DADT

Hello S: I read your post. My heart goes out to you. You are very angry, hurt, and above all desperate for change. With good cause. Having said that, don't send the letter to your husband. He will not suddenly become enlightened and respond the way you want him to. Rather, it will become another example of how you have become an intolerable person to live with & make him withdraw further from you. And do yourself a favor and make sure that he doesn't find out that you vented to strangers on TT looking for answers. So what should you do? Well keep talking to people here. A lot of us know what you are facing. We can sympathize, empathize, perhaps give you something to think about. Here's something you might want to try. Go to Amazon.com, and pick a book by William F. Hadley, PhD. He has written some very good books about marital problems that get at the fundamental differences between men and woman and how to reconcile them to strengthen a couple's relationship. He isn't writing for the mildly dissatisfied. He is writing for people who feel like they are in a hopeless rut & loveless marriage. I've read his books "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters." Both explain clearly what it is that men and woman do to each other that weakens relationships, and he provides guidance on how to correct that. http://www.amazon.com/Willard-F.-Harley/e/...t_athr_dp_pel_1 Look, this is unfair, but as the woman you will often have to carry more than your fair share of the emotional burden. Many young men are not equipped to deal with complex emotional needs, their own or anyone else's. They just weren't taught to understand what women's needs were all about. Opening up and being vulnerable can be quite frightening to some men. Men are supposed to be strong. Men are supposed to be sure. Men are supposed to provide for their family. So each time you go to him with one of your concerns (justified as they may be) he hears "You aren't a real man." Sounds like BS? Read one of the books. You will see. Another thing to do is look for free help locally. Perhaps there is a local women's group that might provide a forum to air your feelings & discuss them with other women. Sometimes just knowing you are not the first person to encounter such problems relieves some of the cumulative despair that has built up within you. You loved each other once. You can love each other again. There are just things that you have to know and grow to accept about each other, before that feeling can live and breath again. Before I go I'm going to leave you with this song. It will allow you to have a really good, sobbing, heaving, cry. It will be an emotional release. Not as fun as an orgasm, but beneficial all the same. Good Luck, D

WTF, a guy goes on sabbatical for a while and everyone gets all pouty. Gals, when the BF/Hubby is administering oral relief does it drive you nuts if he makes eye contact & stops to tell you how good you taste & feel & what he's going do to you next? Or does that make you feel self-conscious?

You can say everything you need to by just walking off the dance floor the minute such a comments is made. No drama. Just a calm "I can't dance with you. You make me uncomfortable. I'm leaving." You've kept your dignity, and you've stopped the abuse right when it started. Works for dating too. If you "flip out" you give the guy the excuse to say "That bitch is a psycho." Don't give him the satisfaction. Plus you with absorb the upset which will leave a psychic scar. If you keep your cool and quietly extract yourself from the situation, he will be the one wondering "What just happened?" And you walk away with your pride & self-esteem intact, and most likely a strong sense of self-satisfaction that you didn't let a creep get to you. Make sense? Why do some guys do this? Probably learned it from their Dads or older brothers. And because they tend to find girls who will let them. So girls stop these guys in their tracks.

So can I infer from this that if you were a California resident that you would be first in line to offer to raise your taxes so that a first class child welfare system could be implemented? Child abuse is disgusting, but it seems not quite disgusting enough to overcome citizens' reluctance to pay for the services needed to protect children. Too bad we can't require people who will make unfit parents to use contraception. Sadly, that is un-Constitutional.

Have you ever met or spoken to anyone who receives AFDC or Section 8 housing (Welfare)? I have. The vast majority of these mothers are Caucasian woman under the age of 25 whose BFs left them when they got pregnant. So I'm going to ask you and others to be careful when you throw terms like "leeches" around. They hate being on welfare more than you hate paying for it. But they are usually very poorly educated, so cannot get jobs that provide benefits and allow them to pay for day care. We should really be exasperated at the fact that we haven't found a way to educate the underclass so that they can take care of themselves long term.

Free country. Salute as many or as few as you like. My point was that there are a fair number of folks among us who make unnoticed sacrifices for the benefit of the rest of us.

You have one. Try having him lick you until you feel like you are half way towards a "clitoral orgasm." You will be nice & lubricated. Then have him insert his index, hooking the tip of his finger towards the ceiling. Then he should brush the finger tip gently back and forth. His should be a patch that has a slightly spongy, rough texture. You should feel like little devils are dancing in your pussy. Worth further research don't you think?

I have a mountain of respect for anyone who volunteers to put themselves in harm's way. But can we spread the love a bit further? There are plenty of people to salute who give of themselves and to society who are non-military. So lets make a point of saluting: teachers; nurses; fire fighters; medical researchers; mental health professionals; social work professionals; people who volunteer to coach kids at sports or even how to read; foster parents; "Doctors Without Borders"; Green Peace; NSPCC; NSPCA; Bill Moyers. I look forward to the day when we figure out how to be part of the global community without dispensing Purple Hearts, observing solemn funerals at Arlington Cemetery, or overwhelming the capacity of VA Hospitals. When that day comes God will have truly Blessed America.

Philosophically your plan rocks. But I have a lot of technical & gender based issues. For one thing, why are you letting him go to work on his birthday? How much feedback do you want?

OK I just saw your pics on another thread. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THE YOUNG MAN IS GOING TO DEVOUR YOU. I GUARANTEE IT.

Missy, he decided long ago that he likes your body. He wants to feel your skin so bad that he actually asked you to do this. You should have no worries about how you look or how your body will feel to him. Spend your time thinking about what you want him to do and what hot spots to focus on. Unless you just ran a 10K & haven't showered in days, he will love how you feel, smell, and taste. All that leaves is sound. If he is driving you crazy & teasing you mercilessly, you must absolutely, positively, leave no shadow of a doubt in his mind that he is making you feel fabulous. So give him lots of "Mmmm yes keep doing that" or "please stroke me there, it drive me nuts" or "kiss & bite me a bit harder right there." Be vocal for 3 reasons. First, he'll need the direction on what make you feel great. Second, nothing turns a man on more than positive, verbal feedback. Third, as athlete, you are probably quite assertive. Why not carry that into the bedroom? So don't be shy or embarrassed or self-conscious. He will feel like the luckiest man alive. Go ahead and give him a finale full of "OMG you're making me..........." and just scream whatever it is you scream when you reach that happy place. Have a great time.

Maybe not super close to orgasm, but perhaps on the right path. Do you know where your G-Spot is? Try inserting your index finger like a hook with the finger tip pointing up towards the "ceiling." Can you find a patch that has a slightly rough texture? If you rub that a bit how does it feel? Nice but a feeling of having to pee? Congratulations. Make sure you show Mr. Right when you meet him. Warning: these orgasms can be intense and rather sudden. So if you are a strong, physical girl, do give your partner the "heads up" that he may want to be on the look out for sudden, vigorous arm & leg movements. Best to avoid accidental concussions, at least on the 1st date.

Stop it. You are telling me you are going from "Hmmm shall I have minestrone or tomato soup for dinner" to "Help, I'm going to cum" in 30 secs. Rubbish.

Jeepers! Are you guys gerbils? Must have genitals built by Ferrari! My sneezes last longer than that. Does it hurt to cum that quickly?

I found TT randomly. I saw an ad in a magazine and my curiosity was peaked. Checked out the website. Saw the forums link and found a whole new universe. A lot of smart & interesting people having grown-up discussions about a subject very dear to me. That's what keeps me coming back.