Shameless1

Has anyone had any experience or knowledge about testosterone replacement? My hubby has ED and has been to his regular doc and a urologist. There are physical issues with valves and a small area of thickened tissue that can get sore but I think we could cope with them if it wasn't for his sex drive being so low. He has so little interest in sex that it took him 2 months to even want to bother trying the free viagra sample he was given by the urologist. He came twice in one night for the 1st time in 15 years but the success didn't leave him any more interested in sex than he was before and the rest of free viagra has gone unused. He says the urologist told him men's testosterone levels have been dropping so a decrease in interest isn't unusual. Of course I feel there's a big difference between low interest and no interest. I showed hubby a video on WebMd that described testosterone gel that's rubbed on the shoulders once a day if blood work shows the levels really are low. He says he thinks hormones are dangerous and doesn't want to go back to either doc to inquire about it. I'm trying to be loving and supportive but it looks like it's going to take an ultimatum on my part to get him to go back in and I hate to go to that extreme if the treatment isn't a great option. Thanks

So if you masturbate with someone other than your spouse but there is no contact is it cheating or just another form of masturbation?

My husband and I have been together for 22 years. We had problems from the start with different ideas about frequency, sometimes him wanting more and sometimes myself wanting more. We even went through many years with no sex at all. Like you and your husband he is my best friend, we have been through a lot together. We have so much shared history now that I can't imagine leaving. But the sex life is still the weakest part of our relationship. Aging has added physical problems neither of us anticipated. The Urologist says my husband's low sex drive and 2 ED issues aren't treatable. Unless you want to become the queen of masturbation like I have you need to work this problem out. Of course there are times when stress and money worries take their toll on your sex life. But if this has been a problem year after year you may need to think seriously about whether this is the way you want to spend the rest of your life. If I had known a few years into my marriage what I know now I'm not at all sure we'd have stayed married. Sex is such a basic need, almost like eatting or breathing, and believe me it doesn't let you go over time. It's always possible that our husband will come around but staying 'frustratedashell' is a real possibility. I'm sorry if this is a bitter pill to swallow but I wish someone had been this straight with me back when I was younger. Too many well meaning friends gave me the it'll all work out pep talk.

Men and women have their sexual peaks at very different ages. At 48 I'm more phsyically hungry now than I've ever been at any other time in my life. At 52 Beloved Hubby has much less interest and some medical issues. If it weren't for masturbation I couldn't remain the faithful spouse I am. Besides the orgasms now are just incredible! Not only are they very intense but it seems the more there are the more there can be. Give me a day at home alone and 4 is not unusual...6 is my personal best so far. The only down side it does make it hard to get anything done on a day off!

Thanks for the great info everyone...and such a quick response! My Hubby and I each buy toys from various places and we disgard the packaging once we've tried them a couple of times to make sure they work. So at this point most of the items in our toy box are of unknown origin and the only names they have are the nicknames we've bestowed upon some of the favorites. As for playing it safe by sticking with the water based lubes we really do need the slickest products we can use. Hubby has ED issues (seen doc and Urologist, it's a valve problem and there isn't much to be done) so very slick lube can make the difference between great and painful for him. But the need to be certain about what our toys are made of sounds like a great excuse to continue to add to the collection anyway! Thanks again, 2Shameless

We just got a hot tub and I ordered some waterproof lube for sex and toy use while soaking. The info about the lube says it's silicone based and should not be used with silicone toys. This may sound silly but how do I know what my toys are made of? Some are like clear jellies, some are cyberskin, most are rubbery mystery plastics. If I accidently mix silicone with silicone what will happen? Needless to say I don't want to gum up the new tub or my play parts!