Sex Drive Of Older Adults

[bluelight]

I'm 27 and not yet married. I want to be married but can't find the right guy I guess. I've only been with one man so I'm very inexperienced and that's okay I would rathing gain experience through marriage. One of my coworkers said the other day that when you get older and I'm assuming he just meant from middle age to senior. He said that as you get older you want sex less and less. Well that scared me because i haven't even had any good sex yet and what if it takes me until i'm 40 or older to get married. Will I, by then, not even be interested in sex as much as I am now in my 20's? I hope that me and my future husband can have a good and healthy sex life forever. Is there truth to this?

[Mike_d]

while it's true that most older couples have sex less than many younger ones, I don't think it's a set in stone rule that once you hit 40 sex is over. Look at sexygranny on here, she is 62 and getting down and dirty! It's mostly a state of mind. If you are excited and attracted to your husband, and want to have sex with him, medical issues aside, you should. Unless there is some medical issue, there are no reasons not to have a great great great sexlife after 40.

[Tyger]

Where it is true that when you're in a long-term relationship, you tend to not want sex as often, that doesn't mean your sex life dies when you hit, say, 40-ish. Some women, when they reach menopause, tend to desire sex less, due to lack of estrogen. But that can be assisted by hormonal therapy regulated by your GYN. With men, their sex drives can be lowered by health issues (such as high blood pressure, ED-erectile dysfunction, stress), also treatable with your doctor's help.

Usually, in most new relationships, there is a lot of sex. The newness and desire to please your SO is stronger. To keep your sex life alive and well takes some work, a willingness to listen, please, and try new things. Once you're in a long-term relationship, the almost-desperate feeling some people get when they're first with someone disappears, and a comfortable routine ensues in the relationship. This isn't a bad thing, it's just another stage in your relationship.

And, you are right, gaining experience sexually is through quality, not quantity. It's sad that your coworker hasn't discovered that it takes TWO people in a relationship to keep things alive and exciting. Truly GREAT sex comes from a desire to please, listening, asking questions, and teaching with your SO.

[Blush]

I have to say as a late 40's woman. my drive is at an all time peak. I think I'm more comfortable with my body, my sexuality, my wants and needs, my kinks....

I haven't started menopause yet so I can't speak to what changes will come about.

All I know is I keep looking for a younger man to keep up with me in the bedroom!!

YMMV

[whiskeywoman]

Sorry, I hate to disagree with your source of information, but no, when you hit your 40's you do not lose your sex drive.

God has a cruel sense of humor, he tells men "When you are in your late teens early 20's you have an insanely high sex drive"

When women are coming down the assembly line he says "When you hit your mid 30's to early 40's you will get an insanely high sex drive"

Talk about unfair...

I just turned 37 this past February, and my sex drive is higher now than it ever has been.

Now I know several couples that have been married 40 plus years (mostly family) and they don't have sex all that often.

My Aunt and Uncle are going on 45 years married, he has about 2 dozen heart surgeries and they STILL have sex 2 times a week.

My Aunt said she wants it more often, but because of his heart condition they don't risk it.

There are no unspoken rules about marrige and your sex life, or life for that matter.

You don't want your sex life to decline after marrige? then don't let it, you don't want your life to decline? then don't, plain and simple.

[sexygranny]

Hi honey,

I am 62 years old (soon to be 63) and have been married a long time and all I can tell you is that I love sex more now and am feeling sexier then I ever have. My dh and I have been having more sex then ever and trying so many new things. I just love it and am having so much fun. When you are with the right person and are willing to try new things and have an open mind. Age doesn't matter. So have fun as Howard says and don't worry. As mike said its state of mind.

[clewing]

Don't believe everything you hear! I went through a slump a few years back, but realize now it was job related stress and the 60 hour weeks I was putting in. Once that stress was out of my life my sex drive came back stronger than it has ever been in my entire life, even when I was 20. And sex seems better to me now than it was when I was younger. My husband and I know each other more, know what we like, and aren't afraid to try new things. It is much more satisfying than ever before!