Orgasms- How To Do It? And Other Sex Questions

[Kayland]

I am new to TT. I have read basically like all the articles- (omygosh they are great!!)- some of them a few times. I need some advice on orgasms and letting go.

I dont feel sexually incompetent but I know i am somewhat conservative and inexperienced and i would like to open up more.- to develop my sexual personality.

I have major difficulty orgasming during sex (or foreplay for that matter) with my boyfriend. And actually its not a problem with just the current boyfriend but like all of them in the past as well- so i know its a "me" problem. I have not really ever orgasmed with a partner. On the rare occurrence i have but i believe they have all been really mild i mean nothing has ever knocked my socks off or anything.

and i have no problem going solo to do this- when i am alone. I have tried to masturbate with my boyfriend and still no go! I feel like my method for orgasming is not conducive to orgasming with a person. How can i get around this?

Here is another oddity. when i am with my boyfriend and he is fingering my gspot- my body puts out so much lubricant- and the feeling is VERY intense (like nothing i have ever felt before) but it never really reaches a final release- i never feel like i have orgasmed or anything. does a female orgasm when she produces ejaculate? how do i know if this is what i am doing? I have never put out that kind of liquid before this boyfriend.

Could i be missing the orgasms all together? When I am alone they are strong. I cant seem to replicate this with a man though. What to do?

frustrated,

Kayland

[square]

My wife will not orgasm from intercourse alone, so the routine we are in lately is that after I have my way with her, she'll get out the vibrator and I'll help with some finger action until she does orgasm.

Sometimes she'll go for another one (or more), and sometimes I help with a finger and other times not, and sometimes I step out of the room for a few minutes (to hit the head or check on the kids or something like that).

I think she's pretty comfortable with me by now, but for some reason, if I step out of the room she can get that orgasm in maybe a minute; but if I am in the room, whether I'm helping with a finger or not, it takes a lot longer, maybe 10 or 15 minutes sometimes, or she may just give up.

Go figure. I don't know why. She doesn't know why. Just the way it is.

======================

When your BF is fingering your G-spot, are you (or he) also doing clitoral stimulation?

My wife also finds the G-spot stimulation intense, and can produce a lot of stuff, but without clitoral stimulation (vibrator or oral), I doubt she would ever orgasm.

[Kayland]

Thanks for that. After reading your post and a few others today I realize I am not alone in my challenges and this encourages me to continue my efforts. I will try your suggestion- thanks for the tip!

[Mikayla1]

I am new to TT. I have read basically like all the articles- (omygosh they are great!!)- some of them a few times. I need some advice on orgasms and letting go.

The articles are great (if I do say so myself) but they are only a guide. You really have to become a practitioner of the suggestions that are made there and by others on forum who have weighed in.

I dont feel sexually incompetent but I know i am somewhat conservative and inexperienced and i would like to open up more.- to develop my sexual personality.

I have major difficulty orgasming during sex (or foreplay for that matter) with my boyfriend. And actually its not a problem with just the current boyfriend but like all of them in the past as well- so i know its a "me" problem. I have not really ever orgasmed with a partner. On the rare occurrence i have but i believe they have all been really mild i mean nothing has ever knocked my socks off or anything.

Not terribly surprising here. Many, many women can't orgasm during sex. Why? Well, for one 80-85% of all women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. When we are having sex with a partner, many of us feel 'inhibited' about touching our clitoris. I say, WHY? It is there for a reason, so use it. Have yourself touch it or your partner. IT will help you to orgasm.

and i have no problem going solo to do this- when i am alone. I have tried to masturbate with my boyfriend and still no go! I feel like my method for orgasming is not conducive to orgasming with a person. How can i get around this?

Not terribly surprising. Masturbation is a very taboo activity for many people - and - it is even more taboo to do it IN FRONT of someone. You are not concentrating on YOU and your pleasure, but instead on what HE is thinking or what HE is doing. That is a big problem for many women. My suggestion: since you indicate that you can orgasm effectively alone - it isn't that you don't know what you like or what works. So, try to relax and show your BF how to touch you. We all have certain speeds, pressures and spots that work for us - so show him what works. Think about how sexy it is to have your BF touching you in this very intimate way. Think of the pleasure of it, how much he wants you to feel good. Relax INTO the sensations. That is key - relaxing and enjoying.

Here is another oddity. when i am with my boyfriend and he is fingering my gspot- my body puts out so much lubricant- and the feeling is VERY intense (like nothing i have ever felt before) but it never really reaches a final release- i never feel like i have orgasmed or anything. does a female orgasm when she produces ejaculate? how do i know if this is what i am doing? I have never put out that kind of liquid before this boyfriend.

There is a difference between the lubricant and ejaculate. We have an 'A' spot in our vagina, toward the back, this causes the lubricant. It prepares us for sex, basically. Then, there is the G-spot. Now, the G-spot stimulation is very intense - and - for some women it is very hard to allow the feelings to come. Some women find it almost too intense to reach that orgasm - the pleasure is near painful. So, you may just be stopping short of the full orgasm. Believe me, if you have a G-spot orgasm, you will know it. The liquid is most likely coming from the G-spot - but - if you have a true G O you will know.

Could i be missing the orgasms all together? When I am alone they are strong. I cant seem to replicate this with a man though. What to do?

Be patient. If your bf is interested in your pleasure - and he seems to be - then it will come. Just take your time and try to relax into it. You'll get there.

frustrated,

Kayland

[jhard]

Hi Kayland,

Try this tip if you might. Buy a Hitachi Magic wand. Get some foreplay going with your fellow and when you feel aroused ride him (him lying down and you upright). Put the head of the magicwand against your clit. If your guy cums quickly get him off one time first before hand so he'll last longer for your ride! After you cum this way get on all fours and get him to do you from behind while you hold the magicwand against your clit again. It may help you to turn the lights down a bit. My wife did not orgasm at all until she was 38 yo or so. The magicwand is the toy of choice for her, all others are collecting dust.

jhard

ps If you want him to follow you like a lost puppy forever then intermittantly interrupt the above act for some brief but intense cock sucking. Do that and he will not even realise that there are other woman on the planet for at least a decade, maybe more!

[Kayland]

Thanks everyone for the advice and answering my questions. It really does relieve some of the pressure and the frustration in knowing that i am not alone in my endeavor.

[ladylove]

Thanks everyone for the advice and answering my questions. It really does relieve some of the pressure and the frustration in knowing that i am not alone in my endeavor.

Your never alone here