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Unsatisfying Dom/sub relationship

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    I've been in a relationship with my Dom for four years and we've always had a BDSM element in our relationship. We broke up for a few months at one point and I was seeing someone else during this time but we remained in contact and eventually got back together. We discussed our relationship at length to make sure there were no more misunderstandings and we wouldn't separate again, however, now he's told me he was never happy with our dynamic since I came back. It's been 2 1/2 years!!

   Here's what has been going on. We talked about me not working and just staying home while taking care of the house and food, he wanted a maid basically. I said that was fine by me I just wanted him to take care of me in exchange things like occasionally setting up a bath for me and washing me or buying treats like chocolate or new crafting supplies. There were more subtle things as well like petting my hair while he played games but I'm just trying to relay the gist of our relationship. Slowly he stopped doing those things about a year or so ago "I'm tired", "My back hurts", "I don't feel well", etc. and I was always on his side "I'm so sorry you're tired! Can I do anything for you?". I didn't realize what he was doing and I kept asking him if there was anything more I could do for our relationship. I believe the best relationships are about communicating everything to each other so everyone is always on the same page even if its hard to say. He always assured me he was perfectly happy. Probably about 9 months or so ago he started having sex with me less and less. Once a week, once every other week, once a month, once every couple of months and so on I think our current streak is four months.

   He continued to buying me things like collars (which if you don't know can be equivalent to a wedding ring or more) so I thought something was the matter but he didn't seem to. Up until 5-6 months ago he said he didn't want to be my Dom anymore. It was randomly outta the blue and I was shocked but I said I was okay with it because what else could I do? I thought I could make myself be okay with it because I love him and if I'm not okay with it... I've been more sad all the time and I asked him why he suddenly felt that way because I felt like I must have done something wrong and maybe I could fix it but he said he didn't want a submissive he wanted me to be his slave. I never ever would have agreed to that! I personally can't do that and even if I could I don't want to. He never said anything these past two years but he felt this way the whole time.

   I feel betrayed and lied to. I always held a very open pathway of communication I specifically made sure I behaved in a way so he could talk to me about anything but he chose not to. He says he wants to get his life together first and then he'll maybe want to try adding BDSM back into our life. I'm still sad; I cry about everything even stupid little things like an episode of Law And Order SVU I've never cried over it before. I can't make him do what he doesn't want to but then that means he gets to make me do what I don't want to. I'm non-monogamous by nature but I gave up everyone else for him. I don't know what to do. I'm writing this because yesterday I was laying in bed reading while he slept and when he woke up I cuddled up to him and playfully bit his arm because I was excited to see him. He yelled at me that I hurt him and it was a stupid thing to get so upset over but I went to the other room and cried and cried. I realized I was acting playfully submissive so he'd playfully act dominate but instead he got mad and I felt so rejected. Later in the shower I realized I never would have got back together with him if I knew this is how our relationship would be.

   Please, any advice is appreciated. I'm so lost.

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