Been married for almost 25 years, and having sex for 3 longer than that. She was my first, I was not hers (not an issue btw, I think it's hot). The last couple years have slowed way down. 3-6 times a week to once a month (or so) slowed down. Every so often we will do it a few nights in a row and get my hopes up and then dry spell. She used to be a little adventurous, now it is the same routine every time. I have tried suggesting getaways or evenings without kids, but even if she agrees we probably aren't going to get to it. She has never been one to ever tell me what her fantasies are and open up so I am at a loss. She tells me she loves the sex and wants to do it more , but then shuts down. When I ask if something is wrong, she gets defensive. That is how I ended here, looking for something to spice things up and get her interested again.