks guys! Sounds like some great advice...I definitely want to try the reverse position...I am not worried about my orgasm from this position...it is a given...I want to make sure he is enjoying my being on top...lol...I want it to be a "worthwhile effort"...No I have not gotten any complaints and I am sure he enjoys it or else he would not ask me to do it, but I would love for it to go beyond the ordinary...we both are very open minded when it comes to trying new things...He is not into the toys...already mentioned them..he tried them in a previous relationship he said they did not do much for him...I was not there so I don't know what they did or used that turned him off from them but I will give it time and ask him again... Again, Thanks guys,
  14. I used to experience the same thing with my ex and I would think.." I heard that sex was supposed to be good for a headache, not cause a headache." What I noticed was that, I only got them when he put a lot of his weight on top of me, basically cutting off my circulation and making it hard for me to move under him. If I was able to move then it was not an issue. I have never gotten them from oral or from masterbation...I do get migraines as a regular medical condition though and I take a preventative to stop them now. They used to get so bad I would have to be naked in a dark room, with no noise, with the air conditioning as cold as I could get with an ice pack besides. I could not eat or drink anything and would spend half my day or night, if not both puking my guts out. NOT FUN! You may want to get checked as Tyger suggested to make sure they are not stemming from an underlying medical condition. Speak to your GYN...they would be the best person to speak to about it. They know more about how the female body works than a regular doctor does. Good luck! I know how bad they hurt...really sucks. Get check out just to be sure!
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