JackieM3117

I get to have sexual relations with this beautiful man

I like to start by licking from the base of his shaft all the way to the top, and then taking the whole thing into my mouth as much as i possibly can... next i keep my lips over my teeth and go up and down, flicking my tongue around as i move... once it is nice and lubricated i grip my hand around it and use it in combination with my sucking. As my hand comes closer to the head I apply more pressure than at the base. I also like to throw in little variations here and there so that he doesnt get used to only one motion.

there is this waterproof g-spot vibe that gets offered for free on the website every once in awhile, I have that and I enjoy it... and it was free! if you want to wait til it gets offered again tho

Like Howard and Thursias, the first thing that came to my mind was counseling. I actually went to a therapist myself because of some similar problems... although not as severe given that I'm not married to the guy. But my therapist gave me some great suggestions and the last time my boyfriend and I had sex it was pretty good. The main thing that I started doing was randomly commenting on the things that my bf did that I liked, and pretty soon he started doing them. This was easier than trying to start some sort of conversation, because he too would automatically get defensive as soon as I wanted to talk. Of course the alternate route is to simply be direct and ask her "Are you happy in this relationship anymore?" and take it from there. I would definitely, definitely consider talking to a professional tho.

It's too bad this site doesn't just have a OB GYN to answer health questions directly... but I just wanted to throw in that bacteria is everywhere so it might just be best to go with the "better safe than sorry" approach. After childbirth that area is admittedly vulnerable, and while some sex practices are less likely than others to cause a problem, I know I personally would not want to take the risk. Anyway, like Mikayla and Howard said, have your wife talk to her doctor and after hearing what the doctor has to say, see what your wife is comfortable with doing.

It took the threat of divorce for my dad to finally understand that my mom was suffering in the marriage... in fact they did get divorced. It wasn't until then that he finally started listening her, and started really doing things to try to make their relationship work. They eventually were remarried and their relationship is much better, they are both quite visibly happier. It's a hard thing to consider, especially when 3 kids are involved, but sometimes thats what it takes to get someone to take your feelings seriously. If he really cares about your sister, and really wants to make the relationship work out, then that should at the very least strike a nerve with him, and hopefully motivate him to at least listen to what she needs and how is he is hurting her. I don't believe the lack of sex is the primary problem here, and I hope you encourage your sister to assert herself, and offer her any support you can. Best of luck, JMM

Thanks Howard, I'm a bit shy about ultimatums but I think you are right. Hearing someone else say it makes me feel a little less guilty/selfish. -JMM

Thanks everyone for the advice, but I don't think I really asked my question in the way I had intended. I have spoken with my boyfriend (in a non-complaining way) and he told me he is just not comfortable/interested in doing the things I would like to try. I would be comfortable with an open relationship in that I do not view other females that he might court as a threat, and the way I see it, I would just be going outside our relationship to fill a void that he is unable to fill. On that note, I do not view open relationships as "nothing more than accepted cheating". While monogamy is the norm, people can have very fulfilling non-monogamous relationships. Boundaries have to be set, and those boundaries differ for different people depending on what needs they intend to fulfill, and how comfortable both partners are with the idea. What my question really is: should I try to maintain some sort of relationship that goes beyond that of just friendship (by suggesting an open one) or would it be better to just break up?

My boyfriend and I have been going out for more than a year now and everything has been great. We were both each other's firsts as far as intercourse is concerned, and sex has always been very fulfilling. Fueled by my desire to have an orgasm (I've never had one, alone or otherwise), I am constantly looking for new things to incorporate into our sex-life. While he will oblige me in some things (for example, he has restrained me during foreplay and teased me before giving into my pleas for sex a couple of times), there are other things which he is uncomfortable with trying (for example, role play). I love him like crazy, but intercourse has become both boring and unfulfilling for me. He likes things to be very vanilla and I want things to be a little spicier. Meanwhile I've met this other guy who I am very physically attracted to, and is into a lot of the same things sexually that I am interested in trying. I was thinking about asking my boyfriend for an open relationship, but I fear that even if he agreed to it, as soon as he found out I had been with another man, he would end our relationship completely, and that is certainly not what I want. I'm not sure that exploring my sexual desires is worth losing someone that I connect with on so many other levels. At the same time, sex is really important to me and it bothers me a lot that I have so many fantasies I might never be able to act out. I would appreciate any advice on the matter. Thanks, JMM

I am a woman and my favorite toy is actually the g-spot stimulator that this website gave out as a freebie not too long ago. I haven't actually been able to locate my g-spot with it, but I really enjoy using it on my clit. Living in a dorm with a roomate, I like use my g-spot stimulator in the shower where I am afforded some privacy. The sound of the water tends to drown out the noise of the vibrator which is very good. I usually use it 1-2 times a week, but will certainly use it more once the semester is over and I am working a regular job and do not have to worry about exams and papers and what not. As an aside, I would also like to mention that the Rabbit iVibe is vastly overrated; it was a lot better in theory.

I'm 19 and having the same problem... I've tried all the advice I can find, read the articles on it from here and other websites. I read something about possibly a lack of "bioelectricity" in the genital area due to lack of testosterone. Otherwise I heard some women do not get one until late 20's even 30's... and some women just don't ever experience having one. I've had that exact same thing happen to me where its building up, feeling great, and then all of a sudden its like the feeling just goes dead. I don't have any advice to give, but you're not alone.

I'm actually going through a bit of similar situation, although it's not quite as bad as what you are going through. You should start by very openly telling him that you do not feel as though you are having intercourse regularly enough and that you really miss having it with him. Go ahead and flatter his ego a little if you want, if you feel comfortable talking dirty say something like "I miss your big dick pounding my tight little pussy". Nothing like a compliment to warm a person up to any ideas you want to propose. What my boyfriend and I did was look at our class schedules and what not, and look to see what would be the best times for us to have our "together" time. We don't live actually live together, but we make time to see each other on these days in these time slots (we worked it out to have sex twice a week). Secondly, we share with each other when we like something the other is doing sexually, or has done in the past (i.e. "i really love it when you hold me down, it gets me so turned on"). If you are getting tired of doing a particular position, say something like "Oh hun, would you do my doggy-style, I love it so much when you do that." As far as the teasing you and then not letting you have it, I would communicate that to him. If he doesn't desist, do it to him... when you go to jerk him off those time he solicits you, get him nice and hard, and then just don't finish... flash him a smile and say "lets see how you like being teased" and walk away. I hope this helps -JMM

So here's my suggestion: systematic desensitization. Basically what this entails is making a list of things related to sex from least anxiety producing to most anxiety producing. The first step could be something as basic as thinking about a sexual act. The last step would be having sexual intercourse. What you do is work on each step, never moving onto the next step, until she no longer feels anxiety regarding the current step. It might take several sessions before she is ready to moveon to the next step on her list. Talk about it with her, see if she's interested - it would require patience but it might help.

I'd say maybe instead of directly asking her to perform oral sex, just try to feel her out on what she thinks of it, by say asking "What do you think of oral sex?" and then go from there.

It sounds pretty unusual, I know thats never happened to me anyway. The only time semen ever burned was when I got it in my eye. So I would speculate that perhaps you are right in that it burns because you've irritated the tissue too much when giving oral. Try giving your throat a break for a little while, and next time you swallow don't prelude it with such vigorous motion or deep-throating; see if that helps.