Do You Think There's Too High A "number"?

[Tyger]

Do you think there's such a thing as TOO MANY lovers? If so, what is your personal opinion?

[Sunday]

At one time??

In a lifetime? It depends on your lifestyle. If you are married you'll probably going to stop putting notches on the headboard, so that will limit the number.

[Tyger]

No, not at one time.I mean like if you were dating someone, and you found out they had, let's say 25 previous lovers. Would that be ok, or would you possibly have a problem with that? HOPEFULLY one would stop putting notches in their belts when they get married, but let's face it, not all people do!

Anyway, just curious to see what some of our free-thinking members may consider a "high" number as far as lovers go. No judgements, just opinions.

[Sunday]

As long as I was the best, I guess I wouldn't care. There is a double standard though. I think women are expected to be more discriminating about who the have sex with, and you can't be too discriminating if you're racking up a big score. Men are expected to be discriminating, but at the same time fuck anything that will lay still. So they get a pass on having a lot of partners, even though I think men who exercise restraint get a certain respect.

[square]

More than just a number, what is the rest of their story? What is/are the reasons for a high number? Did they go through an "active" phase in life that they have since moved beyond? Or is it a continuing way of life? Or they are too antsy to stay with one partner. Is there something wrong with them (psycho, controlling)? Are you really supposed to believe that somehow you are special and once they are with you, they won't be actively working on their next score?

How have you come upon the knowledge of the high number? They told you? If so, are they believable?

A high number might also make me feel uneasy, in that they are going to be way more experienced than me, and will expect more skill than I can offer. I'll feel I can't compete with whoever else she's been with. I might well suffer from stage fright. Shaken confidence. Perpetual psycyhologically induced performance issues. Disaster in the making.

[ReadyToMoveOn]

Interesting question Tyger...

But I'm interested in your own thoughts of the question you've put forth...

Personally, I dont ask and I don't tell...When I was younger, I did date girls or women whom I know to be virgins at the time, but it wasn't a prerequisite of mine...Not then, not now...

Of course women I've had a relationship, when the subject has come up as far experience, I never have asked for a number, and if she asked, I have said I dont don't believe you to think I'm purely innocent in a sexual nature...

If isn't proper to ask a Lady her age, certainly asking a Lady of her conquest would seem improper as well...

But I would still like your thoughts on the matter 'Tyger'...

[Tyger]

As far as my opinion goes, do I think there's too high a number? Yeah. I think Gene Simmons' over 4000 women is overly ridiculous. Personally, I think anything over 20 is a bit high. However, I'd be ok with someone with 30 or less lovers, but I'd be overly cautious and curious why they had such a high of a number of people they'd been intimate with.

[JJ_Amie]

No, not at one time.I mean like if you were dating someone, and you found out they had, let's say 25 previous lovers. Would that be ok, or would you possibly have a problem with that? HOPEFULLY one would stop putting notches in their belts when they get married, but let's face it, not all people do! Anyway, just curious to see what some of our free-thinking members may consider a "high" number as far as lovers go. No judgements, just opinions.

When I got married I had to stop putting notches in that belt and trade it in for a bigger belt.

[Watchmestrokeit1]

I dunno....you get someone active in high school at about the age of 15 and even at a sex partner each year, that's 4. Then, say someone goes off the college and tacks on a few more during those years. Don't forget the few one-night stands to help you recover from break-ups. Throw in a few 2- to 5- year relationships, a few casual flings, some short-term relationships that last a few months, and you start to easily hit 20-30 partners by the time you are in your late 30's. I think 20-30 before a person is out of high school is definitely a bit excessive, but hitting that many by the time your are 40 isn't too far-fetched, espcially if you've never been married or only had one short-lived marriage (serious relationship). In many areas, people are not looking to even think about settling down until their late 20's or early 30's, and you can rack up a bunch of partners in your early and mid 20's while going through experiemental phases.....

After my divorce, I added five notches to my bedpost the first year with three of them within the first month of the split.

[Sunday]

I saw a TV interview with a "sex worker" who said she serviced oil workers in North Dakota for $400-$500 a pop. Later in the interview she said she'd made a million dollars since the oil boom started up there. I did a little math. A million divided by 500 is 2000 partners she's had since 2008. I guess she'll see your 30 and raise you 1,970.

In answer to your question, yes there is a number that is too many. It's somewhere between 30 and 2000.

[sassafrass_71]

I would have to say over 30 would be excessive... if we were basing it on person being say 40 yoa .

[Mikayla1]

No. I think that it is a personal choice to have sex with someone. I think that we all make good and bad choices in this department. I know my number is rather high, I have had many "moresomes" and such. I do not regret them nor am I ashamed of them. It does not define me as a person - or a lover. I do think that thousands of thousands would be damn excessive...but who is to say! I prefer quality over quantity at this point in my life, but that is just me!

[Sunshine Sam218]

To me I'm pretty open minded and willing on hearing them out. I'm not too quickly to judging someone. Not many past things has bothered me. I'm not perfect myself, I make mistakes and dated guys who I thought would love and always cherish me. Sure others have fallen into the same trap. I hate how there's always a number, I remember I used to get asked how many serious boyfriend's I had. This is a great topic, thanks for asking this.

[Sunday]

You are wise for a 29 year old, Samma. Rushing to judgement slams the door on many interesting experiences.

[RC4BLUE]

I don't like to place too high or too low on anyone. I think the most important thing is how you feel about the person you are with. If there is honesty, openness, intimacy, and mutual respect a number is not so important.

[Sunshine Sam218]

You are wise for a 29 year old, Samma. Rushing to judgement slams the door on many interesting experiences.

Wow I just read this and thank you!! This makes me happy, it really boosts up my self esteem cause my self esteem lately has been low lately.

Thank you hun! You're a sweetheart!

[cwgrltinkerbell21]

I am not so concerned about numbers as I am about if anything was caught from a number, treatment for, if any (it better be!) what damage did it to if any, as well, as curability…. aside from that, numbers are just a journey into finding the one you are meant to stick with. Wether it be 9 or 90.

[H. Housewife]

It really shouldn't matter about the number.

[Guest]

I have had about 20 different lovers in my life time .I found that you take a piece of that person's soul with you.I'm my experience anyway.I have been with my so for over 20 yrs and just her ! but I'm missing my past experiences with the others because she can't love me the way they did .....but she did in the beginning!

[Cinnamon 2112]

I say if you have chemistry with many people go for it, as long as your safe and clean about it it shouldn't matter. I myself have only had 2 sexual partners, my husband and the guy I dated before him.

[rockandrollhoochiekoo57]

My opinion? It's simple. Too many STD's out there these days. In the 70's it was common to have a lot of girl friends. Now, I think you need to get blood tests before sex. You just have to be sure, you know?

[Nancy]

I’m curious: Do you consciously or subconsciously compare lovers when you’re intimate with someone? Are you remembering past pleasures and partners?

[square]

On 9/16/2018 at 2:28 PM, Nancy said:

I’m curious: Do you consciously or subconsciously compare lovers when you’re intimate with someone? Are you remembering past pleasures and partners?

No.  Just lost in the present moment.

[tiedupnaked33]

Just wish you were one of them.

[tiedupnaked33]

Water under the bridge affects me not. Long as it ain't stretched too bad. Always thought the ass could be turned too for tite. Found that isn't always true either. What a disappointment that was.