MarieMarie

The guy I'm seeing wears CK Truth. That combined with his lingering cigarette smoke drives me completely ape-shit (in a good way). And I can't figure that out for the life of me because I always swore I'd never be in a relationship with a smoker. But....don't care, don't care.

Okay, I just spit coffee all over my monitor.

Boy, if I only had to worry about one style manual on a daily basis, I would crap my drawers with glee. It's a damn good thing that I love books, or my mind would have fled a long time ago.

Don't sweat it, girl, I'm just messing with you. Yeah, "makes" should be "make," and the overall structure is a bit wonky.....but all of that is totally acceptable for a message board. I really wasn't trying to make an example of you; it's just a bad habit of mine to inject humor wherever I can. Besides, grammar discussions get my nerd gears going in a big way. Oh, and remember when I said, "Plus, criticism of others' grammar can also have a funny way of biting you in the ass"? Well, I couldn't have written a better textbook example of a redundancy error if I'd tried.

I must admit that excessive spelling and grammatical errors make my teeth grind a bit too. However, I tend to cut people on the Internet slack because I really know nothing about them. I've been working as a writing tutor at my local community college for the past couple of years, and it has been an eye-opening experience to work with struggling ENG 111 students who have remedial writing skills that once qualified them for an honors English class at the local public high school. I always try to remind myself, though, that a lot of people who aren't linguistically impressive can still have great minds and could blow me out of the water when it comes to math or carpentry or computers or fixing cars. And none of us is perfect; I know that I make grammar/punctuation errors all the time when I'm not paying attention. Plus, criticism of others' grammar can also have a funny way of biting you in the ass. Resisting....urge.....to....point out....errors....in your.....sentence.....above...... Seriously, though, what does get my underpants in a wad are grammar/punctuation errors that pop up in advertisements and on billboards. There's no excuse for that.

You and Iggy Pop could have sword fights, m'friend! Not that you'd want to or anything......but at least you know what I'll be dreaming about tonight.

vacant

I can't stop buying underpants.

Would this be a bad time for me to pick a fight?

I'm fairly certain that I would resort to fisticuffs rather early on in the activity.

In fact, I have noticed that the board can now maintain an erection for a herculean time span. Thanks, Rob!

Boring, sadly. But the middle one didn't need words because he reeeeally knew what he was doing in the sack. He was patient and simply treated me like a fun little puzzle that was all his own to figure out. And outside of bed we had so much in common that we talked constantly, and we always knew what the other was thinking. Incidentally, he also had the smallest penis I've ever seen--nice girth, but short. But he easily wins as the best sex partner I've ever had. We used to spend entire days in bed. Sex, nap, coffee, breakfast, more sex, nap, lunch, maybe a shower, more sex.... It was especially fun in the summer when we had no air conditioning and it was 96 degrees and we were all sweaty and slippery. God, but we fought something awful. Sometimes I think it's because we were too much alike. Plus there was lots of bad-timing stress at the time and we were still pretty young. Funny how that stuff works. We're still good friends now, and neither of us has any idea why we didn't end up together.

I love chess, but my skill level basically ends at knowing how the pieces move. I don't know anything about strategy.

Mmmmm...........beef. I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

Words uttered are as much of a turn-on as the rest of it is for me and are likely to be the things that will send me over the top. Unfortunately....my exes have mostly been pretty quiet.