Thank you all for your advice. It's suprising to see how many people agree with my husband. And we have more than just the oldest. I had twins in July of 05. They're boy/girl and they are exactly 16 months younger than their sister. Her bday is Mar.11,04 and theirs is July11,05. One of the hardest things I've had to deal with is that I'm his second wife and he does have a child by his first, even though legally he no longer has rights. He signed them away when after months of begging for time with the boy, she sent him to live with her sister in Washington state. But anyway, for awhile I was worried about losing him to her. Then I was worried about losing him to his ex-gf in Pennsylvania. Now I'm worried that I'll lose him to his brother's mistress with whom he now works. All his brother's women, both the exwives and a couple of girlfriends have wanted him. But I think that if we can find a babysitter and get by ourselves for little while and talk as suggested we can fix this. As for the porn, he has invited me to watch with him and I have once, but even if he was aroused, he didn't let me know and nothing came of it. I will take the suggestion to look through the educational DVDs and see if I find one that interests me. I will admit that I'm at the moment bi-curious. And one more thing, the way I was raised was that masturbation was evil and that I would die immediately and go to Hell. That women watching and getting turned on by porn was evil and I would die and immediately go to hell. My mother did try to talk sex with me and my brother, but I still don't and won't. My grandmother is the one who told me I would go to Hell and she treated sex as a four lettered word. If she talked about it at all she whispered and she wouldn't even say the word, she just spelled it. So I've been misguided most of my life by il-informed people. I didn't even explore different intercourse positions until I met my husband. Again thank you all and your suggestions will help and some already have.