Mi.Georgia.peach

Getting back out there

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So im out of a 13 year bad relationship and looking for fun. However my relationship was one where I was put down constantly. So I lost all self confidence and self assurance and have found that I am having to refind myself. I used to be brave and confident in my body and my sexuality.  Now im finding I shame myself for seaking of sex because it was only his time and his desires that were filled. 

So basically im in my 30s and just now starting to experience the fun of toys and new positions and dating. I just wanted to thank ya'll for making me feel comfortable in my own skin and making me comfortable to voice my own desires again. 

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First, congrats on finding your renewed confidence and comfort. As you continue to grow in this new life I hope the confidence and courage grow with you. Your sexuality is as important as all other areas of your life. May you find pleasure and strength in your own discoveries. Follow your passion and your passion will up lift you.

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Welcome to the group !!  13 years in a bad relationship can kick your butt. But your only 33 and you have a whole lotta good years and plenty of time to get yourself back to living, and loving, yourself and life . Figure out what you want in life , love and happiness and go for it.  Try to put the past behind you and look to the future . It will be an exciting time for you. Don't be afraid to reach out and meet new people . Try new things, be adventurous , but pay attention to everything around you at the same time. Reinventing yourself and your new personality can be somewhat scary, but fun and a great learning experience. You will discover things about yourself that you never knew before.  Hopefully this group will help you find the answers to questions you may have about sexual thoughts and give you ideas to explore and learn in a comfortable manor.Don't be shy!  Enjoy yourself !:D

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Thank you both. I am def learning to enjoy myself and actually be comfortable with the idea of it. I am also finding that going from a relationship to solo means your mind and body act like a teen again lol. I swear I think of sex all the time and the simplest thing turns me on or gets me wet.

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Ya I am still dealing with the legal but I am over him. Well the over wanting anything from him aspect anyway. I still find myself more than a year later shying away from my feelings or covering my body when I shouldn't or hell even apologizing for things that aren't my fault. The dating thing scares me I am not gonna lie but I am def enjoying my time on my own and learning to be me again. 

58 minutes ago, Tiny Flower said:

Ms Georgia, I am going through the same thing but after 30+ years. I feel like the world passed me by I missed it. I feel the same way to. Except I'm not thru the shock of it. Being alone.Unsure. Scared. Doubting myself. I enjoyed the letters that answered you to.  

 

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Moving forward is the most important part of a new life after the end of a relationship. You will learn what is best for you. You will become more confident each day. You will trust your feelings more and more. The dating scene is crazy. I am cautious out there. I can only imagine how more crazy it is being a woman in the dating world at times. But, learning you and what you like/dislike, learning your passions, discovering your talents and skills is an amazing thing. If you have been devoid of sexual expression for some time, this new found freedom can be both exilerating as well as sometimes confusing. Trust your body and your feelings. Most of all give yourself love.

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Great advice!!!  Everybody needs a shoulder to lean on for support and comfort, especially in situations such as these. It's grateful this group is here to help each other out.

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On 6/5/2017 at 5:43 PM, Tiny Flower said:

Thanx ms Georgia scuba rc4. Good advice I will deff try. Moving forward easier said than done. I try. 

On the plus side you can tell us all about it because we don't know you and won't judge you. Plus you can say what you want from what I am learning and people are glad you did. Unlike our previous relationships 

 

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12 hours ago, Tiny Flower said:

Thanx. Sometimes I like to read the stories when I find them. I hav been walking my dog and getting out, being selfish and thinking of me. Helps me take a break from it all. thanks to all who suggested something fun for me. My dog thanks you to .:Dtaking each day as it comes. 

image.jpeg

I am learning that taking care of you is not selfish. I still struggle with that sometimes because it was never about me it was always about him. I wanted to please him and lost site of myself in the process. I still sometimes feel guilty doing things for myself. However the more time goes by and the more things I do myself the easier it gets and the happier I am becoming. You got this just enjoy being yourself for a little while. 

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My ex was very manipulative and controlling too. I felt bad about myself neaaar the end due to him ignoring me for 5 yrs or so. He'd use me for sex, sometimes, or just use me to penetrate him analy, then go back to playing his video games. I thought I had lost all of my attractiveness.

Thankfully,  I left, took about 2 yrs to regain ME before dating seriously. 

Feel free to message me if you want any advice on dating. I will say that online dating can be stupid - ridiculous, and more games are played than in real life!!!!! 

Take time for YOU. Regain yourself. Learn what it is to be just YOURSELF. :)

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On Monday, June 05, 2017 at 4:43 PM, Tiny Flower said:

Thanx ms Georgia scuba rc4. Good advice I will deff try. Moving forward easier said than done. I try. 

Yes, it is. One step at a time  hon.

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I was married for 24 yrs. I can relate to a lot of these issues also. After lots of therapy & talking with any friend & family member that might help, I was ready to date again. Holy crap! Is that a different world! Dating today is nothing like dating 2 1/2 decades ago. Like almost any hurdle in life, "this too shall pass" & you'll get on with your new life & little by little, it'll get better.

A book that helped me a lot was:

"Getting Past Your Breakup, How to Turn a Devastating Loss Into The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You."

by Susan J. Elliott

My advice -- make the lists she suggests! Absolutely do it! Sooo therapeutic! The best thing then, is to literally burn that shit!

All of my best to anyone going through any serious break-up (short marriage, long marriage, serious relationship, whatever)!

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So, how's it going?

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On 6/8/2017 at 10:39 AM, Tiny Flower said:

Thanx. Sometimes I like to read the stories when I find them. I hav been walking my dog and getting out, being selfish and thinking of me. Helps me take a break from it all. thanks to all who suggested something fun for me. My dog thanks you to .:Dtaking each day as it comes. 

image.jpeg

Hope you’re doing better these days. It’s great to take things one day at a time. No pressure, no rush. Importantly, be yourself, and the right people can gravitate towards you Tiny Flower :)

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