Members trickychick Posted October 3, 2006 Members Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 Last night my man was going crazy, he had to have sex. It HAS been a few days, as I came off the pill and had my period(long story) but I said 'why havent you just had a wank?!' he said he hates doing that, its no good, he wants to have sex. I said 'i dont understand that' ...he didnt elaborate. He just said he really wanted SEX, it was making him angry not having any (not a violent angry, a frustrated angry). I dont understand why he doesnt masturbate when he feels like that?? I dont think he does it much at all. (We are both in our 30's BTW)Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ambrelyn Posted October 3, 2006 Members Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 My fiancee is the same way. Or at least he SAYS he is. He says he just doesn't get turned on unless I'm in the room. He said nothing gets him hot anymore, not porn, or magazines or anything. Just me. He seems pretty frustrated about it. Apparrently he did it alot before he met me. Which makes me feel pretty good, but there are times when we can't have sex and I feel like he'd be able to tolerate it better if he could get himself off. Maybe your guy is the same way. Maybe nothing he can do to himself feels quite as good as actual sex to him, so he doesn't bother. I would look at it like a compliment to how good the sex is between you guys. When we can't have sex because of something going on with me like my period, I just concentrate on giving him good blow jobs and such to keep him satisfied. Maybe a hand job from you would be hotter than doing it himself and he'd be able to get off. Just an idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted October 4, 2006 Report Share Posted October 4, 2006 Just like some women, some men were brought up with the same beliefs that masturbating is wrong wrong wrong!! Maybe he is one of those men?What I think is kind of an oxi-moron in a way, is that some of these people (me included) thought masturbating is wrong, but pre-maritual sex is fine!! Once I put those 2 together, I laughed at myself, and mentally opened myself up a bit more!! What makes one so bad, and the other fine? I'd say the MAJORITY of men on the planet masturbate. Maybe there are a few out there that don't. I've never met one yet! Now, if it comes down to masturbation or having actual SEX, then almost all men would choose SEX over jerking off. Everyone has preferences with likes and dislikes. But if there is a time where, for some reason, you can't have sex, and he's getting sexually frustrated, and you can't be there to help him, suggest he get himself off. Maybe try phone sex, or sexy letters to help him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crazygurl0203 Posted October 8, 2006 Members Report Share Posted October 8, 2006 I don't know why he doesn't. Is he self conscience?? I haven't masturbated in front of hubby yet. He knows i do and wants me to in front of him. He says I want to know you can pleasure your self. What if i die and I need to know you can do it...so show me...I keep putting it off...I just feel wierd about it...I don't know why...I just do...I mean he's seen me naked....so i know its not a self conscience thing.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elise Posted October 11, 2006 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2006 I agree with Howard. Very wise words, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members curvacious_lust Posted October 11, 2006 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2006 Wow...Thanks Howard! Hubby won't masturbate but will let me give him hand jobs, etc. When I would ask him, he'd say, "I'm married now, I don't need to jack off" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kirk Posted October 15, 2006 Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2006 I "jack off" on a nearly daily basis, my wife knows it and is fine with it. For the life of me I can't understand why she doesn't masturbate. She uses a small vibe on her clit as a regular part of sex, but ONLY when I am penetrating her. One of my fantasies is to watch a woman masturbate, she knows this but cannot bring herself to do it while I just watch. Weird. Also, she refuses to touch herself with her fingers under any cercumstance (sp), says it does nothing for her yet I can bring her to orgasm by massaging her clit so I am sure it is all in her head. I have tried for years to get her to relax and lose her inhibitions but always hit a brick wall. Oh well, I refuse to quit trying... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kirk Posted October 17, 2006 Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Have you used water sprays or streams to stimulate her ? Maybe that is the bridge she can use to overcome this fear. It certainly would be fun for her to try! HowardI totally agree, it would be great fun but she is too embarrased to try it and is somewhat uncomfortable even talking about it as I have suggested getting one of those removable pulsating shower heads and she basically told me not to bother because she would not try it. I do plan to surprise her with a nice candle lit bubble bath with a chilled bottle of wine soon. After a few drinks and some necking I am going to try to get her to spread those long lucious legs and slide that hot little body under the bathtub faucet. More than likely I will get a dirty look from her as she exits the bath, but oh well gotta keep trying.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted October 17, 2006 Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Howard I totally agree with your words in this post. Trickychick, my husband wouldn't at first but now he loves it and I love to watch him. I agree though and I would respect what your SO has to say. Here is a little tip though, Although I haven't had a period in about 3months thanks to a hysterectomy, but what I use to do when it was that time of the month and I didn't feel like having sex. I would help him, whether it was me giving him a blow job, a dirty dance so I could watch him "whack off" as you say. I also sometimes just gave him a hand job. There are some men that just don't believe in masturbating, in fact my SO use to say isn't that what your for! Then once he found out that it turned me on, and I mean TURNED me on he relized that it wasn't a break in our vows or anything else. At this point though I think Howard is right in his opinion. I wouldn't ask him to and I think I would respect his feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie vh5150 Posted November 1, 2006 Newbie Report Share Posted November 1, 2006 Last night my man was going crazy, he had to have sex. It HAS been a few days, as I came off the pill and had my period(long story) but I said 'why havent you just had a wank?!' he said he hates doing that, its no good, he wants to have sex. I said 'i dont understand that' ...he didnt elaborate. He just said he really wanted SEX, it was making him angry not having any (not a violent angry, a frustrated angry). I dont understand why he doesnt masturbate when he feels like that?? I dont think he does it much at all. (We are both in our 30's BTW)Any ideas?my wife knows that i masturbate, as well as i know that she does. there are times when my wife is on her period and here is what we do. i will suck on her tits while i "take care of myself". my wife enjoys watching me. we have a great sex life!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve68 Posted March 19, 2018 Members Report Share Posted March 19, 2018 I masterbate about 3 days a week as my wife hasn’t gave me sex in 11 years now if I ask for it she tells me to fuck off or stop talking about she won’t even give me a hand job. These days I masterbate so times I do it twice a day I really love wanking sometimes I would watch porn on my tablet prop it up on window sill in my bedroom with curtains open as our bed is at the same height as the sill and wank as it really turns me on knowing someone could walk past and look up but I’ll only do it late at night when I do that I’ll even go to our local woods and do it outside to see if I get caught Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lis Posted May 27, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2018 On 3/18/2018 at 9:46 PM, Steve68 said: I masterbate about 3 days a week as my wife hasn’t gave me sex in 11 years now if I ask for it she tells me to fuck off or stop talking about she won’t even give me a hand job. These days I masterbate so times I do it twice a day I really love wanking sometimes I would watch porn on my tablet prop it up on window sill in my bedroom with curtains open as our bed is at the same height as the sill and wank as it really turns me on knowing someone could walk past and look up but I’ll only do it late at night when I do that I’ll even go to our local woods and do it outside to see if I get caught You haven't had sex with your wife in 11 years????? No wonder you love to masturbate!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members scubadiv1951 Posted May 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 11 years and no sex and she treats you like that? Doesn't seem right ! That has to really hurt when she tells you to "fuck off. " How could she say that ?? I must be missing something here ?? None of my business , but all the same ,I don't understand why your still married if that is the case!! I couldn't and would put up with it myself for one min. I was single for a time and masturbation was my only outlet at times but never the solution, only a temporary fix. So do what you have to do to survive. I wish you the best of luck ! Seems a little late now , but have you ever considered getting some professional help for the two of you ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted May 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 It is never to late to seek help. There are some very skilled professionals working in sexuality that can help. I can empathize with the plight of being in a relationship where your partner doesn’t want sex or has turned off that part of life. I have been there. The relationship ended after a couple years. Masturbation became my only release during that time. I don’t think I could have done that for 11 years. I am too sexual of a person. But, obviously you have a bond with your partner that goes beyond sex. Maybe it is time to have a talk about what other options are open for both of you. I will offer a word of caution. Even within your own home, I’d you are in sight of others as you self pleasure you can be arrested and possibly convicted of a crime if someone sees you and is offended by your action. All it takes is a simple call to police. Almost every state in America has a charge on the book of indecent exposure and “lude behavior.” I get the excitement of possibly being caught, but it is not worth the consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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