bendme

I've never thought of myself as bi-curious or bi-anything... since I've always had relationships with and have always been attracted to men. But I find myself in a relationship with a woman now, albeit it long distance... and the funny thing is... I don't look at women now, and say omg I want her. Yet when I talk to or video call with this woman... god she makes me sooooo wet and I want her sooo bad. So I don't really know what to consider myself. It's pretty confusing for me. I am not attracted to women in general at all... but this ONE woman god, I want her and think of her ALL the time. We've met once and it was a fantastic mind blowing experience. We're meeting up again in 7 days for the second time ever. I can't wait to have another mind blowing experience with her. So what would I be?? bi- curious? or just bi-for this ONE woman?? IDK. I don't ever see my attraction to her going away... and I am definitely not attracted like I am with her to other women... sooo hmmmm..IDK..Oh well... does it really matter? I think not, as long as I'm happy. That's all that matters. Thougts on this?? Can you be attracted to ONE person of the same sex and not be bi?? Or are you bi if you have thoughts for anyone of the same sex?? Just throwing this out there to hear some thoughts on this.

59 % pure.... hmmm

My dad gets poison "whatever" every single year. He's tried everything to get rid of it. All the over the counter products don't do anything for him. We discovered by accident that PHELS NAPTHA -the old fashioned bar of soap *found in the laundry detergent aisle* works great to dry it up. You lather it up really good in your hands and spread that soapy lather all over the poison ivy, oak, sumac. Put it on sorta thick and then just let it sit there and dry on your skin. I'm not too sure about your more sensitive areas if it would sting or not, maybe do a little test patch area first to know for sure. I know my dad swears by the stuff. Good luck and hope your itching stops soon.

WOW everyone I'm really shocked at the replies. It's my first writing and i was really nervous about posting it. Thank you for the wow's and encouragement to write more... I have something in the works right now... a continuation of our weekend. I'll be posting it soon i hope. Thanks again everyone, I'm really pleased by the replies. PS: otm4u--- god baby...you KNOW what happens next, and yes i do bite your lower lip, and so much more. giggle..... GILY

Things make me crazy in my head. Things I want to do to you. Things I want to make you feel. Things I want to hear, smell, touch, and feel. Things I dream about. Things I wish could happen. Things that will happen the next time we meet. We make it thru the door, by some damn miracle, with our clothes still on. The elevator ride was torture. God, how I wanted you right there and then. The scent of you drove me wild. Your eyes, your lips, your breasts heaving when I kissed you, pressing so hard against me making me want to rip your shirt off to dine on your erect nipples. It had me so wet, so wet that I could feel my juices oozing out of me, bubbling past my lips into my panties soaking them. The door closes behind you. Not one second after that happened I have you pinned up so hard against the door and we are ravaging each others mouths. Heads thrashing and turning every which way, sucking, licking, kissing so passionately. Our hands clasped in each others so hard, our bodies pressing, grinding, humping into each other. Both of us are growing wetter and wetter by the second. Delirious moans flowing from our throats. Our pussies are dripping, aching, needing to be touched so badly. I move your hands above your head and start kissing down your silky soft neck. God, your body shudders sending another wave of fire straight to my dripping wet pussy. You’re bucking into me so hard now. My teeth find the buttons on your blouse. I take each one into my mouth, bite it, and rip it clean off. I tell you to keep your hands up above your head or else. A sexy grin forms on your delicious lips and you shake your head. “What are you doing to me, you’re driving me wild. Fuck me already, God, just please fuck me, I can’t wait any longer” you say. I press my mouth to your ear and whisper, “No baby, I want to play with you for a while. I want to drive you out of your mind. I want to hear you beg me to fuck you because you can’t stand it one second longer.” You groan, close your eyes and a lazy smile forms as you drift off into heaven. Your shirt is open now and I run my hands up your sides around to your back. I draw you into me and surround your breasts with my mouth. The way your body is writhing and heaving into my mouth makes me suck and lick your nipples harder. I take one into my teeth and give it a slow tug, stretching it out until you moan and squeal. God your nipples are so erect and begging for my mouth, seeing you with your hands above you, your head twisting from side to side, the way you’re biting at your lower lip when I pull on your nipples with my teeth sends me to the moon. As I dine on your flesh, sucking and twisting your nipples with my tongue, my hands find their way down to the front of your jeans. I unbutton them, slowly unzip them and God how you buck forward urging me on. Your eyes are still closed and you are panting now, you’re panting and saying, take me now, God, please take me now, I can’t stand it, I need you in me… god please. Hearing you say this makes me smile and cream my pants. Tiny little spasms are throbbing in my pussy hearing you beg me to take you. But I’m not ready yet. I haven’t even seen your clean shaven pussy yet, and God how I want to play there before we become connected. My hands slide behind your back and under your jeans, pushing into your skin as I slide denim down your ass. You’re moaning like mad now, bucking into me, throwing your chest into my slurping mouth. God we’re so hungry for each other. I’m not sure how long I can wait, you’re driving me crazy. Finally I get your jeans down to where you practically jump out of them and kick them across the room. In doing so your hands come off the door and grip my hair so tight, ripping my head back as you kiss my neck so deep. My turn, you growl in my ear. And the next thing I know I’m being slammed up against the door myself. God, the power in you is shocking. It makes me shudder and ooze. You grab my wrists and pin them above my head, your body leans into mine and your knee comes forward and spreads my leg out to the side. You’re grinding into me and I’m bucking against you. Your kiss is so deep that it’s taking my breath away. You grab my shirt and rip it off of me. God, so fucking hot. You reach behind my back and undo my bra and slip it off my shoulders and release my breasts. You are attacking my breasts before my bra even hits the ground. Jesus you bite them so hard making me squeal and cry out. I try to push away from the door a little and you slam me back into it and tell me it’s YOUR turn to play. God this turns me on so much that you are taking charge. The feel of you biting and pulling on my nipples sends shivers through my entire body. We’re in the middle of an all out ravaging and hands are flying everywhere now. I start to back you up towards the bed while you are frantically undoing my pants. I’ve got my arms wrapped so tight around you and as soon as I kick off my pants I pick you up and throw you on the bed. You bounce a little and just start laughing and hold out your hand for me to join you. I reach out and put my hand in yours. You lay back, spread your legs and put my hand on your pussy and say, make me beg, God, make me scream, I’m yours do what you will but god, please hurry. I smile and lean over you with my hand on your pussy rubbing and inserting fingers and kiss you so deep that we all but stop and die from how crazy our heads are for one another. Your pussy is dripping wet and my fingers are sliding all around. Rubbing your clit and diving into your wet hole. I’m kissing you and you’re panting into my mouth reacting to what my hand is doing to you. Deeper you moan, and I drive my fingers deep into you. Now what I ask, Fuck me you say, fuck my pussy so hard baby, god fuck me now. My fingers start sliding into you in a rhythmic way. Out slow and slamming back in so hard and deep. Your hips are bucking so hard trying to match my movements. God, your pussy is so tight wrapped around my fingers. My heart can’t take it anymore I need to have you in me too fucking me with your fingers. Our lips part for a split second and I gasp that I want you and need to feel you in me. You reach your hand to the side and grab DH and the bullet. You reach down and I can feel it between our legs. I lift my body up just a little bit and let you insert it into your pussy while I take it and insert it into mine. God it’s so big and it fills us to the max. At first we just let it fill us and we don’t move a muscle we just kiss and let it fill our pussies. I look into your eyes and I’m lost with the love I feel for you. I begin kissing you so tenderly and you return my kisses but you begin to grind just a little with your hips. Damn, every muscle you move I can feel that in me filling me deeper and deeper. It feels so good to be connected with you like this. I grind my hips a little trying to match you and we slowly start fucking each other. Our eyes locked onto one another’s, our souls connected, no words need to be spoken. I reach my hand down and hold it and start thrusting into you with long deep slow strokes, and your hips are bucking up thrusting into me. God it feels so good to be fucking you and to have you fucking me at the same time. We start to sweat and pant and just bump and grind in every direction. God I’m fucking you so hard and so deep now and you’re screaming faster, faster god, fuck me faster. You turn on the bullet and press it to my clit and god, it sends me over the edge. I start coming instantly, my pussy is throbbing and convulsing and coming so fucking hard. Hearing me screaming and cuming sends you to driving up into me harder and faster. You roll me over and start slamming into me. You feel your own orgasm coming and you have the bullet pressed so hard into my clit that I’m out of my head having one orgasm after another. You pull out so slow and slam back in so deep. God I love the feel of your tummy on mine, I love how your skin is touching mine, I love how you are fucking me and sending me into outer space. I love how I can feel your body quiver and your breath catch as you cum so hard. Your pussy is spasming and convulsing so unbelievably hard that it pushes out DH and your cum squirts all over the bed. We both crash totally spent onto one another and fall into a comfortable silence and just listen to our pants become slow calm breaths. We are in heaven and that’s only the beginning of our weekend together.

Thank you all for your replies. This was a very hard topic for me to post about. Thank you for helping me to realize that I'm not crazy. For a while I thought that maybe my T was right that it didn't happen the way I remember it. A lot of stuff happened during the hours and hours he held me captive. I just can't understand why my T would insist that it's not possible. I've gone through a number of T's and this one is the only one in the area trained in traumatic sexual assaults... so now I'm not really sure what to do. I'm not really sure what else to say here... thank you for reading and thank you for the hugs. oh, one thing that struck me as odd is that someone said that coke on the penis is used to numb the sensation for a guy. it's always bothered me why he would enter me with coke on his penis. i've been wracking my brain as to why he would do this. I know the feeling I had, terrible burning and OMFG orgasms that went on and on, but what would he get from doing that if coke is supposed to numb the sensation for him? I don't understand. Why would he do that? I'm just so confused about this. Anyway, thanks again for your replies.

I've been working some things in therapy and one thing that my T said I totally disagree with b/c I have experienced it first hand, and what she says has me confused. So I thought I would come here to get expert knowledge and input and ummm clarification. First a little background so you get the whole picture. UGH.. big breath... last year I was assaulted in a pretty sadistic and horrific way by someone who I trusted to never hurt me as he proved it many many times before. My T asked me how many times he ejaculated during the whole ordeal. I guess my answer was too unbelievable to her b/c she went on to say that's physically impossible. Men can't ejaculate that many times in one ummm "session". My first thought was, well then you've had some shitty sex in your life because I've encountered 4+ times during previous encounters. Of course I didnt say that but ya. During that nightmare he entered me with cocaine on his penis. I told her about that b/c it's a major issue for me how my head/body could be thinking/feeling that intense insane omfgggggggggggggggg wow more more more continuous MONSTER orgasms feeling while he was hurting me. OK so won't get into that whole thing. My question is: Men can cum more then say 4 times in one "session"... right? I'm not crazy right?? It did happen, can happen, does happen. It's physically possible right?? Why would she be so insistant that it's not possible? Does she not believe me? Or is it that she has no experience with that? Perhaps the bigger question is.... was it the coke that made him go off so many times? I would really like some feedback on this. If anyone has experience with the coke thing, as I have zero experience with that drug, could that be the reason for him going off so many times? Any input on that part of it would really help me out, b/c i just can't wrap my head around what my mind and body were thining/doing while he was umm hurting me. thank you.

Thank you all for your posts. Here's an update on what ended up happening. Howard we did end up talking and choosing a toy together, which we bought here at too timid, a double header. First I have to say that I had a blast with my friend. The whole experience was just mind blowing. I'm not worried about labels anymore. She and I got a hotel room together and spent the entire weekend, well most of the weekend, naked and enjoying exploring each other's bodies. Things in the beginning were a little awkward to say the least but after talking and just cuddling things progressed to sensual kissing and hands exploring everywhere. She loved when I sucked on her lower lip and the moans she let out drove me wild. Our soft skin pressed into each other, breasts against breasts, tummies breathing into one another, kissing so deep, and a bullet on our clits as we ground into one another, my God. We kissed each other all over every inch, fingers found their way to deliciously wet places, teeth nibbled nipples and gently pulled and sucked. After this wonderous connection we felt it made it so much easier to do the things I was so nervous about doing. My God, I just took my time like Mikayla suggested, and it was so easy to make her lift those hips off the bed, I just did what I liked and what I could hear her moans and hips grinding into my face told me to do. She tasted so sweet I could have dined on her pussy alone and I would have been happy. I waited so long before I put my fingers into her and God did she like that, like building up to the point of I would lose my mind if I couldn't feel her pussy wrapped around my fingers. I fucked her slowly with the DH, my fingers and my tongue and she did the same to me. God did she do the same to me... she had me screaming and panting and cumming so hard. We didn't have any trouble working the DH and my god it was amazing to feel so connected with her like that. I think my fav. part was when she flipped me over and fucked me doggie with the double header we now call DT (double trouble)... God, she did everything I asked her to do, went hard and fast when I wanted to be slammed, went slow while I had the bullet pressed into my clit so hard, she even spanked me when I asked her to and OMG did that send me over the edge. I have never in my life come so hard, I swear I couldn't move for the longest time. We colapsed together happy and exhausted and feeling the weight of her on me just had me in heaven, and the way she carressed my hair and kissed my neck....mmmmmmmm. I've never felt so connected before in my life, like she knew what was in my soul and the feel of her heart beating against mine told me that this is not a lust thing. I can't get her out of my head, or the scent of her out of my soul... I ache to be with her again. Time will tell if that will be possible. All I can say is who made weekend's only 2 days b/c 2 days was just not enough time with her.

See that's the thing Tyger...I totally consider myself straight. The words bi-curious or bi-sexual scare me. I'm don't mean that as an insult to anyone who is but I've never considered myself "bi" anything. I've never had to consider that b/c I've always had relationships and been very attracted to men. So being attracted to this woman is really throwing me for a loop. She's not a lesbian or bi-anything. We've gotten close and have shared some extremely deep things with each other. We feel safe with each other, comforted, and share some horrible experiences which is how we started talking in the first place. She's told me she feels the same way about me and is just as confused as I am about our feelings towards each other. God, when I think of her all I want to do is hold her and kiss her and explore every inch of her body while she does the same to me. Thank you Mikayla for your post it was very informative. It does help but I wonder if there are any toys in particular that would be fun to use with each other since we both like the feeling of a man IN us. I'm curious how a double headed dildo would be or work? I mean, does one person pump away or do you both pump at the same time? Which one would be best a bent one or the straight ones. God, I can't believe I'm thinking of using one with a woman, but I can't ignore or control my desire to be with her. Since I've only ever been with a man I don't know how to use a double headed dildo or give oral to a woman. It scares me a lot that when we are together that I won't be able to pleasure her or that she'll do something to trigger me and I'll flip out. Having these feelings for her has thrown me for a loop. But I really want to be with her and I guess I'm looking for any stories about anyone's experience with being with a woman and what toys they used and what is the best way to use them. Or if there are any sites or stories that could help us or give us ideas on the how to's, it would be a huge help and maybe would ease our nervousness. Thanks.

Ive never had thoughts about wanting another woman. I've met someone and I am thinking about her all the time. I don't understand this, it's so not me. I love men, always have, but these thoughts of wanting to sleep with this woman are just overwhelming me. I get so wet when I talk to her. I don't know what to do with what is in my head or how my pussy throbs when I simply hear her voice. God, this is so NOT like me. I could really use some advise or input on this matter. Is what I'm feeling normal? Does it mean I'm all of a sudden gay for wanting to have sex with a woman? Something that scares me is IF we do take this to the next level... I wouldn't even know HOW to have sex with a woman. I guess I'm really embarrassed to ask for help with this. Can anyone share experiences with me? Or give me some tips on how to have sex with a woman? I'm really looking for more then just do what feels comfortable and you'll be fine. I'm looking for the HOW TO's. Thanks.

Thank you all for your replies. This is going to be really hard for me to get this out and if it is inappropriate please could a mod delete it. I'll try to answer some questions first. There have been no medical changes, some weight loss but not a whole lot maybe 10-15 lbs. I'm not on any medication. I'm not married and am not in a relationship at the moment. I really think stress is a factor, as I was assaulted by my x-bf not too long ago. My head is just all sorts of messed up. I am in counselling for the assault. My therapist has suggested that when I feel a body memory or flashback coming on that I try to touch myself so that I can concentrate on it being MY hands that are touching me and that is is ME who is in control of my body. The problem is when I masturbate I have trouble seperating things. Some times are easier than other times. It's the easier times that I have those slow orgasms. During the assault he was getting me so close to orgasm and then stopping stim, then getting me so close again and stopping... that went on for a long while.... it was maddening. While I had had consentual sex with him a zillion times it was that time that I didn't want it, we were over, done, broken up....and he had me feeling like I wanted it so badly, that orgasm I mean, my body needed it so badly. There is a lot of shame there that I could want to have that release while he was hurting me. God, this is so hard to ask for help in this area. But I am a very sexual person and I don't want what happened to ruin the enjoyment I've always had with my own body. I really feel like I have to be able to pleasure myself in order to heal from this and move past it. (I hope that came out the way I mean it) I feel broken, like my body is broken. I just really want my body back, I want to be able to enjoy my orgasms again. I know this isn't a board for "survivors", it's a board for questions about sexuality. And so, my question is how do I get back in tune with my body and get my raging orgasms back, I really miss them. Sorry if this is the wrong forum to ask such a question. but I am trying really hard to reclaim my sexuality. Anyone one have any tips that they can share with me? Thank you and please forgive me if I have offended anyone.

Lately, when I have an orgasm it's not like it used to be. I used to have huge, fast, spasming, full blown orgasms. Now all of a sudden I've lost that intensity, those speedy delicious mind blowing contractions. It's just so slow now and not as intense, my God I miss the way I used to orgasm. Don't get me wrong because it still feels good but just not as great as it used to feel. I'm not old by any means and I'm in great physical condition, perhaps stress is playing a role here, I don't know. All I know is I want my mind blowing, back arching orgasms back. Does anyone have any idea what I'm talking about here? Does anyone have slower orgasms? Hmmm, I wonder if slower orgasms is even the right way to describe it. It's making me feel like I'm crazy or defective. I guess I'm also asking if anyone can notice the difference in the types of orgasms that they have? Fast, Slow, Raging, or Meek. I'm stuck in slow and meek and I crave and want my fast and raging orgasms back.... can anyone help me? I'm really at a loss here. It's starting to freak me out.

Thank you for the welcome. Its kind of a long story why we broke up. But I did make that list (thanks Katprr) and realized I'm being too jealous and critical of him at times, but with very good reasons. I haven't taken him back and I'm not sure now, after reading the list, if I will at all. Thanks for helping me to see that there is more to life than just the penis. The man attached to that penis is a factor too, I have to remember that and do what makes me happy and content, truly heart and soul happy. And sometimes his habits made me miserable. So I feel in general that I did the right thing in ending it. I cant stay with a person who cant help himself. But I don't know what I would do if he did stick with sobriety, i mean, I would want to take him back b/c i really do care for him. But I can't deal with not knowing if he would revert back to his old ways. So for now, I'm going to be doing some shopping I guess. For new toys and heh who knows maybe a new relationship. I think I may need a little time for the latter though. Sending a big thanks to Mikayla for reminding me that I should not lower my standards, and no matter how good the sex was I deserve more of/from him, more then just great and mindblowing sex. So thanks again. You both have helped me so much already.

Hello everyone, Just wanted to pop in and say hello. Can't wait to get a chance to meet ya'll. I have enjoyed what I've read so far. Great site with lots of wonderful advise. Hope I can contribute a little. I'm recently single but I have a feeling I may cave in a take him back. Not too sure I can stand life and sex without his well endowed manhood. hee hee.