Members mystofpric Posted October 20, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 First I'd like to point out the irony of posting anything here as the description is "anything your too shy to ask your friends" and all my friends are on here! LOLAny whoo!Gents, this one's for you. My last few partners (i swear I don't get around, it just seems that way!) have both blantantly avoided manual stim for me. Obviously they made sure to get what they wanted but they COMPLETELY skipped checking the fluid levels before starting the engine! I asked my boyfriend BP (yes, those are his intials AND he's know to cause huge 'oil' spills from me.) to use his hands next time were were together and he didn't flat out refuse but he definitely made it clear he didn't want to. So, heres the question: When did finger banging fall out of vogue?! And more importantly, why didn't I get the memo? I'm not an oral fan (i can't get out of my head long enough to enjoy it, but a discussion for another page) so like thats pretty much all I have besides sex. And by god i'm not okay with this. Little does BP know, nothing is going in ANY thing til i get what I want. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted October 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 That boy need to man up! Not a man but.....Could it be possible he doesn't like to because he's not sure he's doing it right, or just not sure of what he's suppose to do for how long etc....?Just a thought 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted October 21, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 That boy need to man up! Not a man but.....Could it be possible he doesn't like to because he's not sure he's doing it right, or just not sure of what he's suppose to do for how long etc....?Just a thoughtWell I'm really hoping its that and not just being selfish. I mean, he's lucky i can get off without direct stim! or we'd being having issues! It just reads as selfish to me, now granted this was a via text convo (we were both working and talking dirty, a new favorite combo of mine!) so i'm gonna see how it goes tomorrow when I see him, but it seriously has been a couple of guys now that did the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lisa's Man Posted October 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 *ahem.. Someone asked for a "man's" opinion? Something is seriously wrong with these guys.. kick them to the curb. (kidding, just kidding)I enjoy pleasuring a woman ANY way that I can, as long as there is a reaction from her. (i.e while giving oral, no moans, movement, heavy breathing- See ex wife.) Fingering has NEVER gone out of style, a passing fad or anything like that. It could be that these "boys" don't know what they're doing and are afraid to try. If they think a vagina is icky and don't want to touch it, maybe they're playing on the wrong side of the fence. I say take control of BP.. guide his hand where you want it and how you want to be touched. Teach him the art of fingering and where your "sweet spots" are.. be sure to tell him how it makes you feel when his hand touches you.. (these are 'atta boys and we do like hearing them.) BUT make sure NOTHING else happens before this. He can keep his pants on a while longer. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted October 21, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 *ahem.. Someone asked for a "man's" opinion? Something is seriously wrong with these guys.. kick them to the curb. (kidding, just kidding)I enjoy pleasuring a woman ANY way that I can, as long as there is a reaction from her. (i.e while giving oral, no moans, movement, heavy breathing- See ex wife.) Fingering has NEVER gone out of style, a passing fad or anything like that. It could be that these "boys" don't know what they're doing and are afraid to try. If they think a vagina is icky and don't want to touch it, maybe they're playing on the wrong side of the fence. I say take control of BP.. guide his hand where you want it and how you want to be touched. Teach him the art of fingering and where your "sweet spots" are.. be sure to tell him how it makes you feel when his hand touches you.. (these are 'atta boys and we do like hearing them.) BUT make sure NOTHING else happens before this. He can keep his pants on a while longer. okay so its weird right? Like i was starting to think there was something wrong with me that I was unaware of! Thank god, its just them! BP has no idea but he's exploring new terrain tomorrow. I mean look, I freaking HATE shaving down there (i just look at the razor and I get razor burn) but I did that hoping ya know maybe I i could entice a little voluntary play, but nope, nothing. so now i guess its time to take matters into my own hands. I dunno. its just kinda upseting ya know? like its the one thing i've asked for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted October 21, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 ps good to hear real men aren't afraid to get thier hands dirty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted October 21, 2011 Review Team Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 It's not out of style my sex pet, you just have happened to find a few guys who either don't know what they are doing and feel nervous about it, or have some other strange issue. I like LM's answer - help show your guy the light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted October 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 I agree that it is not out of style either. He might just not have experience in it. We all have our own little quirks. Go get him lil sis and show him what you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lisa's Man Posted October 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 It's not out of style my sex pet, you just have happened to find a few guys who either don't know what they are doing and feel nervous about it, or have some other strange issue. I like LM's answer - help show your guy the light. Plus, IMO.. what a freaking turn on!! I WANT to know what 'her' buttons are, what works and what doesn't.. It doesn't mean I'm going to jump right to the "joy" button.. that would be sooooo easy. No, depending on time and place, I'd like to tease and prolong the fun. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted October 22, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 Well I think the prolonging the fun is half the problem, we never seem to have much time. so maybe that has something to do with it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted October 23, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Hmm, interesting... Well BP better be ready to get his hands dirty, because y'all have got to be right, pleasing your partner is ALWAYS in style! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted October 23, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Is it possible that BP has some sort of OCD, and doesn't like to touch things that he "thinks" are dirty? Maybe a shower together so he knows things are clean before you PUT his hands there??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members katescott Posted October 23, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 I know I know you asked for a male voice, and I am faaaarrrr from that. I can honestly say I have never ever been with a man that doesn't finger his way around. I mean weirdly enough I can remember guys actually bragging if they got to finger a girl in high school. I am guessing times have changed a bit. I wonder what warrants a brag in high schoool now? Maybe because views about sexual things are so much more open now they just skip over the fingering and get right to lube and anal? I just don't know. We need more men to weigh in on this I am thinking. Meanwhile I will just thank my lucky stars that my DH is "old school" lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted October 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 I can't tell you what's in others' minds. For me fingering has never been out of style. But it's not really a topic around the water cooler . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 you know I was just thinking this the other day. my guy never does it either, and i asked him once and he just said that it was pointless....i guess i've been too shy to ask him again but i definitely think about it all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted October 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 Guy here - there may be another aspect to this. I have no qualms using any technique at my disposal to increase my partner's pleasure. However, I've shied away from doing manual stimulation because it never gets the desired response. What I usually hear is that I'm not touching the right way - either something is too sensitive, or not sensitive at all, or I've found just the right combination to drive her wild, BUT she doesn't want to climax from fingering. I can ask for feedback but it tends to come in the form of complaints rather than constructive criticism. If a guy hears enough negative response to what he's doing, he'll tend to stop doing it. Not saying this is your situation, just a possible scenario. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted October 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 With me he tends to mix it up sometimes fingers, sometimes mouth. I would rather the unpredictability of it with not knowing which he may or may not use. Either way he always makes sure there is plenty of foreplay and making sure that I am aroused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DanATX Posted November 17, 2011 Members Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 From this guy's point of view if it makes her feel good then I'm all for it. Besides I'm all for having fun touching and teasing before the main event. It's perfectly reasonable for you to want to be touched that way, more guys need to think about a woman's needs than just their own. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted November 20, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 Yeah that's kind of what I was thinking! In the spirit of giving, I think part of it is that we never have much time, its always quick and rushed. It gets old but I guess thats teh joy of a long distance relationship. Oy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mudshark Posted November 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Yeah that's kind of what I was thinking! In the spirit of giving, I think part of it is that we never have much time, its always quick and rushed. It gets old but I guess thats teh joy of a long distance relationship. Oy.As far as I am concerned, nothing is old and passe when it comes to sex. I love to please a woman to orgasm with my fingers and/or tongue. Mutual touching is a huge turn-on to me. I am fortunate that I have a wife who cums easily and multiple times and loves all types of foreplay. This way I can pleasure her in ALL ways and those orgasms just keep on a cummin'! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted December 10, 2011 Members Report Share Posted December 10, 2011 It seems you have been physically involved with boys rather than men. Or maybe your men or too self absorbed with themselves to be concerned with any partner.As for myself, there is no greater pleasure for me then to witness my woman's blissful reaction during orgasm, whether coitus intercourse, oral gratification, or simple masturbation.It really turns me on to feel my woman sexually turned on to the extent she is begging to be fucked. And that may only be achieved by foreplay. Some type of foreplay is essential for a great sexual experience, even if its just a visual stimulation for foreplay. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted January 15, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 As for myself, there is no greater pleasure for me then to witness my woman's blissful reaction during orgasm, whether coitus intercourse, oral gratification, or simple masturbation.Oh I get off, multiple times, its just a matter of switching things up and wanting a little variety. B figured out the hard way that it takes more to please me than just a enough humps to get me off. After several attempts to talk through our troubles, I broke up with him just before the holidays, bad timing I know, but I couldn't keep hanging on to something that wasn't working. That being said, apparently 2 weeks of being without seems to have changed somethings as he's been back and trying very hard to correct the short comings that we had before. We haven't hit the sack yet which I think with be the true test of whether or not her had changed his ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted January 15, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Hi Suzy P! OMG does this hit a nerve! My H was like that....he woudn't touch me there either and when he "accidently" did I swear he would literally wipe his hand off! For years no amount of talking or "showing" would change him. Then when finally I got him to grow out of that little mental block he was so inept and clueless I couldn't believe it....You could literally mark the spot and grab his hand to show him where and how and he STILL couldnt catch on. (Just one of the 100 other sexually dysfunctional issues that will eventually kill a relationship!) Quite frankly I think you can maybe blame the young ones on inexperience and ignorance, but after they've been "exposed" to sexual relationships for awhile and STILL have some kind of aversion then there are deeper issues there. Maybe they are assexual or gay and don't even realize it themselves. Repression or selfishness is a bad thing!I'm glad to hear your's is coming around! (But DON"T settle! You deserve what you want & need!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted January 15, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Well we're fairly long distance but I have FINALLY gotten him to break down and start sending pics, so far nothing dirty but well, its a start! And he's doing much better about the communication thing, which when you're long distance is all you kinda have. And at least when we're talking dirty, he's actually talking now and not just making me do all the work. Still demanding and wants what he wants, but he's slowly coming around to giving me what I want. Mostly because I've realized that the only way to train him is to deny him. No sir, my hands and mouth are going no where south of your border until you start showing me the same! Well okay, at least the hands I can live without the mouth, cause let me just be honest, I don't really enjoy it much any way! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted January 15, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Well we're fairly long distance but I have FINALLY gotten him to break down and start sending pics, so far nothing dirty but well, its a start! And he's doing much better about the communication thing, which when you're long distance is all you kinda have. And at least when we're talking dirty, he's actually talking now and not just making me do all the work. Still demanding and wants what he wants, but he's slowly coming around to giving me what I want. Mostly because I've realized that the only way to train him is to deny him. No sir, my hands and mouth are going no where south of your border until you start showing me the same! Well okay, at least the hands I can live without the mouth, cause let me just be honest, I don't really enjoy it much any way! LOLNice to see you Suzy. Sounds like you've "cum a long way baby". Is this gentleman your GI Joe man (ie - man in the US services)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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