This is really different for each man.....you're going to need to talk to your partner. Some like there head stroke more then the shaft, others like the shaft more then the head, some like it hard and fast, while others like slow ......one thing I do know is a good lube works wonders. Questions during fore play like: do you like this?, do you want it tighter?, would you like it faster? will guide you to doing it correctly.....but you can not be afraid to ask, you have to grab the bull by the horns. Remember he likes you because you are already naked.....jump in and don't be afraid to explore.