Why Are Prostitutes/escorts Looked Down Upon?

[Kama]

Can someone explain why? I'm not really sure I get it. Because they're selling sex?

As for customers being seen as "desperate," I disagree. I have known bi-curious women and couples that would rather pay for a gorgeous escort than go to a bar to find someone that's not their type.

If you're not looking for a relationship or want to go through the hassle of finding the right f*ck buddy, I guess I can understand why you would resort to "adult services."

What does everyone else think? Do you think there's something wrong with this whole deal?

[Mikayla1]

You want to know why escorts and prostitutes are looked down upon?

Well, in a nutshell because society as a whole, and women in specific, don't understand the importance of sex and can not comprehend why women would want to 'sell' sex, therefore having sex with anonymous people. Nor can people accept that some women chose to do this as a means of making money and are not forced or demeaned by doing so.

People judge. As such there is a negative stigma associated with this type of activity. Why would a woman 'demean' herself to sell her body? Why would a man demean himself and pay for sex? Doesn't the woman value herself as a person? Doesn't the man value his life and have any morals? People judge and put unneccesary stigmas on the whole situation.

Furthermore, we need to differentiate the type of prostitute we are discussing. Are we talking about the 10 cent whore who is strung out on cocaine, lives with a pimp and sells herself from morning till night - OR - are we talking about a high class 'escort' who works for a reputable company and makes a lot of money to do what she does? Does it matters? YES. Why? One does it out of necessity, the other does it as choice. Sure, they both make the 'choice' to have sex for money, but one is definitely more pressured to do so.

People judge. Prostitutes are dirty, skanky, don't have good self esteem. They don't 'care' that they spread disease or may die from what they do. This is the common perception of a normal 'crack whore' - while the 'escort' is seen differently. The escort is idealized and glamorized. Stories of high priced prostitutes show up in Lifetime movies. Escorts are seen as 'bettr than' a normal prostitute, but why.

Is there a difference? Don't both sell themselves for money? Does the amount of money make a difference? If you make 20 bucks for a blowjob or 200 does it matter? If you work with a service or a pimp, does it matter? If you wear expensive clothes, high priced lingerie or you parade around in short, cutt-off shorts does it matter?

It does. To society it matters what 'type' of hooker you are?

My opinion: prostitution is an unfortunate situation for many young women who leave their homes and fall prey to the street pimps and or drugs. It saddens my heart to hear of 16 year olds being forced into sex to survive. However, escorts who make the conscious choice to make a lot of money having sex in a more monitored environment get no sympathy for me. Much like a stripper who chooses to take her clothes off for money, an escort makes that choice and gets paid well for it. There is nothing demeaning about supplying an activity that is VERY MUCH in demand.

Also, while we are on the subject of demand, let's speak briefly about how if the men didn't want the sex and weren't out looking for it, there would be no demand and therefore nothing for the prostitutes to sell. So, when people blame the women for 'seducing men' it really peeves me off. Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. Women sold sex before they sold anything else. It has survived through the centuries because of the law of supply and demand.

So, why are prostitutes looked down upon: lack of understanding and an inability to differientiate choice from need.

[jhard]

You want to know why escorts and prostitutes are looked down upon?

Well, in a nutshell because society as a whole, and women in specific, don't understand the importance of sex and can not comprehend why women would want to 'sell' sex, therefore having sex with anonymous people. Nor can people accept that some women chose to do this as a means of making money and are not forced or demeaned by doing so.

People judge. As such there is a negative stigma associated with this type of activity. Why would a woman 'demean' herself to sell her body? Why would a man demean himself and pay for sex? Doesn't the woman value herself as a person? Doesn't the man value his life and have any morals? People judge and put unneccesary stigmas on the whole situation.

Furthermore, we need to differentiate the type of prostitute we are discussing. Are we talking about the 10 cent whore who is strung out on cocaine, lives with a pimp and sells herself from morning till night - OR - are we talking about a high class 'escort' who works for a reputable company and makes a lot of money to do what she does? Does it matters? YES. Why? One does it out of necessity, the other does it as choice. Sure, they both make the 'choice' to have sex for money, but one is definitely more pressured to do so.

People judge. Prostitutes are dirty, skanky, don't have good self esteem. They don't 'care' that they spread disease or may die from what they do. This is the common perception of a normal 'crack whore' - while the 'escort' is seen differently. The escort is idealized and glamorized. Stories of high priced prostitutes show up in Lifetime movies. Escorts are seen as 'bettr than' a normal prostitute, but why.

Is there a difference? Don't both sell themselves for money? Does the amount of money make a difference? If you make 20 bucks for a blowjob or 200 does it matter? If you work with a service or a pimp, does it matter? If you wear expensive clothes, high priced lingerie or you parade around in short, cutt-off shorts does it matter?

It does. To society it matters what 'type' of hooker you are?

My opinion: prostitution is an unfortunate situation for many young women who leave their homes and fall prey to the street pimps and or drugs. It saddens my heart to hear of 16 year olds being forced into sex to survive. However, escorts who make the conscious choice to make a lot of money having sex in a more monitored environment get no sympathy for me. Much like a stripper who chooses to take her clothes off for money, an escort makes that choice and gets paid well for it. There is nothing demeaning about supplying an activity that is VERY MUCH in demand.

Also, while we are on the subject of demand, let's speak briefly about how if the men didn't want the sex and weren't out looking for it, there would be no demand and therefore nothing for the prostitutes to sell. So, when people blame the women for 'seducing men' it really peeves me off. Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. Women sold sex before they sold anything else. It has survived through the centuries because of the law of supply and demand.

So, why are prostitutes looked down upon: lack of understanding and an inability to differientiate choice from need.

You summed it up very well, Mikayla.

I'll add that if wives were more understanding or caring about pleasing their men sexually that escorts would have a lot less work. It always amazes me how many wives refuse to satisfy thier men orally. If a woman is not at least trying to satisfy her man she should count on him looking elsewhere. This works the same for men that do not at least try to satisfy thier women.

j

[mystofpric]

You summed it up very well, Mikayla.

I'll add that if wives were more understanding or caring about pleasing their men sexually that escorts would have a lot less work. It always amazes me how many wives refuse to satisfy thier men orally. If a woman is not at least trying to satisfy her man she should count on him looking elsewhere. This works the same for men that do not at least try to satisfy thier women.

j

Ouch, that's kinda harsh don't cha think?

I think some ofthe added stigma is the "forced into prostitution" stories, those break my heart. Hell legalize it and legalize pot and i promise we'd have a) a healthy economy and less horror stories of underage prositution. Flip side, lol, health care costs might go up.

[Tyger]

Well put Mikayla.

I have to agree AND disagree with jhard. Yes, some men DO go to a prostitute if their wives don't satisfy them. Why? No other real relationship where the girlfriend gets bitter and calls the wife, and vice versa to deal with. It's anonymous. No strings.

But there ARE a lot of "happily married men" out there (and women) that just want that thrill of not being caught, and with a prostitute, more than likely, the risk is extremely minimal that you would get caught (so it's a safer risk you might say). But the thrill's still there.

As a woman, yes, jhard was a bit harsh, he DOES have a point, however, not to stir up the debates, but, it's not ONLY the woman's job to please her man, it's also the MAN'S job to communicate his unhappiness to his wife. Most men don't do that, unless they are, what I call, whining. They're not constructively trying to have a discussion, they just say "OMG, it's been a while since I've gotten laid." or to some extent like that.

[Mikayla1]

Ouch, that's kinda harsh don't cha think?

I actually agree with Jhard. I think that men that go to prostitutes or get gilfriends sometimes get a bad wrap for 'cheating' on their wives / girlfriends. However, we as women need to realize that as the sexual partner of our husband or boyfriend we do have the responsibility of satisfying him - just as he does for satisfying us. I am not condoning cheating - but - I am saying that if you are not willing to suck your husband's dick he may be willing to pay for someone to do it - it is just that important.

I have always said that the statistical proof is that over 90% of men who go outside of their marriage do so because they want one thing: oral sex. There was a fantastic article a few years back in a health magazine that said that oral sex was the primary thing that men look for in relationships outside of their marriage.

So, while I know that this will not make me very popular, I think the point is valid - men want to be satisfied sexually, and many will go outside of their marriage or relationship to get it.

[mystofpric]

What i found harsh was the way the spouse at home was blamed for it. It seems to be that not getting head at home is more of an excuse. I don't believe that the 90% of cheaters who blamed it on oral tried to fix things at home. Sure it's possible, but i just don't think likely. So we preach patience and understanding to people who's spouses may have some serious and legit issues as to why they don't or can't do something in the bedroom but we condone cheating if it's because of oral sex? Seems liek I'm missing something, but then again I'm not married and I love giving head. It just seems like it's the easy way out, instead of hard work at home to make things good, just pay a prositute for a blowie... Nope, I'm definitely missing something here.

[Mikayla1]

I think you make a very valid point - I am most sure that many of these men never mentioned it or pursued the discussion in a mature and loving way. (i.e. I want us both to be pleasured during our sexual situations, this is what I would like ......). However, there are also those women who just say 'No. No I won't do that. No, that is disgusting. No.' and it is in those situations that there is fault with the WOMAN not with the man. THe fact is, as you point out Suzy (and Tyger) that a couple is responsible for pleasing each other - but if one is unwilling to even TRY to make conscessions, then it should not be surprising when the one being denied goes outside the relationship.

Lack of oral attention is the #1 complaint by men who are dissatisfied with their love life - even the ones not cheating. It is also one of the main thing that marital counselors and divorce attorneys hear when listening to things that a man thinks in a downfall in his sex life. So, based on that evidence, I would say that more women should be paying attention to what men want in bed - AND - more men need to do the same.

[Kace]

I think the late George Carlin summed up my feelings on it nicely -

"I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away? I can't follow the logic on that one at all! Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people! In civilian life you go to jail for giving someone an orgasm!"

I agree with Mikayla about the difference between prostitution as a chosen profession vs as an act of desperate survival. The most precious thing any one us has is our personal sovereignty. Without it we are merely property. No job or profession should ever ever ever subjugate personal sovereignty.

[hyokahey]

Decriminalizing prostitution may not make it much better for the prostitute; places like Amsterdam where it is controlled and legal still have women in the life that are suffering greatly due to their lifestyle and their dependence on using sex to make a living. At least there, there is licensing and (allegedly) regular physical exams.

The real tragedy, as already mentioned, is the woman who perceives that the ONLY way she can survive is to sell herself. In our world, it is still very much a man's world; pay ratio for male to female is still not equitable. In addition, poor women are usually the ones caring for the children, not the fathers. Poor women (or people) tend to seek emotional relief through self medication with illegal drugs,compounding the problem. Poor folks are generally undereducated, and also have moderate to severe relationship and family difficulties in their lives . that need a good bit of work. In particular, most street level hookers were victims of child abuse of some sort and may have PTSD as a result. Until our society effectively addresses these problems, we will continue to have drug addicted street hookers.

As for the high class working girls, what guy has not fantasized about paying a decent fee for an excellent actress to do everything he can imagine sexually doing?

How about having a role play with your spouse to satisfy that fantasy? Wonder how much THAT will cost me!

[mystofpric]

I think you make a very valid point - I am most sure that many of these men never mentioned it or pursued the discussion in a mature and loving way. (i.e. I want us both to be pleasured during our sexual situations, this is what I would like ......). However, there are also those women who just say 'No. No I won't do that. No, that is disgusting. No.' and it is in those situations that there is fault with the WOMAN not with the man. THe fact is, as you point out Suzy (and Tyger) that a couple is responsible for pleasing each other - but if one is unwilling to even TRY to make conscessions, then it should not be surprising when the one being denied goes outside the relationship.

Lack of oral attention is the #1 complaint by men who are dissatisfied with their love life - even the ones not cheating. It is also one of the main thing that marital counselors and divorce attorneys hear when listening to things that a man thinks in a downfall in his sex life. So, based on that evidence, I would say that more women should be paying attention to what men want in bed - AND - more men need to do the same.

Okay put like that, i understand better what you were trying to say.

here's a thought: Is buying a sex toy (a totally legal transaction clearly meant for sexual gratification) almost a form of personal prositution? I mean your paying to masturbate...

[Kama]

Edit.

[sun_flower969]

I think it is looked down upon by the prudish and also because typically. Prostitution is used by men in secret, cheating on their wives. Which again is an unfortunate sign of a bigger issue at home...

[Kama]

I can't speak for everybody, but I've seen men lose interest or take things for granted when they finally get what they want. Women can be the same too. People want you more when they can't have you or get what they want from you.

There are couples where the woman is enthusiastic about giving oral sex, but the guy doesn't appreciate it, still finds a way to criticize her sexual performance, or still cheats her. So, what's the point? It's like whatever you do is not good enough.

When I hear men complaining about how their wife doesn't give them this or that, it makes me think "The grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side." .

Maybe it's human nature to find fault with everything, no matter how good things are. Who knows.

[jhard]

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[12GAUGE]

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I've read a few of the responses on this question and as usual I defer to Mikayla. I really think she gave the best answer tho all of the answers were good.

It's like several people said. People are judgemental. It's funny cuz I often hear from some liberals how Christians and other 'religious types' are constantly judging others whose lifestyles may be seen as sinful or not 'normal'. Some of these same liberals rail against the conservatives views as not 'tolerant'. I think these folks should try looking into a mirror sometime.

People are people. Some will judge you for the clothes you wear or the truck you drive. Whether you work in an office or in an alley on your knees.

Personally I think there should be a nice gentlemens club in damn near every small town in America. Like any product or service you might happen to buy getting your oil changed regularly helps to keep one focused. As a single man w/o a steady gf/bf I would love to head to my local brothel to have something different. Whether it be a quick nooner and a quick noisy BJ or spend an evening with 2 gals that are into each other plus a hunky bi man I would definately be down for that.

Besides which having a gentlemens club would be safer for the sex workers and clients. The workers would get regular checkups and testing for STDs. Our omnipotent government would rake in the dough thru taxes and licensing fees. Various types of street crime would decrease and most everyone would be happily smiling away as they lived their lives.

[LilGreenPuffer]

My feeling is that sex belongs in a committed relationship. I think that it has a spiritual side, and that it shouldn't be made less than what it is by selling it. But I know that this view isn't shared by many people.

My other objection to prostitution is that the women are often in a pretty bad situation, and it can be a dangerous business. If it was a more ethically run business, I wouldn't object to it so strongly.

[Sunday]

Can someone explain why? I'm not really sure I get it. Because they're selling sex?

As for customers being seen as "desperate," I disagree. I have known bi-curious women and couples that would rather pay for a gorgeous escort than go to a bar to find someone that's not their type.

If you're not looking for a relationship or want to go through the hassle of finding the right f*ck buddy, I guess I can understand why you would resort to "adult services."

What does everyone else think? Do you think there's something wrong with this whole deal?

5000 years of biblical teaching is hard to overcome, especially with Christians, Jews, and Muslims making up the vast majority of the world's population and reinforcing the belief daily. If you want society to approve of prostitution, you are fighting an uphill battle.

I'm on the fence about it myself. I see no logical reason why it should be looked down upon, but I was always taught that sex for any reason other than as part of a relationship was wrong. Lessons that are learned when you are very young are hard to overcome, so while intellectually I can agree with you, there is an involuntary part of me that still holds whores in disdain.

[12GAUGE]

I think prostitution should be legal if it is made sure that the brothel's are clean and the ladies are disease free and go through monthly or yearly checkups. I see nothing wrong with buying sex if thats what someone wants to do.

It sure would help my motor run better not to mention smoother.

[WendyNY]

I think prostitution should be legal if it is made sure that the brothel's are clean and the ladies are disease free and go through monthly or yearly checkups. I see nothing wrong with buying sex if thats what someone wants to do.

It sure would help my motor run better not to mention smoother.

There is one !! (well, I'm sure there's more than one) but the most famous one is Dennis Hoff's "Bunny Ranch"

"The Moonlight Bunny Ranch" is the whole name. It's located in Nevada. I first saw it featured on HBO's "Cathouse" series.

If you get a chance to watch any of the episodes--they're great. The show takes you into the Bunny Ranch. It shows you the girls who work there

and films actual encounters with some of the clients. For example--the Virgin, The Husband and Wife. The married man.

My favorite was the mother who brought her much older virgin son and sat on the edge of the bed with him talking to the camera before he had his first fuck.....LOL.....

This is the Bunny Ranch's website. (and someday I'll get to go there with my husband---that's definitely on my fantasy list !!)

http://www.bunnyranch.com/

[ReadyToMoveOn]

I do know in every culture of the world, prostitution exists...

From a $5 BJ, to a $5k night out on the town...

Both sexes, men and women are prostituting themselves out for money...

And now there is the selling of sex on the internet...Are women and men who sell themselves on the internet, are they viewed any differently than the woman or man on the street...

I dont judge these people, as I am sure all have a reason for what they do...

I havent lived in their shoes, and I dont partake in what they are selling, so I have no right to judge...

I know I have been in clubs, (primarily Las Vegas and the sort), and I have been approached by these women of the night, beautiful well dressed women, I have engaged them in conversation, theyre no dummies or walking junkies...Some are very well mannered and can carry a very intelligent conversation...

But alas, I have never purchased, I couldnt even tell you the cost, but I was attracted...

No, I dont look down on these women, not at all...They all have a reason for what they do...

Just my thoughts...

[square]

IMHO, society has double standard about a lot of things, including sex. And historic views and beliefs take a long time to change.

When I was in my teens and twenties, a girl (forget prostitutes) who slept with a lot of guys was looked down upon, and called things like "pin cushion," "skank," and "whore." On the other hand (the double standard), a fellow who slept with lots of women was manly, studly, and viewed with a mix of admiration and jealousy. A girl who jumped in the sack on a first date was a slut; a guy who poked a girl the night he met her was respected.

Look at everyday terms in our lexicon. Something "sucks," or somebody "got screwed." The implication is that being on the receiving end of an erect, ejaculating penis is a bad thing.

Prostitution takes all of that to the next level. Venereal disease no doubt plays a role; let's face it, are you more likely to pick up VD from a girl who has slept with four guys, or one who has slept with a hundred? Or hundreds?

Are views on prostitutes changing? I hear (but have no firsthand knowledge) that today's young adults are more open to casual sex. Does that translate to more acceptance of prositutes and prostitution?

[ReadyToMoveOn]

IMHO, society has double standard about a lot of things, including sex. And historic views and beliefs take a long time to change.

When I was in my teens and twenties, a girl (forget prostitutes) who slept with a lot of guys was looked down upon, and called things like "pin cushion," "skank," and "whore." On the other hand (the double standard), a fellow who slept with lots of women was manly, studly, and viewed with a mix of admiration and jealousy. A girl who jumped in the sack on a first date was a slut; a guy who poked a girl the night he met her was respected.

Look at everyday terms in our lexicon. Something "sucks," or somebody "got screwed." The implication is that being on the receiving end of an erect, ejaculating penis is a bad thing.

Prostitution takes all of that to the next level. Venereal disease no doubt plays a role; let's face it, are you more likely to pick up VD from a girl who has slept with four guys, or one who has slept with a hundred? Or hundreds?

Are views on prostitutes changing? I hear (but have no firsthand knowledge) that today's young adults are more open to casual sex. Does that translate to more acceptance of prositutes and prostitution?

Casual Sex...

Do you not know of the 60's and 70's...I dont believe there was ever more casual sex than the 2 decades mentioned... Of course HIV/AIDS came along in the 80s and casual sex was very much taboo... And I dont believe today young adults are as open to casual sex as the previous decades mentioned...Just an opinion though, no research/studies made on my part...

[square]

I was thinking more compared with the 80's and into the 90's. With the spread of AIDS, there was a big push for safe sex, use condoms, hold off till you were serious about someone, etc. and so on and so forth.

[Kama]

There was a study that came out recently that said that most young Americans aren't having casual sex, but I don't remember how big the sample was. It's hard to know who is doing what, because I think the people that don't have casual sex aren't vocal about it. Whereas the people that do are more vocal about it. The few promiscuous friends I've had assumed that everyone else was having sex on the first date.