How Your Bod Really Is Perceived By Your Sex Partner

[chloegirl]

Margaritas and girl's night out...led to some interesting discussions and questions...curious to hear all of ya'lls input:

Negative body image seems to worry alot of women no matter how young or old, how thick or thin, or if it's a new relationship or a long standing one. They want to know once and for all: you are both hot & aroused & attracted to each other. You have an amazing sexual compatibility. You are both ready for hours of amazing sex and play with each other. She looks good; in decent shape, hair, makeup, clothing, lingerie all good. But she's only human, there's always something that's not quite picture perfect, "model" condition. Now be honest, do you notice her cellulite? Or that her thighs might not be stick thin? Or that little poochy lower stomach, or whatever little body issue that she secretly frets about? Does it gross you out or turn you off the way she worries it does? The articles say guys don't care when they're about to get laid, but what about once you've gotten off? Do the imperfections stand out in your mind? We want to hear from real guys...dish!

[ladylove]

But would they be honest about it is a bigger question.

I believe anonymity breeds honesty.

Gotta' love ladies lunches!

[WendyNY]

We're WAITING.......... Well, since no men have responded yet, I will give my input. It's very true that men are visual-----Men notice women's bodies and are sexually turned on by them. It's also very true that men are turned on by a woman's CONFIDENCE. Of course if you point out exactly what it is that you don't like about yourself and continually focus on that-----well, it would be no surprise that he would also.

Of course I have things about myself that I don't like-but I try not to focus on them--they aren't really a big deal to anyone but me.

I was reading something while in a restaurant recently-----

On the front of the door to the Ladie's room was a sign under "LADIES" It said this:

"The most beautiful woman in the world is the one who thinks she is"-- Sophia Loren.

It's all about Confidence.

[square]

What are we up to, about 7 billion people in the world now? About half of them guys? I would expect there is going to be some variation in guys' views on imperfections. I've known some pretty shallow guys for whom imperfections would be a show stopper, or who would use them as an excuse to dump a girl after they got laid. I've known some others who really didn't care about or notice imperfections at all. I've known guys who had wives or girlfriends that put on a few pounds (and I mean not many pounds at all), and would start complaining "she's got a big butt now," and others who, again, never cared how heavy their wives got.

I've known girls who have said, yeah, if their boyfriends put on weight, that would be a problem and a total turn-off for them. And us dopey guys are told all the time, "pecker size doesn't matter." So I asked the question of a few girls, and the answer back was, yeah, size matters. One girl I used to know even laughed out loud at her boyfriend's tiny pecker when she saw it for the first time. Imagine being that guy. (I don't know if she continued dating him or not, but I don't think so.)

As for me, small imperfections are either going to be no big deal or something I just don't focus on. I focus on the things that attract me, not the things that don't. (And depending on the imperfection, it might even be a turn on.) I've got my own imperfects, so how picky can I be anyway?

When my wife popped out a kid and had put on some weight, it was not a big deal. I will say though that by the time she'd popped out the third kid and had put on a lot of weight, then it was hard to ignore and it had become a turn-off. But a bigger turn-off was that there were a lot of other issues and aggravations going on outside the bedroom that made me feel not very affectionate for her, for a time.

[ReadyToMoveOn]

Ok, I havent posted within this thread, but I did send "Chloegirl" a PM of my thoughts regarding her thread of imperfections...

Anyhow, more women are asking, So I thought I'd share with the vast majority of what I shared with Chloegirl...My message to her went somewhere along the lines of...

Do Men Notice Imperfections of Women, or Imperfections Of The Person Which They Are Sexually Attracted To ???

Simple answer, Yes, Of course, and any Man who says otherwise is not being honest with you or himself.

However, Men also have Imperfections, including myself. Men have receding hairlines, soft round bellies (some bigger then others), hair protruding from places we didnt know existed, the lists go on and on....But you understand....

As for personal, with wives, Gfs or a SO... I'll expand some...As I told Chloegirl in my PM to her, I come from a pretty large family, seven children, five sisters, one brother (and myself). For whatever reason, All the women in my family are pretty large, even while young kids growing up. And kids being kids, we fought like cats and dogs. My Sisters being somewhat larger than me and my brother, we always ended up on the bottom of the pile. Thus I swore from childhood I will never be with a woman who is large ( I swear its true).

So, all through puberty, high school, college, military, etc., every woman I have dated has been somewhat smaller than me. I lead an active lifestyle, and I do try to keep myself fit, though I still eat anything and everything I want, and drink what I want, I still take my aggression out in the gym to pay for My likes at the dinner table. Though since my Divorce, my diet has changed dramatically.

My Own Personal Notices...I will only speak of my past, not my current relationship...I was Married 20+ years. I believe my Ex was/is an attractive woman, even to this day she turns heads when she walks. She keeps herself fit with daily exercise and proper dieting. Does she have imperfections, of course she does. She bore Our children, thus she had some stretch marks, which have diminished over the years. I never discussed any perfections with her, though she would bring them to my attention, I always explained it didnt matter.

We had a very healthy sexual relationship throughout Our marriage. Sex was never the issue as we often engaged in Sex at least twice daily sometimes more. As for cellulite, No I never saw any and to this day I dont believe she has, I believe I would have noticed. The imperfections she may had or may have had, never not once interfered with my sexual urges.

With me at least, Visual is awesome, beautiful at times and can be down right sexxy. But it is more about whats between the ears. If youre not emotionally connected with your SO, it doesnt matter what your physical attributes may be, it wont last. And if oure just about "ME, ME, ME" it wont last either. BUT, if youre emotionally involved, again, caution is thrown into the wind and all is Grand!!!

So...Do I notice imperfections, of I course I do, as do you...But what is Imperfect to you, may be just what I find "PERFECT"..

For any women which may be large, please take no offense to my post. All of my Sisters and my Mother are large to this day. And they know my views on this subject, and they also know I love them forever. They still tease me that they had the best of me when we were kids. Dont tell them, But I was holding back, choosing not to strike any young Ladies...

[Kace]

Short answer: Do I notice my wife's tiny imperfections? Sure. But it doesn't diminish what I feel for her nor does it impede my enjoyment of sex. Even supermodels don't really look like their magazine photos - they've been made up and photoshopped. I prefer the natural look anyway - it says "here I am, I'm real".

+1 on Wendy's comment - confidence and enthusiasm are definitely my aphrodisiac!

[mystofpric]

Having only skimmed the posts, I want to just put this out there. I'm currently still with B, and I since I'm moving I decided to stick it out and at least get nookie on the regular, using him? Yes, sir I am. But he's happy, so who cares?

Any way. When I'm with B, I always feel some how wrong. I feel like he notices the flaws, and while he doesn't mention them, he doesn't compliment the highlights either (in addition to my GIANT rack, i also have very lovely reddish brown eyes that I don't see very often, as well as a mouth that its not only adorable but talented) so all in all I feel like i'm lacking some how. HOWEVER! My old college beau popped back up after not talking in a few years and within minutes of chatting on facebook he managed to make me feel like a goddess.

So guys, my point? Its not enough to skip past the flaws and see only the good, you have to let her know sometimes. Okay off my soap box!

[ladylove]

I also thing the the same goes for the Ladies to their Man. If you appreciate him, want him, think he's fabulous, etc.... let him know. I see so many women not letting their man know how wonderful he is.