Call Me "Buzzi Guzzi"

[Ricardo Da Man]

I bought the BOOTY BLASTER VIBRATING BUTT PLUG  with high expectations. I moved into the wonderful world of massive butt plugs as a New Years Resolution on Jan. 1, 2018, as I was entering semi retirement.  Prior to that I dabbled mostly in the small to medium range plugs. This year, however, things were gonna be different. I had moved into a remote property and had plenty of time on my hands.  What brought me to this plug was the large knob that I thought would help with insertion. Plus I love the black color for obvious reasons. In addition it is a monster plug, one that I knew would be a challenge to bury.

It was mid January when I finally pulled the trigger and ordered it. When the Auspost dude handed it to me, he had no idea what he was delivering. I had it delivered to a neighbours house as I didn't want wifey opening the box had it been delivered to my home. She wouldn't understand and knows nothing of this secret hobby of mine. By the weekend I had two hours of alone time to acquaint myself with “Lebron” as I named him. Setting the thing on the table I was taken by it's very cool lines. Someone really put a lot of thought into the architecture of the thing. I had to admit I had my doubts that I'd be able to handle the size. After some warm up exercises and a few shots of chilli schnapps (my homemade specialty) I dove right into it. I usually like the shower to be my battleground for such endeavors. After a thorough cleaning of it with hand soap I set Lebron right on the shower floor and took a few deep breaths in with zen-like focus. Next I applied a dollop of vaseline to it. Basically I then just sat down on it. First thing I noticed was the base didn't offer the best support. It takes a lot of down pressure to get the first segment inside and the thing kept sliding out and falling over. Those were some frustrating moments wanting badly to get the party started, but not being able to achieve take-off. I bumped my head on the wall a few times and was a bit dizzy by this stage.  This might not be a problem if you had a partner to shove the thing inside, but Ricardo Da Man flys solo. After ten somewhat awkward minutes I finally hit pay-dirt. Think of a snake swallowing an egg. The first knob slipped in with a woosh. The second segment  was a bear. It fought me for twenty minutes to get over the final hump before I finally ringed it. There is a tapering from the second segment to the final base shaft which causes the thing to essentially cork itself within you. If the base itself didn't taper back out, the thing would disappear inside you quicker than wombat into it's den. I wish they would have engineered it with a larger shaft as well as a much larger base. With me, I came very close to swallowing the base shaft AND the base itself in one sudden motion. Luckily I saw it coming and was able to squeeze off at just the right time. Once one of these giants plants itself deep, even a proctologist will scratch his head trying to figure out a plan of extraction. I avoided that scenario, though, and quickly slipped into seventh heaven. I actually giggled aloud at my accomplishment, before feeling myself drift into deep relaxation. Ahhh the serenity!  The length is perfect and the graduations are nearly perfectly spaced to give you that fullness at just the right spots.

As I knew my wife would be home shortly I retired to my man cave.  Walking was difficult, with Lebron inside me, felt like John Wayne in one of those western movies.  I spent around twenty minutes with it buried before hitting the vibrate button.  It vibrated so hard my teeth were chattering.  When I talked it sounded like I was talking into a fan.  What a buzz Lebron!  A few more chilli shots, a smoke and my life was now complete.

Now the Pièce De Résistance.  With Lebron buried in me and vibrating like a hive of wasps I headed out on a motorcycle ride on my Moto Guzzi.  Stopped at a local bar for a few beers, buzzing the hole time.  As I left I heard the bartenders laughing to themselves.  The next time I went in there they tried to hold back their laughter and I heard them say "Buzzi Guzzi is back".

Pulling such a large object out with such a small base is tough. There is not enough purchase to get your fingers on it, but I finally managed to get him out. Once you back it out past the largest segment the thing rockets out like there's no tomorrow. I wasn't expecting it and the thing flew out and knocked over a few beer cans on the bar. All in all I think it's a very good product and appears well made. The thing is definitely built for the long haul. It's a substantial, quality plug. I truly believe the final base shaft should be at least 3/4 of an inch larger, and the base itself should be two inches wider and one inch longer. What a nice ride though.

It's a great piece of equipment for any big plugger, like me, to have in his arsenal. One final note. Did the company really needs to give it a such a boring name? Instead how about calling it something simple, like Lebron?  It' the first New Years resolution I have ever kept.

[Tyger]

Very nice! Thanks for sharing!!

So, you're saying that the vibes can be heard, even with the toy inside of you? Obviously, apparently, if people at a bar heard it.

Also, a word of warning......I'd invest in some anal lube......and be careful, because you can't use a silicone lube with a silicone toy, it destroys them. Petroleum jelly is slick, but it's not meant for internal use, and can cause bacteria to be harbored in places that it really shouldn't be.

Thanks for sharing the story! I'd love to read more in the Anal Avenue section, about your adventures!!!