Couldn't Get Him To Cum

[HappyCalifornia]

I am looking for a little advice (or perhaps, some reassurance.) I've been seeing the same guy for about two and half years now - for lack of a better description, I'd call it a friends with benefits situation. (We work together, and to avoid the complications of something more emotional developing, we're pretty careful to avoid things that could lead to that - no terms of endearment, limited physical affection, don't cuddle after sex or sleep over at each other's houses, etc.) The sex with this guy is off the charts awesome, and I lovelovelove giving him blow jobs, and he says I'm the best he's ever had hands down, and that I make him cum so hard he almost passes out. :-) Anyway - he stayed here at my house last night due to some circumstances that are too long and boring to bother explaining - no sex last night since I was already asleep when he got here, and we slept separately. This morning as he was getting ready to leave to go to work, he asked for a blow job, which I was happy to do (have I mentioned I LOVE doing that?) Anyway - long story short I couldn't get him to cum. This is the first time this has happened with us, ever. Normally I can get him to cum hard very quickly and actually have to adjust what I do so it doesn't happen too quickly. I asked him if he was worried about the time (leaving for work etc) or tired and he said no. I asked him if there was something I should try different and he said he didn't know. I tried a few things and nothing seemed to help, so after a few more minutes we just stopped.

He joked that he's just getting old (which he's not - he's 34), grabbed a cup of coffee and left pretty much right afterward.

Should I be worried? In my head I'm telling myself it's not a big deal, it happens, etc. but at the same time I'm wondering why - that is, did I do something wrong, was he uncomfortable being here, did I not look hot enough etc etc. I guess I'm just looking for some advice / reassurance from anyone else that has experienced this. Thanks in advance!

[Still learning]

You probably do more than the head action already but just in case:

You stimulate him in other ways during the blowjob?

Like stroking the shaft, massaging the balls, squeezing the shaft, different things to give different sensations.

There would be tim es all I wanted was a handjob; still my favorite; or a blowbob but her hand holding my penis.

Odd times between the breasts. Just to say even with the best blowjob in the world there could be times the mood or nerve endings look for something else.

Something I did and regretted once in my 20's: I was going to have sex with someone, very into it and being sensitive I masturbated so I can last longer. Big mistake ion my case, the sex never happened, took too long to get hard again. Or maybe he used some desensitizing stuff. Just theories but never know.

[HappyCalifornia]

Yeah I do all that stuff you described - nothing seemed to work like usual. I suppose I should just forget about it unless it happens again but you know how we women are - we like to analyze everything. :-)

[Mikayla1]

I totally think you are overthinking this. You had sex the night before, right? He came the night before? Well, for some guys, it is like masturbating before sex, it takes them a long, long time - and sometimes they can't. Maybe he masturbated in the shower. Could be anything. In any event, totally wouldn't worry about it. I give *awesome* blowjobs and had an ex who I couldn't get to cum every so often. He said he was on the cusp for sooooo long, and just couldn't get over it. It was usually after we would fuck a lot the night before, he was just harder to get over the edge. Wouldn't worry.

[Still learning]

These things happen ... even a penis can get fussy to handle, I know for a fact. So close yet not close enough.

If the BJ won't work you ever tried a HJ? There are awsome techniques that send a man over the edge.

There are some on the internet I am sure. If not I will give you pretty graphic instructions.

Maybe intercourse or between the breasts. For some reason I had a great time with oral and manual but unable to orgasm except between the breasts in no time; on three occasions before.

[HappyCalifornia]

Thank you so much much for your advice and suggestions. I think I was probably getting in my head too much about it - I'm going to try not to worry about it and if it happens again I'll try some of the suggestions listed here.

[sass]

I don't think there is any way that a woman can "not look hot enough" to give a blow job! But I know what you are saying. I, too, had an awesome FWB who also loved the BJs I gave him, and I, like you, loved to give them. He and I never had a time that he didn't cum from oral, unless he pulled out to do something else, BUT, when my husband and I met, it was like WTF?!?! LOL! It is nearly impossible to get that man to cum from oral alone. I felt I was doing something wrong for a long time - got really kind of upset about it - but I know that each person is different, we have talked about it, and he tells me I am the only one that HAS, at least a few times, been able to get him to cum from a BJ. So I deal with it, ya know?

As for what happened, who knows? Maybe his mind was somewhere else (the brain is THE most powerful sex organ) or maybe he knew he had to be leaving for work and his subconscious already had him there, or maybe he isn't a morning person (could be the case if the two of you haven't had a lot of morning times together) or it could just be his penis wasn't in the mood for what HE thought he wanted. I know that last one sounds funny, but there are times that NOTHING will get my husband to cum - oral, vaginal, anal, or anything else. I have often said that a penis has a mind of it's own, and most people agree when it is getting a man into trouble, but sometimes it is the man that is looking and his penis just wants to play a little and then take a nap!

Don't fret! Even if it happens another time or two, as long as he says everything is good (and in my experiences, FWB relationships tend to be pretty honest bc emotions don't get in the way) - then I really would not worry about it.