Newbie Rose42 Posted June 7, 2012 Newbie Report Share Posted June 7, 2012 ok, so after 20 years of being married to a terrible lover I discover he wants to be submissive. Like tied up, controlled submissive. Last night we had our first experience with it and it was AWESOME! My problem is I dont know what he wants me to say and of course, like always, he wont tell me. He did do everything I said but I just don't know where to go past the handcuffs and blindfolds. Need help. how to I establish the basics of this type of sex? Although, I think he would love it, the mistress thing is not coming easy for me! How do I get myself more comfortable in this role, and by the way I am totally okay with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted June 8, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2012 Comfort comes with confidence. Confidence comes with knowledge. You've come to the right place as there are many here who can help you. My suggestion is that where he wants you to be in control, be in control. He doesn't get to pick and choose where and when he submits. He is yours. If he doesn't perform as you ask, even when answering a question, he deserves punishment. That doesn't mean harm necessarily. You are going to have to experiment. Remember to have safe words in case things get too far. Something out of the norm like "broomstick". When gagging, be sure you have a safety gesture.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted August 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 It might help to consider that you may have had years of vanilla sex and doing the same thing over and over was acceptable. Now that you've moved on there is a temptation to explore new areas right away, but really, there is no reason you suddenly you have to do something different or more extreme every time. Maybe tying him up and blindfolding him is enough for a while. Give yourselves time to grow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tiedupnaked33 Posted March 1, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2016 Ok , My opinion as male who loves feeling powerless and helpless at the hands of a female. Tie him naked to the bed spread eagle. Bring him to full erection and close to climax. Stop and leave for a while. Repeat this until his balls are killing him. Finally inform him your going to park your pussy on his face, and if he gives you a good enough orgasm, you will give him a handjob. After your climax make him wait some more. You can up the anti if he starts taking better care of your needs. As far as not knowing what he wants you to do. It does not matter what he wants. He is at your mercy. He does not want any choices. Good Luck. If you need more contact me. I am newbie and need some friendly chat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted March 1, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2016 Be a submissive is an act of trust. What you say or do not say may be second to your control and confidence during your sessions. It is likely that he will find pleasure in what ever brings you pleasure. So if you enjoy oral have him perform oral. If you like to have your feet worshiped have him worship your feet. Be playfully in charge. Now if you are going to get into bondage or pleasure/pain games I strongly suggest you have an in depth conversation with one another outside of play time. Talk about what you like, what you would like to try, what is questions and what is off limits for both of you. If your partner has trouble talking try doing it in writing. Look at some web sites devoted to the lifestyle and/or look at fetlife for some direction. Ask questions of those who are knowable. The submissive is the one with the power in the dyad. As such the submissive has the power to say stop or more or continue. While pushing limits may be good, remember that pushing over a limit can have very bad consequences. Also after care is equally important. Talking about what you both did and what was good will help for the next time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Biguy89 Posted May 28, 2016 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2016 I am new to bondage and thought i wouldnt like it but so far what my wife and i have tried i have enjoyed we are stepping it up slowly but all in all i can feel the spark again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members H. Housewife Posted July 25, 2017 Members Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 Wow that's fantastic and extremely lucky that your husband wants to be submissive. I think all guys should be it's a sexy thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Cinnamon 2112 Posted September 29, 2017 Members Report Share Posted September 29, 2017 I opened up to my husband about wanting to try some bondage he was totally into it, he tied me up and blind folded me, he used my bullet vibrator on me until I screamed. So hot. I also have tied him up and fucked him, just as hot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kinkster Posted September 29, 2017 Members Report Share Posted September 29, 2017 What works the best when I tie my wife to the bed, is to go at her with a dildo, and lick her clit at the same time! Keeps her cumming and cumming! Whichh reminds me, I haven't done that in a while! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tiedupnaked33 Posted October 1, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2017 On 7/25/2017 at 2:42 AM, H. Housewife said: Wow that's fantastic and extremely lucky that your husband wants to be submissive. I think all guys should be it's a sexy thought. All guys and all gals should be "switches". Expierience the best of two worlds, what ever your in the mood for. I am just naturally two different roles. The teachers on this site don't think "switch" exists. If I used their logic I could say, "bisexuals" don't exist. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tiedupnaked33 Posted October 1, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2017 On 9/29/2017 at 7:11 AM, Cinnamon 2112 said: I opened up to my husband about wanting to try some bondage he was totally into it, he tied me up and blind folded me, he used my bullet vibrator on me until I screamed. So hot. I also have tied him up and fucked him, just as hot. I am always to hear about another. Get after it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Cinnamon 2112 Posted October 23, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2017 I want to get a little more intense while playing the dominant role any suggestions? What to say? Do? Where? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kinkster Posted October 24, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 We have found the best success with being dominennt, is when the dominent one does what the submissive one wants and likes. Wife likes me to do oral, so when I tie her up, or use the fuzzy handcuffs, I do oral on her....RELENTLESSLY! Things like that.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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