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Posted

Does this turn anyone else off? Sometimes I slow down for a bit (or whatever) and the question "why?" comes up and I have to think about it. This kills the mood for me as I search for the words to describe why I've done whatever. Do other people have this problem? I just can't think like a rational human being during sex, I just do it. If I have to think I lose it.

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Posted

Your experience is not too uncommon. Not many people think in terms of sexual desire during sex. Most folks think of it as a natural hunger for sex, prior to sex. For many, sexual desire that was there at the onset of sexual activity declines sharply during sex, and they 'lose' the feeling. This is due to a lack of emotional 'connection' during sex. It is quite possible to have sex with little or no 'connection' or intimacy with the sexual partner. The morality or preference for this kind of sex aside, for some, it gets old, and they are looking for something deeper and more satisfying. The path to such depth and meaning might well be gained through a greater tolerance and seeking of intimacy.

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Posted

I want to try and fully understand the question:

are you saying you have a desire to have sex with your partner, but then during sex you think 'why am I having sex?' or is it "why am I having sex with her?" or is it 'What is sex?' I am a bit confused, could you clarify?

  • Members
Posted

I want to try and fully understand the question:

are you saying you have a desire to have sex with your partner, but then during sex you think 'why am I having sex?' or is it "why am I having sex with her?" or is it 'What is sex?' I am a bit confused, could you clarify?

I took it as: he tries to do something sexually, maybe new, and she asks why as in why do you want to do that..... which kills his mood.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

It sounds like, to me, that you're over-thinking it, instead of just going with it. Does that make sense? Try not to dissect sex while having it.

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