Newbie 37and ready Posted June 15, 2010 Newbie Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 I am 37 years old. I had a child about 18 months ago. I have noticed that since the birth of my son I have had difficulties reaching an orgasm. I am still very interested in sex, enjoy all of the sensations, and get very wet during sex. However, it seems that my clitoris no longer becomes engorged and when I do have an occasional orgasm it is very weak. Is this common after pregnancy? Is there medication for this? I have tried over the counter products and products found on TooTimid to no avail. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted June 16, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 Hello New Mommy!Yes, normal. Not always an appreciated side affect of motherhood, but normal. Did you have a vaginal birth? Yes, this makes a difference. Listen, your body went through a traumatic (albeit natural) phenomenon. It takes up to 3 years for some women to have a normal hormonal balance again. Hormones dictate EVERYTHING in your body. You indicate that you still have interest and you get aroused and wet - this is GOOD. This means you have not lost sensation or libido. The lack of engorgement can be any number of things - have you tried a more direct application? Toys? Vibrators? Fingers? Stimulate it hard and fast. Have you tried arousal gel? Viva is excellent.Now, as for the weakness of orgasm - this can be hormonal too. After my second son my orgasms were almost null. I felt the release, but the sensation was less than. It did go away eventually. I hate to say 'be patient' - but I am afraid you may need to be.Also, keep in mind that the most powerful sexual organ we have is our brain - so when you are thinking about the 500 things you must do for your child it is hard to have the extra space for sex and arousal. Try giving yourself a mental break and getting more foreplay.I hope this helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie 37and ready Posted June 16, 2010 Author Newbie Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 Hello New Mommy!The lack of engorgement can be any number of things - have you tried a more direct application? Toys? Vibrators? Fingers? Stimulate it hard and fast. Have you tried arousal gel? Viva is excellent.Also, keep in mind that the most powerful sexual organ we have is our brain - so when you are thinking about the 500 things you must do for your child it is hard to have the extra space for sex and arousal. Try giving yourself a mental break and getting more foreplay.I have tried direct application including vibrators, fingers, oral, ect.. Once in a while a little engorgement but nothing the way it used to be. Before the birth, third child, I never had a problem with this. In fact, would get turned on and orgasm within minutes. I also never had this happen after the other two children.I did try Viva yesterday. I didn't find it to be a noticeable difference. However, the reviews did state that sometimes it takes numerous applications before the full effect takes place. I will keep trying that.I think the hardest thing is I was in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years that ended in a divorce. I am now in a relationship with a man who loves lots of foreplay, lots of oral, and sex three or more times a day. I am doing my best to make up for lost time. He spends plenty of time focused on me and still nothing. Hope this goes away very soon!! Are there any vitamins that help balance hormones? Other treatments or medications? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted June 16, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 I have tried direct application including vibrators, fingers, oral, ect.. Once in a while a little engorgement but nothing the way it used to be. Before the birth, third child, I never had a problem with this. In fact, would get turned on and orgasm within minutes. I also never had this happen after the other two children.I did try Viva yesterday. I didn't find it to be a noticeable difference. However, the reviews did state that sometimes it takes numerous applications before the full effect takes place. I will keep trying that.I think the hardest thing is I was in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years that ended in a divorce. I am now in a relationship with a man who loves lots of foreplay, lots of oral, and sex three or more times a day. I am doing my best to make up for lost time. He spends plenty of time focused on me and still nothing. Hope this goes away very soon!! Are there any vitamins that help balance hormones? Other treatments or medications?This is very interesting! Sorry you are dealing with this!! There are a couple things on the market that are supposed to help with feminine arousal. Some are topical and I have seen some supplements. I have not used any of these so I cannot recommend personally. Here are a few you might want to look into... Zestra K-Y INTENSE Arousal gelProvestra oral supplementI have a 2 year old and after I had him I was very nervous and tense to have sex, because of tenderness, stitches, scars, things feeling different etc. It was definitely an adjustment!! I found I had to really concentrate on relaxing. Like deep breathing closing my eyes relaxing. It helped and in fact I had my first g-spot orgasm during this time! Maybe a glass of wine or something could help get things flowing! Try to get as aroused as possible before hand! Maybe watch a video, masturbate a little before (or a lot) to make sure you are as engorged as you can be. Maybe then things will take off!!Best wishes to you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members leslieanne Posted June 17, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 17, 2010 Couple of other questions for youAre you still breast feeding? If no when did you stop?Are you using any form of hormonal birth control? - BCP, depoProvera injections, BC patch, etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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