Members Leedo Posted March 28, 2019 Members Report Share Posted March 28, 2019 I know this sounds contradictory, but I love my wife and don’t want to mess anything up. But after 25 years of marriage I miss the talk of sex, how it would feel, pictures, etc... I use to work in production environment and I worked and became very close to a female co worker, and we shared soo many things, talk, touch, and eventually sex. I cannot imagine anything here would ever be physical and that’s fine, but the connection of someone else wanting the same thing would be great. First is trust then maybe photos, it would have to be a needle in a hay stack type thing. I just long for the sharing of something other than my wife. Does that make me a bad person? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie BBB Posted March 31, 2019 Newbie Report Share Posted March 31, 2019 Alot of people do that. I've done that with coworkers and they were married. Is it wrong I dont know. I guess that depends on how you and your wife's relationship is. But it's a thrill to send pictures and talk about sex. Your not the only one. But maybe you should tell your wife you want to spice things up and send pictures back and forth. I find it's fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Leedo Posted April 2, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2019 Thank you, I was in aware a lot of people do that, and you are correct it is very exciting, however, I don’t think I will mention it to my wife, she believes any participation of this type of behavior is advertising, which I strongly dis-agree. Thinking that this is advertising to generate interest to ultimately hook up is crazy. This is WAY too big of platform. This is JUST an “out” for me to express myself. I will say I have participated in erotic talk with co-workers, and another women dropped her house key in my hand, how embarrassing, I had to tell her it was all in fun. I reckon it’s like teasing each other, with the knowledge you can’t touch but you can see things and talk about thinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members saltybear Posted April 20, 2019 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2019 @BBB Texting is hot and easier for someone who might not speak sex. I've got to know coworker better by teasing text. Some would not casually engage verbally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dkmortensen Posted May 3, 2019 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2019 I may be out in left field here but humor me for a bit. Most men feel that the biggest sex organ on a female is the vagina when in reality it is their brain. For us men our biggest sex organ is our penis if it reacts so do we. When texting coworkers you are talking to another person flirtatiously letting them get to know you and you getting to know them. Because you don’t share responsibilities like paying bills or driving kids to activities you can open up that conversation to go anywhere. The reason the coworker dropped her keys in your hand was because you were speaking sex to her mind which translated to her wanting more. Your wife knowing this about woman is the reason she is trying to explain why she sees it as advertising. Which puts you in the position of explaining that it is just a way out because when you committed to the marriage you committed yourself to her but that you like to talk about sex with other people. It puts both of you in an awkward situation. Now you are inadvertently telling her she is just a glorified roommate. That makes her more distant. Like I said just humor me. Know that we know that the females biggest sex organ is her brain how do you involve your wife in these texts or sexual conversations? Take her out to a neutral environment and explain to her that she is the most important person in your life and that you like to have sexual conventions with people. Ask her if she would be willing to act as the coworker from the New York office? Where you both could come up with a name and during the day you could text “Katie” from the office questions, flirtatious texting. What this does is allow your wife a way to step out of her roll as wife and be that coworker. Some things you bring up may be what is going on in your actual life, that is ok. This makes it so your wife feels like she is helping you, but the biggest thing is you are talking and acting towards her biggest sex organ her brain. You may find her open up a lot more in more ways than one. Communication is just as important as the lube on the nightstand. sorry if this sounds preachy, I spent over 5 years doing research on sex just to keep our marriage. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crazy Cat Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 If my husband would do this I think I could mention ALL the things I need as a woman and a wife. I can barely get the two grocery items texted without complaint.😢 communication is hard, and it shouldn't be, with the one person the knows you inside and out, and pledged a lifetime with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Leedo Posted June 22, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2019 4 hours ago, Crazy Cat said: If my husband would do this I think I could mention ALL the things I need as a woman and a wife. I can barely get the two grocery items texted without complaint.😢 communication is hard, and it shouldn't be, with the one person the knows you inside and out, and pledged a lifetime with you. I am sorry for you, and what your enduring, but just because you talk flirtatiously does not mean anything will come from it. How many times in your life will you have the opportunity to discuss ANYTHING you want to discuss? The things your husband or my wife will not entertain. That is the attractive aspect in all this. Personally right wrong or not, I love finding that one person to share my thoughts and desires with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crazy Cat Posted June 22, 2019 Report Share Posted June 22, 2019 10 hours ago, Leedo said: am sorry for you, and what your enduring, but just because you talk flirtatiously does not mean anything will come from it. How many times in your life will you have the opportunity to discuss ANYTHING you want to discuss? The things your husband or my wife will not entertain. That is the attractive aspect in all this. Personally right wrong or not, I love finding that one person to share my thoughts and desires with. I agree Leedo, having a friend you can be flirtatious with and discuss topics your spouse will not entertain can be fun. And I actually have a couple of friends like that in my life. But I was coming at this from the angle of opening the lines of communication between my shy husband and I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Leedo Posted June 24, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2019 On 6/22/2019 at 8:52 AM, Crazy Cat said: I agree Leedo, having a friend you can be flirtatious with and discuss topics your spouse will not entertain can be fun. And I actually have a couple of friends like that in my life. But I was coming at this from the angle of opening the lines of communication between my shy husband and I. I understand, I too had those friends at one time, then everyone got different jobs and lost contact. I miss having that in my life, there are benefits to having friends like this. I think a person, my wife and your husband needs the opportunity to express themselves without the fear of judgement or opinion. To be able to express themselves without boundaries, but sometimes due to social status or expectations of ones self it’s necessary to have separation between everyday life and fantasy. Don’t mean to be preachy, I am just trying to convey thoughts into words as I think you would be able to grasp the message I am trying to present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Leedo Posted July 9, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted July 9, 2019 Thank you for response, sometimes I think my desire to share in stolen moments, of being able to be totally open with what I desire is very relieving. I think it’s a curse at times, I do try to keep our sex life very active and exciting, and my wife has indulged slightly lately, in that, I love to hear how much she loves taking a really big dick when I wear a penis sleeve I purchased , then added ALOT of vibration, she has such a hard orgasum twice and her pussy gets so sloppy wet my balls get soaked, them I take the sleeve off and ABSOLUTELY love how stretched and sloppy wet it is. I just love the way a pussy looks, feels, taste, and smells sweet. I have never seen an ugly pussy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members My Turn Posted September 22, 2019 Members Report Share Posted September 22, 2019 On 5/3/2019 at 7:43 AM, dkmortensen said: I may be out in left field here but humor me for a bit. Most men feel that the biggest sex organ on a female is the vagina when in reality it is their brain. For us men our biggest sex organ is our penis if it reacts so do we. When texting coworkers you are talking to another person flirtatiously letting them get to know you and you getting to know them. Because you don’t share responsibilities like paying bills or driving kids to activities you can open up that conversation to go anywhere. The reason the coworker dropped her keys in your hand was because you were speaking sex to her mind which translated to her wanting more. Your wife knowing this about woman is the reason she is trying to explain why she sees it as advertising. Which puts you in the position of explaining that it is just a way out because when you committed to the marriage you committed yourself to her but that you like to talk about sex with other people. It puts both of you in an awkward situation. Now you are inadvertently telling her she is just a glorified roommate. That makes her more distant. Like I said just humor me. Know that we know that the females biggest sex organ is her brain how do you involve your wife in these texts or sexual conversations? Take her out to a neutral environment and explain to her that she is the most important person in your life and that you like to have sexual conventions with people. Ask her if she would be willing to act as the coworker from the New York office? Where you both could come up with a name and during the day you could text “Katie” from the office questions, flirtatious texting. What this does is allow your wife a way to step out of her roll as wife and be that coworker. Some things you bring up may be what is going on in your actual life, that is ok. This makes it so your wife feels like she is helping you, but the biggest thing is you are talking and acting towards her biggest sex organ her brain. You may find her open up a lot more in more ways than one. Communication is just as important as the lube on the nightstand. sorry if this sounds preachy, I spent over 5 years doing research on sex just to keep our marriage. I love this and would love to have this discussion with my husband. It completely sums up how I feel about the little I know that he does. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dkmortensen Posted September 24, 2019 Members Report Share Posted September 24, 2019 On 9/22/2019 at 7:20 AM, My Turn said: I love this and would love to have this discussion with my husband. It completely sums up how I feel about the little I know that he does. It can be super frustrating trying to explain how the female body works to a guy. I did not know anything about how the female body works, I just thought if she wasn’t wet enough for sex she just needed more lube. Thinking that the vagina worked the same way as my penis. Boy was I wrong. As are so many other men out there and it saddens me to see so many men that are frustrated but they compound the issue by sticking their head in the sand and say oh I know how a woman works. Then they say but she lets me know when she is ready, or they go long periods between sex. I had no idea that my wife was thinking about how many loads of laundry she needed to get done, or what to get at the grocery store for dinners the next week, or how she liked the last tv show she just watched. All while having sex. Then I couldn’t figure out why she was not engaged in sex. And she was always frustrated because all I wanted to talk about was sex to her, she felt like she could not be sexual enough for my needs. Too many relationships get entangled in this Bermuda Triangle. Some never make it out. So men if you are reading this I implore you to try to widen your horizons and do some research on speaking first to the female mind. There is a great book called Woman come First. And many podcasts out there to listen to. Be willing to come home and share in the work load of the house. Folding laundry, doing dishes, vacuuming, or vacuuming naked lol. This is just the start. Now you are starting to speak to her mind. Next ask her about her day and actively listen put away the distractions, Tv,cell,computer, and even kids. Now that my sound trivial to us guys but this is HUGE for a female. Why? Because if they are frustrated and have no way to vent their frustrations their is nothing you are going to be able to do in your bag of tricks to lure her into having sex that night. Now she may give in to having sex that night but she is in no way engaged or even turned on. She is just allowing you to use her as your masterbation toy so you can get off and she can continue on with the week. Ok, sorry for going off like that. Men take the time to speak to her mind. Take out all the variables. And most of all make sure she cums first with every sexual encounter. Now if she slips in the shower with you just to give you a BJ before heading out to work that is a bonus just gravy on the biscuit letting you know you are headed the right direction. Woman, please, please,please. Feel free to open up and discuss how your body works. What are your turn ons, what are your turn offs. My wife hates facial hair she says it’s like kissing a sheet of sand paper. Then when I do go down on her it rubs her thighs raw. Sorry got side tracked. Woman, please understand that us men who are in a marriage or committed relationship we are open to coaching. We would love to know how you work but you have to let us know. Now the conversation may go like this. Honey I know this may sound strange but I get really turned on when I see you doing ____. Or when you wear that shirt you never wear. Or when you sit down and actively listen to my concerns of the day. Don’t be afraid to say that these things are a bigger turn on than him standing in front of you naked asking if you are ready. Ok, another side note. Guys woman like this will not even notice if you walked into the living room naked. Sounds bizarre I know because if the tables were turned and the female walked into the living room naked. We would go from whatever we were doing to hard on in less than a second. I have tried it. I have gotten naked and sat on the couch across from my wife. It took her 15 minutes to realize I was fully naked. Woman do not have that type of stimulus. My Turn, you can read this to your husband and see if it opens up the conversation for you. Sorry if I was long winded. I just get excited to share because this was the biggest hurdle in our marriage. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members My Turn Posted September 24, 2019 Members Report Share Posted September 24, 2019 @dmortensen Yes! This is so true, all of what you said. Not for every woman, of course. However, I must say this venue for expression has helped me understand so much about the male mind and how many women as well view sex. I was definitely a very sheltered person from my upbringing and my poor husband has been a very sex-driven animal. Yesterday was a huge breakthrough for me though, when we had a very honest discussion about my feelings and thoughts. We had a night that will live on in my memories forever! (I wrote about it in Sexy Stories, because it was that amazing!) Thank you so much for your thoughts. They are spot on for a number of women! ❤️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Katie Did It Posted May 7, 2022 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2022 My husband and I have never had compatible sex drives. I’m always on, he could care less about sex. He honestly just doesn’t thing about it and it is on my mind daily. I’ve tried to bridge this gap but it has only gotten bigger with time. And now I fear it is insurmountable. I’ve tried all the things for all the love languages, traditionally sexy things, no traditional sexy things..but to no avail. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tiptaste Posted August 27, 2022 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2022 On 5/7/2022 at 1:48 AM, Katie Did It said: My husband and I have never had compatible sex drives. I’m always on, he could care less about sex. He honestly just doesn’t thing about it and it is on my mind daily. I’ve tried to bridge this gap but it has only gotten bigger with time. And now I fear it is insurmountable. I’ve tried all the things for all the love languages, traditionally sexy things, no traditional sexy things..but to no avail. I def get that! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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