coffee-girl

I think that with porn, sometimes it's the scenarios that we relate to, and the gender of the characters becomes a non-issue. Plus, with lesbian porn, women can relate to both parties on screen. But what do I know, I really don't watch porn.

My ex-bf used to enjoy the sensation of his penis hitting my cervix. Me, not so much. I think I have mentioned this elsewhere, but when a woman is properly aroused, her vagina will widen and lengthen, and her cervix will actually lift. So, with my ex, there were times when he would and wouldn't hit my cervix, even if we were in the same position.

I don't even own any porn, but there's something about Mark Davis that makes me want to see his work.

Is anyone here a fan of Mark Davis? His imdb info is here. Just curious if anyone here could suggest a title of his.

When that kind of pressure builds up for me, the only way that I can release it is through an orgasm (or by excusing myself to the bathroom). Given my ex-bf's incredible stamina and my inability to orgasm during sex, there were times when the pressure was just too much, and it was truly uncomfortable. So, yes, there were times when I would have to excuse myself for a moment. Plus, sexpert Sue Johanson claims that a g-spot orgasm can produce up to two quarts of fluid. Two quarts!

I've always had a hard time reaching orgasm, but when I do, I almost always squirt. But this just started maybe two years ago. The first time that it happened, I was actually using a vibrating facial massager. Since its shape was kind of round and flat, to get maximum contact, I was on my back, my knees were bent but out to each side, my feet flat against each other. (does that make sense?) I'm not sure if it had to do with the facial massager or the position of my legs, but I squirted, and from clitoral stimulation alone. Come to think of it, since that first time, I've used other more traditional vibes, but got in the habit of that same leg position. Maybe that does have something to do with it. Also, even though I use a vibe, it still takes anywhere from 15-30 minutes for me to orgasm. So, maybe extended play would help? Bringing yourself to the brink a few times before actually climaxing?

My ex said he's had a lot of bad BJ's. I found that surprising. Granted, people enjoy different techniques, but with the right communication (verbal/non-verbal) I think that anyone can cater their usual style to fit the situation. Right? So, that led to this theory. If someone is truly horrible at oral, it's because they don't want to do it. The person you are with will probably ask you to stop and/or won't ask for a repeat performance in the future. It's just a theory, mind you.

When a woman is properly aroused, her vaginal canal will actually lengthen and widen. So, I would make sure that your partner is sufficiently warmed up before penetration. Also, due to your size, some positions might be more comfortable than others. With my ex, there would be times where he would just pound against my cervix - it was very uncomfortable.

Here's some detailed information about the Sexual Response cycle. Knowing how far along you get may offer some insight: The First Phase of Sexual Response Excitement can last for just a few minutes or extend for several hours. Characteristics of this phase include: an increasing level of muscle tension, a quickened heart rate, flushed skin (or some blotches of redness may occur on the chest and back), hardened or erect nipples, and the onset of vasocongestion, resulting in swelling of the woman's clitoris and labia minora and erection of the man's penis. Other changes also occur. In the woman, the vaginal walls begin to produce a lubricating liquid, her uterus elevates and grows in size, and her breasts become larger. At the same time, the woman's vagina swells and the muscle that surrounds the vaginal opening, called the pubococygeal muscle, grows tighter. These changes prepare the woman's body for orgasm and were called the "orgasmic platform" by Masters and Johnson. Additional changes in men include elevation and swelling of the testicles, tightening of the scrotal sac, and secretion of a lubricating liquid by the Cowper's glands. The Second Phase of Sexual Response Also known as the plateau, this phase is characterized primarily by the intensification of all of the changes begun during the excitement phase. During this period, the woman's clitoris may become so sensitive that it is painful to the touch. The plateau phase extends to the brink of orgasm, which initiates the reversal of all of the changes begun during the excitement phase. During the second phase, called the expulsion phase, the urinary bladder closes to block the possibility of urine mixing with the semen. At this point, muscles at the base of the penis begin a steady rhythmic contraction that finally expels the semen from the urethral opening at the head of the penis. The Third Phase of Sexual Response The peak of sexual excitement is reached during the third phase. Involuntary muscle contractions, heightened blood pressure and heart rate, rapid intake of oxygen, sphincter muscle contraction, spasms of the carpopedel muscles in the feet, and sudden forceful release of sexual tension characterize the orgasmic phase. For men, orgasm generally climaxes in the ejaculation of semen, which contains millions of sperm. Ejaculation consists of two steps. During the first phase, called the emission phase, seminal fluid builds up in the urethral bulb of the prostate gland. As the fluid accumulates, the male senses he is about to ejaculate. This is often experienced as inevitable and uncontrollable. For women, orgasm also consists of rhythmic muscle contractions, in this case of the uterus, at about the same pace as in men. Tightening of the woman's muscles puts pressure on the man's penis and assists in male orgasm. For both sexes, barring the presence of some form of sexual dysfunction, orgasm is an intensely pleasurable experience. Indeed, some see it as the most pleasurable experience possible. The Final Phase of Sexual Response In this phase, the resolution, the body returns to normal levels of heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, and muscle contraction. Swelled and erect body parts return to normal and skin flushing disappears. The resolution phase is marked by a general sense of well being and enhanced intimacy and possibly by fatigue as well. Many women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasmic phase with minimal stimulation and may experience continued orgasms for up to an hour. Males, especially as they age, experience a refractory period of varying duration after orgasm. During this period, men cannot achieve orgasm, although partial or full erection may sometimes be maintained. The duration of the refractory period can vary from just a few minutes to several days and there is great variability in the length of the refractory period both within and between men. Copyright 2002 Sinclair Intimacy Institute

Since I am in the same boat, I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. In my case, I really think that testosterone deficiency is to blame. First, some facts: ● 80-85% of all women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm (as Mikayla said) ● The clitoris has the same amount of nerve endings as the penis (so it should be very sensitive) ● In women, testosterone is needed for clitoral/nipple sensitivity (it also affects interest, arousal, sexual response, lubrication, orgasm) Now, there are 4 stages in the sexual response cycle: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. If someone were able to reach the plateau (2nd) stage during sex, but couldn't orgasm - I would wonder about their mindset, explore different positions/techniques, etc... (sounds like they just need that extra little push) But, if someone (like me) weren't unable to get past the excitement (1st) stage, the issue may lie in something like diet, hormone levels, etc... Speaking of diet, after reading about the Orgasmic Diet, I looked a little closer at mine. I'm a vegetarian, so I tend to eat too many carbs and not enough protein. Also, when I do eat protein, it's often soy, which can kill libido! Who knew! So, I cut out the soy and the caffeine (damnit), cut down on the carbs, and bought some whey protein powder. It's been about a week now, and while I haven't really noticed an increase in my sex drive, I did have a ridiculously intense orgasm. It was with a toy, of course, but I haven't had an orgasm like that in years. Was it related to my change in diet? I don't know. I suppose time will tell.

Thanks for the PM, cristina. Since you're a virgin and somewhat new to toys, you may want to start with something simple. While Lilly and The Cone are popular, well-reviewed toys, starting smaller might be the way to go. I have the Silver Bullet: Silver Bullet Link It's great for clitoral stimulation and can be inserted as well. The speed is easy to adjust. I think it's a great toy if you're just starting out.

Sue Johanson called it one of the best toys of the year.

I'm not sure, but you may use it before any kind of sex/foreplay just to get you to that heightened state - and then remove it.

I saw this toy reviewed on Talk Sex with Sue. It's called the We-Vibe: What is it? Clitoris and g-spot vibe Made of slicone Flexible Waterproof Rechargeable Dual speed Can be worn alone or while making love $129.95 It's new, so I think I'm going to wait and read some of the reviews. Thoughts?