Married a long time and lost...

[3DTiger]

My first post here but i need somewhere to let out my frustration.

My husband and I have been married 16 years and I absolutely love him to death but Im suffering in silence.  When we first got married sex was amazing, I was very insecure about my body as a bigger woman and he taught me how to love myself.  He opened me up to new experiences and I now love things I said I would never do.  Over the years we have slowly declined in the frequency of having sex.  I have lost weight, gained weight and yet it never mattered to my husband who has that metabolism people would kill for.  Problems began when he started having trouble with ED.  He will not go to a doctor for that or anything else.  He is the breadwinner of the house and I understand that takes a toll on a person both mentally and physically.  I worked  until a few months ago - his idea for me to stay home.  I do everything here: cook, clean, tend the animals, run our daughter to her work and appointments, split wood, mow the property... heck I even help him when he works on our trucks. 

The problem is, I am always in the mood but am almost always shot down from my attentions.  When hes in the mood (maybe once a month lately) everything is great and hes happy go lucky, the sex is amazing ... when he wants it.  Im tired of being told no, Im tired of feeling unattractive.  Im tired of him not noticing when I dress nice or do something special for him.  Im tired of trying to do everything in my power to get him to notice me in a sexual manner.  I asked him if he just wasn't attracted to me a few weeks ago, he said he loves me and is attracted to me, doesn't see himself anywhere else but with me.  Hes not cheating, that I know for sure.   He watches porn and I dont care other than feeling hurt that he would rather masturbate than have sex with me. 

Im lost, how do I make him understand?

[Jimbob]

Barge in to his masterbation sessions and either duplicate the screen, or just masterbation right beside him. Then proclaim it good and share what can be shared. Then bug his computer to let you know whenever he is on a porn site. 

Everything you describe is so normal it just stinks. Meaning, it stinks for you. But salvage is part of the game for a loving but near sexless relationship. I'm kind of jealous 'cause my wife lost interest in sex AND me and found an old guy who didn't want it either. A real bummer for me and the kids.

[Fun4her +me!]

Having E.D. sucks. I love my wife but I can't get it up for her, looking at pics of naked woman,  watching porn, reading sex stories , or reading some of the sexy posts here in forums! Masturbating with a soft cock, that is not fun! My sex drive is high but my little guy doesn't  want to co-operate and turn into my Big Man! I bought a Hollow Strap-on from TooTimid and it didn't phase my wife! She liked my Big Man but she won't kiss or suck the little guy to get him to turn into BIG Man! 3D when you see your man masturbating, tell him that you will do that for him, and don't just use your hand, but rub his cock on your pussy and clit as well! Another thing you can do kneel down in front of him topless and while you masturbate him, give him a tit job at the same time! Last resort get yourself a strap-on where one part goes into your pussy and the other part goes somewhere else like his butt hole -  TooTimid has a wide variety. Tie him up or get some bondage equipment from TooTimid and then get his butt hole open wide and lube it real good and tell him since he won't have sex with you the normal way, he's going to have sex with you, your way! Some men love being dominated by a strong woman, and you may never know he might like the new you, if he don't just remember he's tied up and part of BDSM is discipline, especially if you dress to fit the part! 

[DewMan@1961]

14 hours ago, Fun4her +me! said:

Having E.D. sucks. I love my wife but I can't get it up for her, looking at pics of naked woman,  watching porn, reading sex stories , or reading some of the sexy posts here in forums! Masturbating with a soft cock, that is not fun! My sex drive is high but my little guy doesn't  want to co-operate and turn into my Big Man! I bought a Hollow Strap-on from TooTimid and it didn't phase my wife! She liked my Big Man but she won't kiss or suck the little guy to get him to turn into BIG Man! 3D when you see your man masturbating, tell him that you will do that for him, and don't just use your hand, but rub his cock on your pussy and clit as well! Another thing you can do kneel down in front of him topless and while you masturbate him, give him a tit job at the same time! Last resort get yourself a strap-on where one part goes into your pussy and the other part goes somewhere else like his butt hole -  TooTimid has a wide variety. Tie him up or get some bondage equipment from TooTimid and then get his butt hole open wide and lube it real good and tell him since he won't have sex with you the normal way, he's going to have sex with you, your way! Some men love being dominated by a strong woman, and you may never know he might like the new you, if he don't just remember he's tied up and part of BDSM is discipline, especially if you dress to fit the part! 

You are a good friend of mine and friends help friends in need. And I would be more than happy to help you out and give her all she wants and needs !! Mmmmm

[DewMan@1961]

[Tyger]

I'd be interested to see how 3D is doing, since this post is older.

For some men, they feel less than a man if they start to get ED. I think those men would be a bit more understanding when a woman goes thru menopause. Strangely enough, I have yet to hear that's the case.

Men don't like to admit that they're having an issue. It's instinctual actually. Asking for help is a sign of weakness, and, in the way of nature, weakness looses the ladies, status, and makes you an easy target. Even as "modern" as we pretend to be, Mother Nature still drives us in many ways. It's hard to win against instinct, even if it sounds silly.

For anyone else experiencing this, it's high time that you have some serious heart to hearts. What people experiencing ED (or menopause for that matter), is that, if your spouse is of the opposite sex, physically, there is no way that they can truly know how you're feeling. Whether you're the one feeling neglected, or the one that's having the hormonal issues. Speaking up, and being honest, WITHOUT THE GUILT PLAYING, and keep talking about it, is the only way to get over it emotionally. Then, getting them to the doctor for a checkup and possible assistance with balancing it all out. Whether that may be homeopathic, or medicinal, is up to the patient themselves.

The key is not to make the person having the physical issues feel bad. They are probably so lost in what they can't do, or how they feel their body is betraying them, that, they have no idea that you're feeling neglected. When they do know, then, they usually feel bad about that as well.

Yeah, it's a delicate thing, but, truly,  kind honesty is the best policy when dealing with this.

[Fun4her +me!]

On 9/29/2020 at 10:08 PM, Tyger said:

I'd be interested to see how 3D is doing, since this post is older.

For some men, they feel less than a man if they start to get ED. I think those men would be a bit more understanding when a woman goes thru menopause. Strangely enough, I have yet to hear that's the case.

Men don't like to admit that they're having an issue. It's instinctual actually. Asking for help is a sign of weakness, and, in the way of nature, weakness looses the ladies, status, and makes you an easy target. Even as "modern" as we pretend to be, Mother Nature still drives us in many ways. It's hard to win against instinct, even if it sounds silly.

For anyone else experiencing this, it's high time that you have some serious heart to hearts. What people experiencing ED (or menopause for that matter), is that, if your spouse is of the opposite sex, physically, there is no way that they can truly know how you're feeling. Whether you're the one feeling neglected, or the one that's having the hormonal issues. Speaking up, and being honest, WITHOUT THE GUILT PLAYING, and keep talking about it, is the only way to get over it emotionally. Then, getting them to the doctor for a checkup and possible assistance with balancing it all out. Whether that may be homeopathic, or medicinal, is up to the patient themselves.

The key is not to make the person having the physical issues feel bad. They are probably so lost in what they can't do, or how they feel their body is betraying them, that, they have no idea that you're feeling neglected. When they do know, then, they usually feel bad about that as well.

Yeah, it's a delicate thing, but, truly,  kind honesty is the best policy when dealing with this.

I don't feel less of a man  because of E.D., I'd feel less of a man if I caught my wife in bed with a woman and I did not not know about it! I talked to a guy in bar a long time ago who seemed down on his luck, so we struck up a conversation. My marriage was also on the rocks with my wife soon to be my ex-wife! That night this guy was telling me he was out of town a lot and he got a chance to go home early so he decided not to call  to surprise her, but he's the one that got surprised. He had parked his car a little ways down the street so he could sneak into the house quietly and soon as he got in the house, he heard loud sounds coming from the master bedroom since the door was open.  When he finally got to the door and peeked in, his wife and another woman were going at it hell bent with a Double Dong. He didn't say a word sneaked out the house and came to the bar! I told him I would have ripped off my clothes and got in bed and screwed the heck out of both of them, he told me that never crossed his mind. He then asked me what I was doing at the bar and I told him my story, unlike him being out of town I was supposed to work late and called my wife telling her I'd be home late. Since I worked in a warehouse we were supposed to have a late delivery, but the truck broke down that we were waiting on and delivery would not be till late the next morning. So I told him the same thing, I didn't call either to surprise  her, but unlike him I got a  different surprise. I parked my car in front of my neighbors house also to sneak into the house. Our house at the time you go through the font door you make a quick right you're in the living room and you look straight at the sofa! So I told my drinking friend when I opened the front door quietly and turned to go into the living room, my wife and this guy were 69ing each other on the couch, but I did not sneak back out I yelled W-T-H is this!  A wife can't  make any excuses when you catch her with another man's cock in her mouth! I stormed out of the house and that's how I ended up at the bar! I found out later the guy was her ex-boyfriend and he was just going to stop by and see how she was doing until I called and told her I was going to be late and an opportunity presented itself! I told my new friend we should go back to his house and screw his wife and the woman she was with and show them what real men with a hard dicks could do, or we go back to my house and throw the guy out and fill all her holes with two hard cocks at the same time,  starting with  DMP, to  DVP, and then DAP, and any other MFM  DP we could come up with and literally screw her dry till she had no more orgasms. The more we talked the more ideas we came up and one was to tie my wife's hands, blindfold her, and throw her in the back of my car naked and follow him to his house.  When we get to his house burst into bedroom keeping my wife tied up and throw her on the bed with them, then making his wife sit on my wife's face forcing her to eat pussy. We then take the other woman and do a MFM threesome with her while watching my wife eat his wife's wet hole! The more we talked the more we drank and then we switched from talking about what we could, would, or should do we just stayed in the bar having a good time calling our wives sluts, whores, harlots, and anything else we could think of, until it was closing time! We should have exchanged phone numbers so we could plan getting our wives together at a time of our choosing  and make them have sex with each other and each of us, and turn them into really wanton sluts! A couple of months later my wife and I were separated, I didn't trust her anymore and what love we had left for each other disappeared that night on the couch and in her mouth!

[Fun4her +me!]

On 9/28/2020 at 7:56 PM, DewMan@1961 said:

You are a good friend of mine and friends help friends in need. And I would be more than happy to help you out and give her all she wants and needs !! Mmmmm

I have one of those male enhancers, but I'm upgrading to the one that holds a vibrating bullet, and also looking for an Anal Thrusting Prostate Vibrator!