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If you are at a hotel or similar building how about telling him you are going out for some ice and then when you come back knock at the door and pretend you are the hotels masseuse and were sent up to give him a massage he will never forget.Plan ahead and have some special oils and things ready. Truly act like you have never met him and maybe while you are massaging him start taking some of your clothes off and rubbing yourself with the oils and then rub yourself on him. Sounds good to me. I am wondering when I can try it myself....The idea from Sunflower sounds great too. I read somewhere while you are eating dinner out touch yourself and get your own special scent on your fingers and then feed him some of your food, making sure he can smell or taste your fingers. Hope you have a wonderful time.

Usually in the bed, or on the couch in our bedroom. Sometimes in the shower to get me going if my DH is waiting on me.

I am new to this forum but I understand what you are getting at. I recently turned 34 and have been in overdrive for about a year and a half. At first it seemed like my body had been taken over by some stranger. It was all I could think about, I woke up wet and wanting it right then,which was not normal for me. At first I think he thought he had hit the lottery. My DH thought it was just a phase and went along with it pretty well for a couple of months before he said he couldn't keep up with me. I think he was so used to only being together a time or two a week that when I started practically rubbing on him every day it through him for a loop. We joked about it some and he called me his little sex addict . I actually asked the doctor at my check up if something was wrong with me and she said no that it was normal for this age and wanted to know if she needed to give me a prescription to show to him that I needed to have sex at least 3 times a week. I know, I have a great ob/gyn don't I ?? I know it is very frustrating. I just posted a few days ago about a lack of passion. After the replies I have gotten I think I may have been a little too tough on my DH. All I could think of is I am here, offering myself whenever he wants it,willing to do whatever he wants and he doesn't want me????? Doesn't he know how lucky he is???When in the past if I wasn't offering it, he wanted it. You know what they say Damned if you do, Damned if you don't. It's a mind thing because I got to thinking I didn't look good, or wasn't doing something right. Your mind is indeed a powerful thing. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good. I am glad you are feeling sexy though. I didn't for awhile and it messed me up.Slow and steady wins the race, or so I've heard. I tried to explain to my DH that even though I know he loves me and thinks I am sexy I need to hear it often. I guess I am just needy:) He says it is just a guy, girl thing. He said he knows I love him and he doesn't need to hear me say it every day to reaffirm it, that I show him every day by the things I do for him. We finally agreed it was just a difference in hormones........Wish you the best.

AK, I looove candles. As a matter of fact right now, this very minute I have 5 burning throughout my house. My favorite is the apple cinnamon scent. My DH loves a vanilla scent. Keep us posted.

And I wonder why I homeschool mine. It goes to show you never know what is going to happen once you drop your child off. Around here there is something in the paper or on the news every other day about guns being brought to school, teachers being shot, teachers being arrested, it is neverending. It is so different from even when I was in school. My niece who is 14 had to have police protection last year from drug dealers in the middle school when they got her in the the hall and was going to cut her up with a knife. So sad..... But I didn't mean to go off. I will have to agree though that woman couldn't have been thinking when she did that.

Thunderchild, it was great to read your reply. You are right, I should send him some pictures. I have seen several on his phone that his "friends" have sent. The funny thing is these guys have ate dinner at my table and know me and I would never have thought they would send a picture like that to my DH. We get a laugh out of it because if they only knew he lets me see them I think it would embarass them to no end. I should say something like "hey, I really liked that last picture, it really turned me on." I wish where we live I could have a little bit more freedom to go crazy wherever we want. I live next door to my in-laws whom I love dearly, but you never know when they are going to walk over. I am talking we have a trail through the woods from our house to theirs. It was funny that you wrote that because last night when he got home from work I was standing at the kitchen sink and he walked up behind me and started to rub on me and telling me how much he liked the way I looked in the shorts I had on and one of our kids came busting through the door. He mumbled a not so nice word and said he would get me later. Our kids are 7 and 10 and you never know when one of them are going to be running through the house. He made up for it last night though. We have the opposite problem about him cumming in my mouth. I get turned on and would love for him to lose control and go for it. I tried to get him to last night but he says even though he loves it and could go off easily he would rather do it in me. He says to him it feels better that way. I think I will bring him to this site and let him pick us something out. That way maybe he will feel like he has some say in what is going on. I love him dearly but I think it is so easy to get in a rut when you are so used to one another. I think he knows me better than I do sometimes. Pappy the idea of touching myself would go over well with him I'm thinking. He seems to really like that alot when we are together. Something else he seems to like is touching my butt when we are doing it. I am wondering if he would like to try that. He will stick his finger there and he gets really excited. I guess it is something we are going to have to look into. Another question. Is it usually a good thing to a man to do a strip tease and maybe a lap dance for him?? I think I would be nervous and embarrased but I have this fantasy that I am dressed up and I shove him in a chair and start stripping for him and doing to him things that I have only thought about. He does seem to really like it when I have on a dress and heels. He will just pull my dress up and make me bend over with everything on and my panties pulled down. I know some guys (my husbands friend i.e.) that don't like it that much. I guess to each his own. Thanks to everyone for all of the great ideas. We have tried some of them but some are new.

Thanks for the advice everyone. He does have a stressful job and I try to take that into account. We are both physically active and in decent fit shape. I guess sometimes I do have too high expectations. We have never done it up against the wall. I am thinking that is why I want him to do it. You are right, I will just have to let him know that that would do wonderful things for me ( and hopefully him ). He does try sometimes to make it different. This past Friday night our kids were away with friends for the night and we went to dinner and then found somewhere to pull over on the way home. It was not what we usually do which was a good thing. Every since then when I get in the truck and remember what we did it turns me on like crazy. I have hesitated buying any toys because I was afraid of what he would think. Is it a good idea to show him this web site and ask him to surprise me with something?? Or should I buy something and surprise him with it?? I love going down on him and that is no problem. Actually, maybe he is kind of spoiled in that way because I really can't think of a time we have done it and I haven't . He seems to really like that. But, he never goes down on me. I can only think of maybe a couple of times that he has. Is that something you should come right out and say "Hey would you???), or is that taboo?? I am very thankful for this site. Who else can you ask this stuff to?? It's great. I look forward to your replies.

Thanks to everyone for the advice. Mikayla,I guess I do kind of equate passion with sex. It seems our problem ( or mine) is both. Lack of sex and passion. He can go for a week, sometimes two at a time without. When we do have sex, I try to let him initiate it because I was feeling like I was constantly trying to. I bought the book The Great American Sex Diet because you and your partner are supposed to get a calendar and each of you pick like 2 days you are going to be responsible for initiating and coming up with how it is going to go down. It was a wonderful month. We taped the calendar to the back of our closet door and I got a kick out of reading what clues he left for me for Tuesday night when it was his turn. But after that month the calendar got took down and never put back up. I feel like he has gotten used to me to the point that he does the same thing every time. I can almost write it down. We have really had some in depth discussions about it. He says the books I am buying make him feel like nothing he does is right. I think that puts him off. I was just trying to spice things up. I have bought lingerie, we have done the cool whip thing, etc. We even subscribed to Playboy channel for a couple of months but it just seemed after a while it was all the same. I rented a room with a hot tub for our 16th anniversary and surprised him at work and picked him up. I had packed lingerie ,some wine coolers, candles, massage oil. After the hot tub I offered to rub his back with oil. There we were naked and he fell asleep. I am talking he didn't wake up until 6:00 the next morning. Sure, he tried to make it up to me then but by then I was hurt and not feeling it.Of course when you feel like you have to beg your husband for sex or affection you get to thinking you are doing something wrong, or you don't look like you used to. (who does after being together for 20 years??). He says that is not the problem, and jokes about the guy at the store in line that was checking me out until he got the look from my DH. I want him to walk in the door, grab me and start making out with me like there is no tomorrow. I am talking about tearing each others clothes off and doing it up against the wall because we can't make it to the bed passion!!!!Where did it go?? I am sorry I went off and wrote a novel. I am just trying to figure this thing out before I lose all interest and bury my sexuality so deep he will never have to worry about keeping up with me.

Hi all, I am new to this forum. Just wanted to ask if anyone out there besides me has problems telling their husbands they need more out of their sex lives? To make a long story short, we met when I was 14, he was 16. Married by the time I was 18, he was 20. Fast forward to being married now for 16 years. My DH is the only man I have ever kissed, or been intimate with and I have never had a problem with our sex lives until the past year. I read about other woman and their sex drives kicking in and going into overdrive and I would have to agree. He says he is having a hard time keeping up with me and that he is not 18 anymore. To which I say you are only 36, what man would turn down a chance to have sex with his wife at least every couple of days??? He says he doesn't see a problem but I am starting to feel a little desperate for some passion IN our marriage. Help!!!