Newbie psycoticdeafkitty Posted August 10, 2011 Newbie Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 A while back I found out that my fiance has kept videos of mfm threesomes and other sex acts he had with his ex girlfriend of 10 years. They've been broken up for around 4 years now and have not communicated since. Usually this wouldn't bother me, but as far as I have seen and have heard they had a very active sex life, and us, not so much. I can maybe squeeze once a week out of him, at best. I love him very much but I feel very sexually inadequate in comparison, and sometimes I wonder if he keeps them to remind him of the better times. I've tried telling him that they make me uncomfortable, but he hasn't done anything about it. Any suggestions on how I can approach this? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted August 10, 2011 Review Team Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 First, personally, I would say not to freak out about him still having some sexy videos from the past. It likely doesn't mean anything more than he enjoyed making some kinky vids. If he watches them all day every day, then yeah, that could be an issue. But just having a momento of a fun time in his past shouldn't be too big of a deal IMO.As for why your sex life with him isn't what he once had, maybe he has "grown up" some and his sex drive isn't what it once was because of his age. Or there could be other causes like stress, depression, work, etc. Have you asked him if there are life stressors that he is having a hard time with? Whatever you do, avoid saying anything that sounds like you are accusing him of anything wrong - he will get defensive and the talk will go no place. Also, right after a good sex romp is not a good time to try to talk serious stuff with a guy. Maybe start by asking if there is anything he feels is lacking in your relationship that you could work on changing/improving. Communication is key.Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 I have to disagree with the first response. I would definitely be upset if my husband/BF had videos of himself having sex with someone else from the past. I'm as open-minded as they come, even been called "liberal in thinking", and I'm all for adult videos, however, I wouldn't tolerate someones reminders of sexual exploits as so blatant as a video. Why does he keep them? It's the past, with someone else, why would he WANT to keep them? You can't have a full future with someone if you reminisce to that extreme, IMHO. It's WAAAAAAAAAY different than keeping a few photos of someone, like a couple's pic, or random casuals of times when you had fun.If it were me, I'd insist on them being disposed of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 31, 2015 Report Share Posted July 31, 2015 Scrolling thru some old posts, I thought I'd bring this post up, from the past, about the past. To get some of our newer member's perspectives.What do you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team l8niter Posted August 1, 2015 Review Team Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 I have to agree with tyger , there is a reason why shes an ex and in order to truly move on into another totally commited relationship there are certain things you should not keep especially sex videos and sexy pics it would make me feel uncomfortable and inadaquite if my GF still watched them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted August 2, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 2, 2015 I guess I am on the other side of this. I would not be insecure or be envious. We all have a past. If she has some photos or videos then so be it. The only time I may be concerned is if she was trying to hide it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Juniper Posted August 20, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Truthfully I'd probably have him throw the videos out or I'd do it myself. Then if he does get upset about having to throw them out. I'd definitely ask why. I mean, some people hang onto the past cause for them the past might be their glory days or they don't want to forget what they did when they were younger. Of course then, yeah I would feel a bit inferior to that girl in the video but I would definitely try to see if he'd want to make new ones when the mood is right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kama Posted August 31, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 Scrolling thru some old posts, I thought I'd bring this post up, from the past, about the past. To get some of our newer member's perspectives.What do you think?I'm open minded too, and my first instinct was discomfort when reading the post. I think it's human nature to feel a bit uneasy when imagining our partner or ex with someone else. To turn the tables, how would he feel if she had videos of her sucking some other dude off or even hearing her talk about her past exploits? The past is the past, but it doesn't need to be brought in one's current sex life. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members michelleddd Posted September 1, 2015 Members Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I believe this is one of those differences between men and women. Women see it as trying to stay connected to anotherwoman, one who you had taped sex with. Men tend to see it as a trophy and nothing to worry about, they're an ex for a reason right?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team l8niter Posted September 8, 2015 Review Team Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 The only past I worry about is the one I've created with my sweetie Wen :kiss: :kiss: . don't need any other past memories to get me going :) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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