I Was An Internet Porn Star

[mystofpric]

So, in lieu of recent comments about the board being slow i figured it was time I shared something openly with y'all. From about June to October of this year I was a Web Cam Model. I would spend hours online flirting and chatting, and yes squirting, for pay and complete strangers across the interweb.

At first it was super fun and I really did want to share my new found fun, but I was also ashamed. I did tell a few of my close friends and gauged their reactions. It ranged from digust and disappointment to pride. Most people were shocked and proud for my new found level of self-esteem.

I started out doing this because I needed the extra cash and as you all know, I had just dropped a bunch of weight. I was RIDICULOUSLY proud of myself and wanted, no needed, the approval of the male sex, even if it was from random strangers.

It started out great, I had lots of regulars who hung on my every word, and not just about sex either. I had many intelligent conversations about books, and movies, politics (which really are better when your naked), and food. I would say that I made friends with some of these guys, and definitely my fellow models!

But it did get old. The constant masturbation as a job killed my sex drive. Not to mention the fact that I developed a few bacterial infections that I otherwise would never have known about (i obessed about washing EVERYTHING but you don't have to miss much before it gets bad.). Then there were the people who decided they wanted to act like they knew me. I had a stage name, a fake birthday, and a fake location but still people wanted to fuck with my head. Oy. Some people!

In the end I had to leave the lime light because it just wasn't paying the bills (i was on cam full time and recruiting and managing other models). I also moved in with roommates and gave up the required privacy for it. It is something that anyone and everyone could do. Self-esteem is only a small part of it as my self-esteem SKY ROCKETED after starting, I even started wearing make-up on a daily basis! Would I go back? Sure, but I'd need to make more money. Do I recommend it? Sure, why not?

[mailahn97]

Sweetie as I told you while you were doing it. If that was your choice I completely supported you. I don't like it when I am judged and will not do that to my friends either. You are a great person and friend no matter what path you decided to take.

Sorry about the issues you had to go through with the lovely world of the internet and the way people can be.

You are a great sexy woman....don't you forget that....as well as a great friend...lol...my lil sis.

[ManofHerdreams]

You go girl... My only disappointment is that you didn't tell us where to find you

[mystofpric]

Shorty! I know, and I love you and you were super cool about it when I told you! MWAH

I thought this might be an interesting topic for the boards and figured I'd put it out there

MoHD~ I did tell a few people where to find me, but I kinda didn't know if I should advertise myself on here, if that would be a conflict of interest and if I was comfortable with people knowing me as well as you guys do on here. Ya know?

[dscn]

it's ok girl we still love you and proud of you and your new body why not show it off you worked hard and it is a very sexy curvy body you have.

[vanilla_bean]

I always thought that kind of work could be empowering. Glad you got that out of it.

I'm not surprised that you had intelligent, fun conversations. You're an intelligent, fun person.

So you might not be an internet porn star at the moment, but you know you are a star just the same!

[mystofpric]

I always thought that kind of work could be empowering. Glad you got that out of it.

I'm not surprised that you had intelligent, fun conversations. You're an intelligent, fun person.

So you might not be an internet porn star at the moment, but you know you are a star just the same!

Awwww!!! It was a ton of fun and definitely something I recommend to anyone who has ever thought about it, seriously my self-esteem has never been higher!

[sun_flower969]

Awwww!!! It was a ton of fun and definitely something I recommend to anyone who has ever thought about it, seriously my self-esteem has never been higher!

Good for you girl!! I had heard a rumor about you doing sonething and I was interested!! but when I found out it was webcam... I went um... yeah no!

You are brave!!! I respect you completely!! :*

[Mikayla1]

WOW! SuzyP that is fantastic! I know a lot of people may judge you for that, but I think it is fantastic!

I may have a few questions regarding it, so look for a PM coming your way!

[Sunday]

So, in lieu of recent comments about the board being slow i figured it was time I shared something openly with y'all. From about June to October of this year I was a Web Cam Model. I would spend hours online flirting and chatting, and yes squirting, for pay and complete strangers across the interweb.

At first it was super fun and I really did want to share my new found fun, but I was also ashamed. I did tell a few of my close friends and gauged their reactions. It ranged from digust and disappointment to pride. Most people were shocked and proud for my new found level of self-esteem.

I started out doing this because I needed the extra cash and as you all know, I had just dropped a bunch of weight. I was RIDICULOUSLY proud of myself and wanted, no needed, the approval of the male sex, even if it was from random strangers.

It started out great, I had lots of regulars who hung on my every word, and not just about sex either. I had many intelligent conversations about books, and movies, politics (which really are better when your naked), and food. I would say that I made friends with some of these guys, and definitely my fellow models!

But it did get old. The constant masturbation as a job killed my sex drive. Not to mention the fact that I developed a few bacterial infections that I otherwise would never have known about (i obessed about washing EVERYTHING but you don't have to miss much before it gets bad.). Then there were the people who decided they wanted to act like they knew me. I had a stage name, a fake birthday, and a fake location but still people wanted to fuck with my head. Oy. Some people!

In the end I had to leave the lime light because it just wasn't paying the bills (i was on cam full time and recruiting and managing other models). I also moved in with roommates and gave up the required privacy for it. It is something that anyone and everyone could do. Self-esteem is only a small part of it as my self-esteem SKY ROCKETED after starting, I even started wearing make-up on a daily basis! Would I go back? Sure, but I'd need to make more money. Do I recommend it? Sure, why not?

Congratulations on feeling good about yourself. It's the first step to everything. I'm very happy for you!

So ... details! Dish on what the job is like from the inside - what you did, how you did it etc. What was a typical day or session or whatever like for you?

[sass]

Hey there my sex pet! I know you were fab at that job!

I think it is totally cool. Really! You know, I even thought about letting you recruit me, I just didn't have the time for it back then. I love ya, babe, and that won't change no matter what. AND, I TOLD YOU that you are a hottie! It took the worldwide web to confirm it for you, but I knew it all along!

[Tyger]

Suzy,

I am not at all shocked, nor disappointed in you. What people choose to do is their own personal business. Hell, before I got married the second time, I'd lost some weight, and had a new sexual freedom feeling too, &, with a friend, I submitted a few pix to adult magazines, and even won a contest too doing that.

The only thing that I had to do, which I didn't think of until my new BF at the time (now my hubby), that I'd done that. I admitted to it cuz he said his father was a porn afficiando, and I sure as hell didn't want to hear his father say "Wow, I recognize you, I think. Wasn't that you with.................You look better without clothes."!! LOL

Just remember people, it's your choice, but once on the internet, even if it's on a cam, people can save, print, and reuse that stuff, for YEARS to come, so think of it as permanent, just like mine is. LOL

[Smile4Me]

Holy crap Suzy! I never would have guessed! You sneaky little thing, you! hahaha! You know, I've actually thought about that before; about how liberating and fun it would be to try it out. Kind of like being a stripper, I think that would be so empowering, if I had the body for it. It's good you shared that with everyone! I think most TooTimid people refrain from unnecessary judgments, just because everyone has different desires, and different things they want out of life. I would be the last person to judge anyone on anything, because let's face it, I'm no angel, and I'm sure some people would be shocked at what I've done before

Go girl!

Oh, and btw, I thought we were getting married? You don't love me anymore?! LOL

Have a good one girl, you know where to find me!

Sam

[SensualWoman]

Wow! I wish I had the self-esteem to do THAT! Also, if I did, I think DH would probably kill me. If you felt good at the time, don't regret it.

[mystofpric]

WHOA! Sam who called the wedding off?! Okay so I'l drunk off my ass right now so someone remind me to respond tomorrow, well later today.

[mystofpric]

Holy crap Suzy! I never would have guessed! You sneaky little thing, you! hahaha! You know, I've actually thought about that before; about how liberating and fun it would be to try it out. Kind of like being a stripper, I think that would be so empowering, if I had the body for it. It's good you shared that with everyone! I think most TooTimid people refrain from unnecessary judgments, just because everyone has different desires, and different things they want out of life. I would be the last person to judge anyone on anything, because let's face it, I'm no angel, and I'm sure some people would be shocked at what I've done before

Go girl!

Oh, and btw, I thought we were getting married? You don't love me anymore?! LOL

Have a good one girl, you know where to find me!

Sam

Okay, now that I'm sober! Sam doll, you do have the body for it, everyone does. See the great thing about porn like this is that i learned that the typical "porn body" ISN'T what the customers want. I mean if they did they'd just watch regular porn (it's much cheaper that way), no the guys and girls for that matter, want a real woman with something more than just T&A. I personally STILL hate my body, yeah, I still have a terrible self body image and did while I was working on there. Most days I'd be 100% okay and at terms with my body, but at least once a week I worries if I looked fat, and yet between the customer telling me how great I looked and the other models saying the same I began to believe them. Yes you have the rude few, I think in 4 months or so I came across 10 tops, but a) the other customers defend you and you know they are just trying to piss you off.

Now the boyfriend/husband situtation is tougher. Most guys, shockingly enough, are okay with it because it's virtual. The problem they have is that most of us tell our customers we're single (in my case it was the truth). SO they get upset with being denied or thats when they start to get jealous.

[mystofpric]

Holy crap Suzy! I never would have guessed! You sneaky little thing, you! hahaha! You know, I've actually thought about that before; about how liberating and fun it would be to try it out. Kind of like being a stripper, I think that would be so empowering, if I had the body for it. It's good you shared that with everyone! I think most TooTimid people refrain from unnecessary judgments, just because everyone has different desires, and different things they want out of life. I would be the last person to judge anyone on anything, because let's face it, I'm no angel, and I'm sure some people would be shocked at what I've done before

Go girl!

Oh, and btw, I thought we were getting married? You don't love me anymore?! LOL

Have a good one girl, you know where to find me!

Sam

Okay, now that I'm sober! Sam doll, you do have the body for it, everyone does. See the great thing about porn like this is that i learned that the typical "porn body" ISN'T what the customers want. I mean if they did they'd just watch regular porn (it's much cheaper that way), no the guys and girls for that matter, want a real woman with something more than just T&A. I personally STILL hate my body, yeah, I still have a terrible self body image and did while I was working on there. Most days I'd be 100% okay and at terms with my body, but at least once a week I worries if I looked fat, and yet between the customer telling me how great I looked and the other models saying the same I began to believe them. Yes you have the rude few, I think in 4 months or so I came across 10 tops, but a) the other customers defend you and you know they are just trying to piss you off.

Now the boyfriend/husband situtation is tougher. Most guys, shockingly enough, are okay with it because it's virtual. The problem they have is that most of us tell our customers we're single (in my case it was the truth). SO they get upset with being denied or thats when they start to get jealous.

[admiraltolokus]

oh that must have been amazing for a while there! "politics (which really are better when your naked)" lmfao yes that is true, very true, my best poli sci essays were written after sex!

[mystofpric]

oh that must have been amazing for a while there! "politics (which really are better when your naked)" lmfao yes that is true, very true, my best poli sci essays were written after sex!

It was. I miss it actually and I'm thinking about going back into it. Besides the constant ego boosts, I also miss getting off so much! LOL Its not the same just doing it for yourself.

[crossroads123]

Shame on you girl----------------- you didn't let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kama]

Don't see anything wrong with it. I'm glad it helped your self-steem and you had fun for awhile. But, I can see how it would decrease your sex drive and it would get monotonous.