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Is it weird or wrong to use wholesome things for sexual pleasure?


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Those little suction bulbs for nipples never have enough suction for me, and nipple clamps are the other extreme. Too painful. But when I was with one of my friends while she was with a lactation consultant she, after the consultant was thoroughly satisfied that I wasn't producing milk that would mix with hers, let me try the breast pump for half a minute and it was a mind blowing experience. It was like losing my virginity all over again while getting a deep tissue massage (in terms of pleasure, not sensation) after drinking five cosmopolitans.

On the way home I stopped and bought a hospital grade breast pump.  I have nipple orgasms every time I use it, though some days it takes longer than others because I have to shake the guilt.

You don't get much more wholesome than breastfeeding. In fact, in my circle of friends it's considered sacred. We even have a ritual whenever a woman in our group has a child and her milk comes in, whether she's a first time mother or it's her seventh child. It's a closed secular communion of sorts, open only to those who can be trusted not to sexualize it. She hand expresses into a chalice, then we form a line, kneel in front of her while we put our hands on her breasts (considered sacred by my group, though I swear we're not a cult. Just friends celebrating womanhood (and even trusted guys celebrate it with us)), and she wets our lips with her milk before the baby's father or co-mother drinks it.

So breastfeeding is actually treated with reverence. No one has gotten onto me for using a breast pump for pleasure. In fact, some of my friends use mine for the same purpose when they're at my house or they'll borrow one from a mother in our group who doesn't need it, but I can't help but feel a little guilty about using something designed specifically for something as wholesome as helping to feed a baby for sexual gratification.

Is this weird or wrong? Should I just put it away and give it to the next new mother in my circle of friends or should I keep enjoying it?

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You are not the first woman or last woman to find pleasure from a breast pump. Body’s have their own sensations and desires. Stimulating a typically sensitive spot can and will have effects. The guilt you may experience is only that which you carry. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can have pleasure and atnother times be completely focused on being a mother. If you can separate the two good for you. Like any other device (tens unit, clothespins, spatula, etc) there can be multiple uses for the item at hand. The only thing that I would suggest is that you pay attention to your own comfort level and then use the pump or not as fits with you and your comfort. 

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